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The Eight Commandments of Online Dating
Copyright (c) 2013-2023 Kandice Skaggs
Dating and "desperate" may start with the same letter, but they are not synonymous. Never were and never will be. However, people assume them as equal because of the addition of one word: Online. Online (+) dating is often equated to a sense of desperation that is never really the case.
Come on, people just want to immerse themselves in some fun and just because they engage in some online dating site doesn't mean they're hooking up and getting married in three days.
As a matter of fact, a lot of couples these days have exchanged "I dos" with people they met through their laptops. It's actually an upgraded version of courtship, which allows two different people to meet and be the missing pieces in each other's romantic jigsaw puzzle.
Now that you are convinced that online dating is not bad in and of itself, don't jump just right in. Test the waters, but don't dive right into the online love trench just yet. Just as any ocean, the sharks may be lurking around, waiting for their next foolish prey to shoot themselves into their hungry mouths. Here are some tips that you should be seriously considering before jumping into the bandwagon and imagining yourself having your arm-candy three hours after you've read this.
Commandment #1: Honesty, as always, is the best policy. Don't yawn over this. You've heard this one too many times but - it's hard to take heed, isn't it? Honesty takes some serious guts and commitment. Taking the other side of the road by starting on a lie may prove to be hazardous to your online dating life. The minute you say you're some sorority chick with tight abs and a voluptuous silhouette and somebody within that circuit happens to know you - take this word by heart: Viral. Things can be blown out of proportion and there goes your dream of snagging one handsome guy.
Commandment #2: Maintain your anonymity and identity. Last names and credit card numbers, let alone passwords, should be confined to your memory - and never shared with some stranger. Your bank doesn't even know your numbers and PINs by heart so why shove yourself out into the open? It's like offering your hand to one hungry crocodile - you know he's going to bite and will do something nasty, yet you give in. If anything, be on a "first name basis" level first and perhaps swap digits. It could at least be easily changed if he turns out to be a stalker.
Commandment #3: Don't fall for the pity trap and never send money! You might have come across something in your spam that begs you for money because someone is dead sick and almost at the gates of heaven. When an online date lashes out those lines - imagine that email in your spam. You're out there to look for somebody you can hang out with, not some tramp who surprisingly has access to the internet and a profile picture with Ibiza as a backdrop.
Commandment #4: Don't rush. Time is of the essence in the realm of online dating. Take it really nice and slow. It may overwhelm you that very minute when somebody waves over your chat window, but it doesn't mean that you should meet-up in an hour. Relish the virtual friendship first. Allow the excitement to settle down. This gives you enough margin to examine each other's personalities carefully. Maximize your internet hours with your prospect by engaging in a casual chit-chat. There is some degree of transparency to online dating as opposed to personal dating, as the latter breeds some sense of pretentiousness when you observe something in the other that you think you're lacking. For instance, if you see him alighting from a Camaro, you might feel intimated and say you've parked your ride somewhere near the subway. When your actual ride is the subway.
Commandment #5: Meet-up places should be open. It's a little creepy if you're going to be asked by the other to meet up in some random place you barely know. First meetings are meant for places that are abuzz with people who dine and try to have a good time - in a good way. Clubs may be breeding grounds for rowdiness and naughtiness once the alcohol sets in, so opt for the daytime meet-up. If it should be at night - night was never defined as 4AM. Spend a short dinner with your date and take cues from there if this should go on or not.
Commandment #6: Trust your instincts. There's a certain way how gut feel works and this could never be explained in words. She may be saying that she's a fan of rock goth music simply because she wants to please you. Take cues from their words and actions. Be very observant. Be wary when they sound a little too radical and talks about the bombings in Afghanistan like he studied it since eighth grade. Most especially if he's bordering on the extremes and uses terms that you don't even know existed in the vocabulary of Webster. He could be trying to impress you but that dude has gone beyond the line. You don't have to be an alien to be impressive. You can snag a date even if you only shower every three days but your sense of humor is as sexy as Mila Kunis.
Commandment #7: Heed your choices. It's not a matter of being picky; rather, it's all about individual preferences and comfort. There are online dating sites that are actually "customized" to cater to specific groups. These sites are virtual checklists that give you a chance to have a "customized" date. People have differences and this is what these sites address: Acknowledging the diversity of people by bringing them together. You definitely wouldn't want to surprise yourself with a date in his prime - and a quad cane. Whether you have a racial or cultural thing, or you prefer a specific age group - there are dating sites that are tailored to these specifics.
Commandment #8: Take sex out of the picture. Hey - you're looking for a date, not someone you can make adult videos with. Let us first admit the fact that it could end up in that "frolicking over the seashore" scenario but that's just too far - yet. Get to know each other first - again, another essential cliche in the dating game - before hiking up that skirt. That aggression could actually put you in a very delicate situation.
These are just some of the keys in making your online dating a success. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand all of this stuff, so it is presumed that everything is really clear as crystal.
So why just eight commandments? We're too saturated with all the top 10s so let's just stick with a lucky number.
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After ten years of dating, Kandice Skaggs finally met the man of her dreams online. After dating for more than one year, her and her fiancee decided to get married. Kandice suggests that you should set up a profile on as many websites as possible, because you never know where Mr. or Ms. Right might be hanging out online. One online dating site that might appeal to you is: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
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Top-Level Category: Family Articles || Related Categories: Shopping Articles and Society Articles
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