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Stop Stressing - Sacred Time and Space
Copyright (c) 2010-2012 Larry Tobin
In addition to the way that stress becomes quite relentless and ever present in our lives, it also has a terrible habit of refusing to respect boundaries. No matter how we might assume that everything's been taken care of, something always seems to come up to intrude into our few free moments and rob us of the rest we so desperately need.
The body has tremendous powers to recover from difficulties and exhaustion. This is why even people in terrible jobs with bad health still are able to get up every day and go back into it, grinding themselves against the stone - even a little bit of rest provides a recuperation of sorts. However, if not taken advantage of, this tendency will only draw out our exposure to and struggle with stress, delaying the inevitable breakdown that comes from high-stress living.
If we learn the process of establishing boundaries and creating opportunities to rest - instead of just utilizing them as they show up - we can multiply the power of this rejuvenating phenomenon so that we feel more calm, empowered and at ease with our lives.
Step 1 - Take Control
Again, stress will not stop intruding on its own. We have to make it stop by pushing it aside so that we have more room for our own happiness.
As part of our exercises, we've been keeping a stress log. Take the time to look yours over and find out what periods of each day are the least busy overall. Set these times aside and immediately let people know that this will be a period that you're resting and not to be reached. In taking this step, you naturally create the space for yourself, instead of relying on reality to provide it for you and ending up frustrated when reality doesn't cooperate.
Step 2 - Be Consistent
Remember that the key to successful habit building is to get into a timed routine that occurs on a schedule. It's the activities we try to "get to when we can" that we're most likely to cut in favor of scheduled or planned events, as we've learned before.
So you should put your relaxation time on as much of a schedule if possible. If you can, make it for the same time every day. If your day schedule swings around a lot, such as working day shifts early in the week and night shifts at the end of it, then adjust accordingly. For example, perhaps you can't have a relaxing time at 5 p.m. every day because two days out of the week you're engaged in work projects at 5 p.m. Move the relaxation on those two days to another time you can make work, and stick to that schedule.
Step 3 - Be Firm
The title of this article refers to the word "sacred" in the sense of something that can't be argued with and shouldn't be violated. In addition to making the necessary time available for yourself, you need to be absolutely firm in attending to it.
Our modern conveniences would have us believe that we need to be in absolutely constant contact at all hours of the day, but this really is an illusion. Almost everyone can do without reaching a certain person for many hours, and we are no different. So, when the time comes to engage in your appointed relaxation, take every step to make sure it is absolute.
If your relaxation time is set up so you need to be alone, turn off the computer and the phone entirely. If you have a landline, disconnect it, or set the voicemail to mute at least. The messages will be there when you're done. If you absolutely must be available in the event of an emergency, clearly spell out to anyone what an emergency is - something requiring you to speak to the police or the paramedics is a good standard to start with.
If your relaxation time is set aside for being with friends, then follow similar measures. Let people know you will not answer any messages sent during your time with those friends, again with the same injunction about what really would be an emergency.
Step 4 - Be Creative
The specific nature of the rejuvenation you choose should be deeply personal and something you enjoy without reservation. Perhaps it's a comfortable nap on the couch in the sunroom, or an hour spent reading a good book. Maybe it isn't a daily event, but a weekly trip to the beach to enjoy the sun and fresh air. Maybe it's just a good night out with friends singing karaoke.
Whatever you choose, make sure it's something you look forward to doing. A great deal of the rejuvenating power of a preferred activity comes from anticipating how much fun or how relaxing it will be, and then being satisfied when it meets or even exceeds expectation. So leave yourself reminders of it where you can see or notice them, so that the delightful experience awaiting you will always be ahead in your mind.
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Larry Tobin is the co-creator of http://www.HabitChanger.com/, offering effective and empowering solutions for stopping stress. Try our 42-day program that will help you learn proactive habits to beat stress and keep you moving forward in the right direction.
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Top-Level Category: Self Improvement Articles || Related Categories: Family Articles and Health and Wellness Articles
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