|
Training for Book Authors
|
|
|
Other Resources for Book Authors & Publishers
|
|
|
Please Support Our Advertisers
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stop Stressing - Using Systems to Gain Control
Copyright (c) 2010-2023 Larry Tobin
So far, we've been focusing on using small steps and independent techniques to help deal with the stress which piles up in our lives. We know about using the STOP method to interrupt difficult thoughts, or to get our attention where we need it instead of where it's trying to go. We know about taking down notes in our stress log so that we can see where problems are building up. We know about scheduling our events around consistent times and not letting our schedules get derailed. Each of these techniques is a good and proper one for dealing with stress.
However, there is another technique that takes advantage of all the things we've talked about and makes them even more effective. This technique is called "system building."
What is it?
System building is a method of taking all of your different techniques and applying them in an organized way, so that instead of reacting to stress as it comes up, you can head it off beforehand and minimize its presence in your life at all.
Why do I need it?
Studies show that humans are best suited for routines. Yes, we all crave a little change and excitement, but the best way to live day in and day out is in a stable yet adaptable routine. A routine is in fact a kind of system, built from our habits and usual practices to deal with the things that come up.
Where stress comes in is when our system fails a little. We try to graft something right on top of our existing routine and system, instead of bringing it inside where it's part of things. We think about it as an outside imposition, rather then a necessary part of our routine, and thus we struggle against it and find ourselves stressing out.
How do I do it?
This is the beautiful part. If you've been following the program so far, you're already doing it. It's the step-by-step process of integrating the things we've already learned about, as mentioned above.
Step 1 - Go Through the Log
Now that you've had time to let your stress log develop, sit down and look through it. More than likely, you're noticing a handful of patterns that keep popping up. Whatever form it takes, this is the sort of stress that comes up again and again, and isn't likely to just stop if it's ignored.
Without recriminations, take a separate piece of paper and notice all the events that come up more than once or twice. List all the inconveniences that keep popping up to hinder your stress-reduction efforts, along with a note of how often you have to deal with them.
Step 2 - Write Down Your Routine
Set aside the list of repeat stresses for a moment. Starting with the bare minimum events, list out your routine for the day. Start with when you get up, including important steps like meals, work, travel time and the like. List approximately how long each takes, and what times you usually engage in these activities.
Step 3 - Assign Times
Now that you have these two frameworks written out, it's time to combine the two.
Remember that having specific times to do things is the strongest way to build a routine. Equally, trying to squeeze in events that are stressful without making them part of a scheduled timeframe is a way to amplify stress. Therefore, take advantage of scheduling to help reduce the impact of stressful events.
For example, some of us might be going to school to get that all-important degree. However, real life often gets in the way and few of us have the luxury of going to school full time without other matters to deal with. Thus, schoolwork gets shoved around until the last minute, and then we're panicking and it's stressing us out more than it needs to.
Instead, find a time between work and school, and schedule it as an inviolate time to sit down and tackle at least one part of your homework. Set an alert on your computer or cell phone if the reminder will help, and sit down to do the work. Make sure it's the same time every day to emphasize that part of your routine.
Then, after only three weeks of this, it is likely that you will have internalized the event. It will no longer be "oh, nuts, I forgot homework..." Instead, it will feel like a part of your life, something that belongs to you and is firmly under your control.
Step 4 - Delegate!
As much as the world wants us to believe that we can all be supermen and do everything we put our minds to, we cannot. We're human beings with limits, needs, and distinct abilities - and that is OK. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging our limits.
Maybe the house is just too messy to tackle on our own. Between work, school, the family and trying to exercise more often, we just don't have the energy to get to it, but we don't want it to get worse, either. Hire someone. Offer a friend a meal and 25 bucks to help you tear through the garage, or hire a short-term housecleaner while you get your schedule in order.
Whatever way you do it, asking for help is not a weakness, it's a tool in your kit of ways to reduce stress. Once you know what you can handle, don't feel bad about delegating the rest to others.
|
Larry Tobin is the co-creator of http://www.HabitChanger.com/, offering effective and empowering solutions for stopping stress. Try our 42-day program that will help you learn proactive habits to beat stress and keep you moving forward in the right direction.
|
VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE
Needs Work >>
0 -
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5
<< Excellent Article
Tell our authors what you think about their article.
|
Top-Level Category: Self Improvement Articles || Related Categories: Health and Wellness Articles
10 Most Recent Articles Written by Larry Tobin
Losing Weight - The Addiction of Comfort Food
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-11-04 |
Word Count: 863 |
Page Views: 6400
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.00
Its very name is appealing - comfort food. What could be
more wonderful than a food that helps us feel better? Almost
everyone can name something that they eat when they're just
feeling sour or sad. Of course, we know that food can't be
the solution to our problems, especially the problem of
trying to lose weight and keep it off. So why do we find
ourselves trapped in the eat/feel better/feel worse/eat some
more cycle?
