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Should I Wait Or Should I Go?
Copyright (c) 2007-2023 Kathy Stafford, All Rights Reserved
Your boyfriend broke up with you. You're hurt and angry, but you know the two of you are right for each other. He just hasn't understood that yet, but he will. So you think you will just give him some time to come around. But you don't want to waste your time waiting for something that may not happen. So what do you do?
This is a tough question, and it's one that you must answer for yourself. You might decide that you're going to wait around for him for as long as it takes for him to come to his senses or you might decide that you're not going to bother waiting around for him.
For many women, the best thing to do is not wait around.
This might sound harsh, but you really don't need to put your life on hold for him. If he broke up with you, he had a reason, and that reason is probably not going to change anytime soon. Sure, it's a nice fantasy to imagine that he's going to come to his senses and come running back to you, but the truth is that he might never come to that conclusion.
First, understand that you're someone worthy of having someone want them. Instead of waiting on the sidelines for your ex- to come back to you, walk away from him and get with someone who wants you for who you are. It's nice to imagine that he's going to wake up one day and realize what he's lost, but the truth of the matter is that it's probably not going to happen. Think of all the relationships that you've witnessed and count the number of times that a man has ever come back after making a serious mistake. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be a very high number. Have you ever gone back to someone after you've broken up with him? I doubt it.
Now, just because you're not waiting around doesn't mean that he's not going to ask you back. That could happen. If it does, you're going to have more power in the relationship if you're not just sitting around waiting for him. If he wants you back and sees that you've been waiting for him, it's going to feed his ego and make him feel like he's on pretty solid ground. On the other hand, if he wants you back and finds that you're dating other men, it's going to make him realize that you're not quite the pushover that he once thought you were. That means he's going to have to put some effort into making the relationship work.
The benefit to not waiting around for him is that you also experience new people and new relationships. Sure he might come back for you, but by that time you might have met someone who is even better for you. Even if he comes back, you'll be able to tell him that you're not interested.
When a man knows that a woman still wants him, it feeds his ego – and it doesn't put any pressure on him to get back together with her. After all, she's the one waiting. But, when a man finds his ex-girlfriend with another man, enjoying herself and having fun, it makes him take a look at the entire situation once again and it lights a fire under him to come to some sort of decision.
There's no point in waiting around to see if something's going to happen. If nothing comes to pass, all you've done is wasted precious time – time that you could have spent meeting new people and having new experiences.
Always remember the one thing that's certain is that you're someone who's worth being treated properly and who should only want to be with someone who wants to be with you. When one man makes a mistake and lets you get away, find someone who won't be so foolish.
Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, "I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married" Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for relationship articles, advice, and programs.
Get Kathy's new book, "Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man." and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com
Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.
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