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Are You Playing The Fool?

Copyright (c) 2007-2012 , All Rights Reserved

If you find yourself wondering if your boyfriend is playing you for a fool, something must already be taking place in the relationship that isn't healthy. Just the fact that this question is out there makes you realize that something is just not right. This means you are going to have to examine your relationship.

First of all, you need to determine where this question is coming from. Is he sending out signals that are making you curious, or has some third-party brought up these issues?

Let's say that your friends have gotten you wondering about him. This happens a lot, and it can be caused by any number of items. Your friends might not like him and they might think that you need to be with someone else. This is seen most often when there are two people from different social structures who have come together. The friends of one of the parties feel that the other party just isn't right for their friend and they wind up casting doubt and suspicion on the relationship. Sometimes, one of your friends might be jealous of what you have and might just want to sabotage your relationship.

If your friends are the ones who are making you wonder about his motives, you need to proceed carefully. The last thing you want to do is go charging up to him and demand some answers, only to find that you've made a fool of yourself on your own. This will only serve to push him away and give him a reason to cut you loose.

Then again, you might find yourself wondering about his motives. Maybe there are various elements in your relationship that just don't seem to add up. If that's the case, you need to pay attention to your feelings. There are things going on subconsciously that might be warning you, and you need to examine them carefully.

If you find that he's spending a lot of time with his friends and not much time with you, and that he doesn't want to include you in any of the functions he's going to with his friends, this could be cause to worry. Maybe when the two of you are alone, he tells you how much he loves you, but when you're out in public, he keeps his distance from you – or ignores you entirely. You might find that he's talking about how serious this relationship is and how much you mean to him, and yet, when it comes time to meet his family, it's just not happening.

To develop a strong relationship you need trust. If there isn't trust in the relationship, it's doomed. If you find yourself wondering if you're being a fool, there's something going on that is causing you do doubt him. So it's up to you do decide how you want to proceed.

You can either try to ignore it, or you can confront him. If you don't say anything, you might find that your suspicions were right. Then you'll feel embarrassed that you didn't speak up earlier when you first noticed a problem. On the other hand, if you confront him, it could cause a high problem in your relationship and maybe even end it. This is especially true if it turns out there was nothing going on that warranted your suspicions.

Your best bet is to watch him closely and see if things are really how you perceive. If they are, sit down with him and talk things out. If he gets defensive, watch out! That's a sure sign that something is not right. On the other hand, if he's not following what you're saying, he just may not have realized that things were bothering you – and if he's serious about you, he'll change his patterns.

Above all else, before you do anything, make sure that you don't ruin something without good reason.


About The Author:
Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, "I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married" Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for relationship articles, advice, and programs.

Get Kathy's new book, "Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man." and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com

Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.

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