Stop Stressing - Sacred Time and Space
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-11-02 |
Word Count: 847 |
Page Views: 4752
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 1.75
In addition to the way that stress becomes quite relentless
and ever present in our lives, it also has a terrible habit
of refusing to respect boundaries. If we learn the process
of establishing boundaries and creating opportunities to
rest - instead of just utilizing them as they show up - we
can multiply the power of this rejuvenating phenomenon so
that we feel more calm, empowered and at ease with our
lives.
Stop Stressing - Do, Defer, Delegate
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-10-28 |
Word Count: 859 |
Page Views: 4608
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.80
Sometimes the problem that we're dealing with isn't
necessarily a matter of the stress itself, but rather the
way we're approaching it. Fortunately, this also means that
we can correct those same problems that we've made. What we
need to learn to do is analyze, categorize and prioritize
our efforts.
Stop Stressing - Stressors and Themes
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-09-07 |
Word Count: 906 |
Page Views: 4426
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 1.33
One of the most important ways to identify stressors and
their role is to figure out their theme. A theme is a sort
of thread that ties seemingly different elements into the
same whole. What seems like many problems is actually just
one related, overall problem. Once we know our major stress
themes, we can begin taking more appropriate big-picture
steps along with smaller ones.
Losing Weight - A Body in Motion
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-09-02 |
Word Count: 853 |
Page Views: 4593
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 0.00
Newton tells us that a body in motion will stay in motion
unless acted upon; likewise, a body at rest will stay at
rest until acted upon. This gives us a powerful metaphor for
the difficulties of getting into a proper, healthy exercise
habit that can help shed weight and keep it off. If we can
break our old habits and get ourselves into a good, strong
routine of healthy habits, we will find they are much easier
to maintain. This applies just as much to exercise as to any
other habit we have in mind. Taking it step by step
(literally!) can make all the difference in the world.
Stop Stressing - External Checks on Internal Perceptions
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-08-31 |
Word Count: 855 |
Page Views: 4346
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 1.33
It's very easy to take our perception as reality. We see a
wall six feet away, we say it's six feet away. We feel hot,
we say it is hot. The problem is, perceptions are a matter
of perspective and information. This is one of the most
important stress management tools available in our toolkit.
Let's look at a healthy habit we can build to help combat
our internal perceptions with external information.
Stop Stressing - Finding Choices
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-08-24 |
Word Count: 932 |
Page Views: 4217
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 0.50
It's hard to make a good choice instead of a bad one. It
can be even harder to go back and undo a bad choice that we
made some time ago. Instead, many times we stubbornly
reinforce it again and again, letting it build up over time
to continue burying us in worry, regret and stress. If we
genuinely want to build lifelong habits that will benefit us
and reduce the amount of stress in our lives, we have to
look seriously at every aspect of those lives and improve
them.
Losing Weight and Building Confidence
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-08-19 |
Word Count: 915 |
Page Views: 4358
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.45
Having confidence in your goal is important. It's tough to
stick to something we don't believe we can do, after all.
Just like all of our other behaviors, confidence also is a
habit. It's a way of thinking that, if we cultivate it
properly, will become automatic. People with more confidence
try more things, take more risks and have more experiences
overall than those of us without it. So let's look at a few
ways we can cultivate that kind of confidence for ourselves.
Stop Stressing - Don't Look Back
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-08-17 |
Word Count: 859 |
Page Views: 4276
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.67
The past can be a problematic albatross to carry around.
We'll forget where we left our keys 20 minutes ago, but ask
us to remember an embarrassing moment from our childhood and
it will come to mind like a flash. For some reason, we seem
incredibly predisposed toward reminiscing over troubling
events. We replay and replay them in our minds until we
can't focus on anything else but feeling mortified and
wondering if we made the right decision. What's needed is a
system - a way of approaching the problem piece by piece and
addressing each part until we can settle it logically.
Stop Stressing - Breathe Deep
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-08-12 |
Word Count: 883 |
Page Views: 4026
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 0.50
We can turn breathing from something that just happens
automatically into a powerful, stress-controlling habit that
allows us to regulate the way our body processes its energy.
For those of us looking to reduce stress in our lives,
following are a few tips on how to make breathing into a
life-affirming habit.
All of Author's Articles on this site: Larry Tobin Articles
Most Recent "Self Improvement" Articles
Why So Many People Have Tried Dating And Are Still Alone
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-11-06 |
Word Count: 692 |
Page Views: 9593
| Votes: 34 |
Rating: 2.32
Let's face it; we all want to find our special someone.
Unfortunately, too many people involved in the Dating Game are
hurting their chances of success, before they even go on that
first date.
Online Dating Is Easy, But Successful Relationships Require Hard Work
Written by: Denice Ritter |
Distributed: 2013-10-31 |
Word Count: 564 |
Page Views: 7602
| Votes: 18 |
Rating: 2.00
My nineteenth anniversary will be here in a week and a half.
So what's so exceptional about that in Mormon Utah? Just
this: I have a mail-order husband. He has a mail-order
bride. In those days, there was no Internet, and therefore,
there was no such thing as online dating. I had to do it the
hard way...
Wal-Mart Has Everything You Need Including Your Next Dating Prospect
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-31 |
Word Count: 674 |
Page Views: 8415
| Votes: 33 |
Rating: 2.27
My 20-year-old nephew came to live with me and my kids, until he
can get on his own two feet financially. His hometown - my
hometown is really small... providing little opportunity to
someone looking to get started in life on the right foot. I
showed him around town, set him on a path to find a job, and
pointed out where he could go to meet girls his own age... And in
the end, I learned an age-old lesson from my nephew...
Verify The Identity Of Your Online Dating Match
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-30 |
Word Count: 502 |
Page Views: 9979
| Votes: 21 |
Rating: 1.71
The biggest hurdle that most people face in online dating world
is the question and concern of whether the person at the other
end of the conversation is really who he or she says that they
are.
Tips To Help You Spot and Avoid Online Dating Scams
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-29 |
Word Count: 1082 |
Page Views: 8166
| Votes: 24 |
Rating: 2.21
When seeking romance on the Internet, you should be aware of the
many scammers that are seeking to victimize those looking for
love.
Top 3 Things You Must Do To Sell Yourself to Others In The Dating Game
Written by: Kandice Skaggs |
Distributed: 2013-10-29 |
Word Count: 836 |
Page Views: 5662
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
Every day, we sell ourselves to others. We exert effort to
be accepted by the society, which is a form of selling
ourselves. In the office or any workplace, you sell yourself
to your boss, your workmates and clients, convincing them
that you are worthy of notice, time, and respect. Dating is
no different!
Tips For Building a Successful Long Distance Relationship
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-24 |
Word Count: 731 |
Page Views: 7661
| Votes: 26 |
Rating: 1.85
From time to time, life will hand you a twist, and you will be
required to move from one place to another - this can be the
result of a job transfer, leaving home to attend college, or any
of a number of other reasons. When you move from one town to
another, it is not always possible to bring your partner with
you, and this sometimes leads to the formation of a long distance
relationship (LDR).
Take The Dating Scene One Step At A Time, After Divorce
Written by: RoseMary Alberts |
Distributed: 2013-10-23 |
Word Count: 567 |
Page Views: 7739
| Votes: 30 |
Rating: 1.07
After divorce, the word "dating" scares a lot of people.
If you've been married a long time you probably have lost
track of all the unwritten rules or even how to go about
meeting new eligible people. Many people immediately take
off for the clubs thinking that that is the place they are
going to meet someone. You may meet someone there, but it
depends on what you are looking for. But, if you are looking
for more, this article will help you find your way...
Online Dating Tips: Can You Really Find Your Soul Mate Online?
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-22 |
Word Count: 855 |
Page Views: 5400
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 1.36
Many people think that finding THE ONE is really easy and
will just come when the time is right. Yes, it happens to
many people. But there are also those who go through many
challenges before meeting the person with whom they will
spend their lifetimes. This is why Internet dating has
become so attractive and popular.
Online Dating: Not Your Ticket To Adam Levine
Written by: Kandice Skaggs |
Distributed: 2013-10-22 |
Word Count: 912 |
Page Views: 5434
| Votes: 13 |
Rating: 1.38
Okay. You think you're hot. Sexy, accomplished, young. But
you're single. Oops. There goes the relationship barometer
- down, way down the drain, and you suddenly turn to the
internet. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Most Viewed "Self Improvement" Articles
Fill-In-The-Blank Bio Templates to Write Your Personal or Professional Bio
Written by: Barbra Sundquist |
Distributed: 2008-04-17 |
Word Count: 654 |
Page Views: 153527
| Votes: 247 |
Rating: 2.44
It's not hard to write a personal or professional bio when you
use the fill-in-the-blank bio templates provided in this article.
All you have to do is choose one or two sentences from each of
the four categories and add your details. The result will be a
first-rate personal or professional bio.
Making Women Lust For You
Written by: Kathy Stafford |
Distributed: 2007-10-29 |
Word Count: 566 |
Page Views: 30153
| Votes: 92 |
Rating: 1.71
Ways to be the man women will lust for. Offers suggestions on how
to improve your physical image as well as your personality to
make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.
Why Is Failure The Steppingstone To Success?
Written by: Kent Jacobson a.k.a. Mr. Success |
Distributed: 2007-06-07 |
Word Count: 156 |
Page Views: 18838
| Votes: 149 |
Rating: 1.85
The pervasive misperception is that failure is somehow bad for
you. I think failure is just the opposite and have identified 8
reasons why failure is your steppingstone to success.
Do You Take Things Personally? Learn How Not To
Written by: Carol Chanel |
Distributed: 2006-11-02 |
Word Count: 1891 |
Page Views: 17418
| Votes: 50 |
Rating: 4.02
Do you take things personally and wish you didn't? Do you want
to know how not to take things personally? Every time I say I
help people learn how not to take things personally I always get
the same response – oh, I need help with that.
How To Avoid The Pitfalls, Wrong Turns, Broken Hearts Of Online Dating
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-16 |
Word Count: 657 |
Page Views: 13292
| Votes: 30 |
Rating: 1.87
As an experienced online dater, I feel qualified to help you avoid
pitfalls, wrong turns, broken hearts, and the general
catastrophes associated with internet wooing. Read on as I
examine many of the pitfalls of online dating and how to avoid
them...
She Won't Call Me Back
Written by: Kathy Stafford |
Distributed: 2007-11-07 |
Word Count: 503 |
Page Views: 12676
| Votes: 32 |
Rating: 2.78
How to proceed when the woman you connected with won't return
your phone calls or emails. Tips for determining whether you
should continue to try to contact her or forget her and move on
to someone new.
How To Be Happy -- With Whatever Life Gives You!
Written by: Bruce Elkin |
Distributed: 2008-01-28 |
Word Count: 1087 |
Page Views: 12103
| Votes: 25 |
Rating: 2.16
The way we make ourselves happy is unique to each of us. But the ways we make ourselves unhappy are remarkably common to all of us. So, perhaps, by not doing the things that makes us unhappy, we can create more space for deep and lasting happiness we long for.
Talking About Past Relationships
Written by: Kathy Stafford |
Distributed: 2007-11-13 |
Word Count: 685 |
Page Views: 11003
| Votes: 23 |
Rating: 2.39
How much information do you give your girlfriend about your past
relationships? Offers tips for how to answer the question from
your girlfriend about your past relationship – what to tell, and
what not to tell.
Getting Your Boyfriend's Forgiveness
Written by: Kathy Stafford |
Distributed: 2007-10-10 |
Word Count: 499 |
Page Views: 10778
| Votes: 29 |
Rating: 1.48
Advice on asking for forgiveness after you've made a mistake in
your relationship. How to repair your relationship and reduce the
anger.
Verify The Identity Of Your Online Dating Match
Written by: Lance Metzger |
Distributed: 2013-10-30 |
Word Count: 502 |
Page Views: 9979
| Votes: 21 |
Rating: 1.71
The biggest hurdle that most people face in online dating world
is the question and concern of whether the person at the other
end of the conversation is really who he or she says that they
are.
Highest Ranked "Self Improvement" Articles
Do You Take Things Personally? Learn How Not To
Written by: Carol Chanel |
Distributed: 2006-11-02 |
Word Count: 1891 |
Page Views: 17418
| Votes: 50 |
Rating: 4.02
Do you take things personally and wish you didn't? Do you want
to know how not to take things personally? Every time I say I
help people learn how not to take things personally I always get
the same response – oh, I need help with that.
Learn The Secret To Becoming An Expert At Anything
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2007-05-09 |
Word Count: 930 |
Page Views: 4840
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 3.33
What happens when you step off the edge of a thirty story
building's rooftop with nothing to keep you in the air? Gravity
drops you like a rock. It's an immutable law. This law will
never be broken. Here's another one. Energy can't be created or
destroyed; it may be transformed from one form to another, but
the total amount of energy can never change. You may be wondering
what this has to do with becoming an expert at something. Read
on, you'll begin to see what I'm getting at here.
Law of Success: Part II
Written by: Sharif Khan |
Distributed: 2007-07-18 |
Word Count: 1856 |
Page Views: 5041
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 3.18
Learn the Success Secrets of over 500 of the world's greatest
achievers in this special three part educational series
commemorating the work of Napoleon Hill's classic bestseller,
'Law of Success.'
Time Management For Busy Moms
Written by: Jance Hayes |
Distributed: 2006-07-12 |
Word Count: 348 |
Page Views: 4920
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 3.13
How do you do it? You work 40 hours a week, commute eight, cook,
clean, read bed time stories, help with homework, finagle home
finances and still have time for yourself and your spouse. Is
there an easier way? Before you peanut butter that gum out of
Sarah's hair or hunt down Cameron's pet rat, take a deep breath
and try these helpful time management tips:
Law of Success: Part I
Written by: Sharif Khan |
Distributed: 2007-07-17 |
Word Count: 1173 |
Page Views: 4476
| Votes: 25 |
Rating: 3.12
Learn the Success Secrets of over 500 of the world's greatest
achievers in this special three part educational series
commemorating the work of Napoleon Hill's classic bestseller,
'Law of Success.'
The Key to Success in Psychometric Tests – Personality and Aptitude
Written by: Ron Clover |
Distributed: 2008-02-13 |
Word Count: 793 |
Page Views: 5219
| Votes: 16 |
Rating: 2.94
In the current job market, being invited to a job interview
almost always entails taking psychometric tests. The two main
elements in psychometric testing consist of – personality tests
and aptitude (IQ) tests.
Personal Decisions Of The Heart: Clearing Out The Muck!
Written by: Bronwyn NobleStar |
Distributed: 2007-11-08 |
Word Count: 1552 |
Page Views: 3592
| Votes: 10 |
Rating: 2.90
Did you start your day with Love or Hate? Discover how to improve
the quality of your life by asking this simple question, daily!
Will you take your emotional life into your own hands?
The Heart of The Matter - The Most Sought After Frontier - And If It Isn't, Shouldn't It Be? Episode #2 -Feelings -The Big Cover-Up!
Written by: Bronwyn NobleStar |
Distributed: 2007-10-25 |
Word Count: 819 |
Page Views: 4087
| Votes: 9 |
Rating: 2.89
Did you start your day with LOVE or HATE? By asking this
underlying question the quality of your life can be improved! Do
you always recognize that what you experience is based on
feelings? Does it really matter? You bet! Generally, the ego does
such a good job of covering up, burying or hiding your feelings
that you may have forgotten the way to The Heart of The Matter -
your emotions...your feelings!
Unlock the Treasure Within
Written by: Judith Waller |
Distributed: 2007-01-09 |
Word Count: 1091 |
Page Views: 5482
| Votes: 22 |
Rating: 2.86
Do you know why you're here and what you're meant to be doing with your life? Well, your soul has the answers! In this article, I reveal to you a way of tuning in to hear the messages from your soul, and offer some tips to help you uncover your own inner treasure.
Spring Clean Your Life!
Written by: Jan Hornford |
Distributed: 2008-05-13 |
Word Count: 1091 |
Page Views: 4058
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 2.86
My spring cleaning has been centered on eliminating tolerations.
Tolerations are anything that you are putting up with that drains
your energy or irritates you. Eliminating tolerations is a simple
way to get you into action, generate momentum and create energy
in your life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Article Reprint Rights
|
This work is
licensed under a
Creative Commons
License
You are not required to show the creative commons license notice when you reprint this work.
|
|
Article Statistics
|
Word Count: 919
Total Views: 4006
Article Rating: 1.67 of 5
Votes Cast: 3
More Articles By Author:
Articles On This Website
Last Distribution Date:
2010-08-26 10:15:00
Internal ID: #7526
|
|
|
Home