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Here We Go Again

Copyright (c) 2007-2012 , All Rights Reserved

There's something wonderful about having a stable relationship. When you're with someone that you've been with for a while, and you know that they're in it for the long haul, it's an incredible feeling. It makes you aware that you're part of a team and that's something you want to preserve.

Unfortunately, there are people who don't have that kind of relationship. Instead, they have one that's known as "on again, off again." It's almost like some kind of chemical reaction – the two people come together, they react, they explode, they fly apart, they come together again, they react, etc...

If this is the kind of relationship that you're in, you need to figure out what's going on. Are you constantly breaking up so that you can make up because you enjoy the drama? There are people who think that the only way they can keep the relationship fresh and exciting is to make sure that something is happening at all times. These people have either just broken up with their partner or else they've just gotten back together with their partner. They thrive on the excitement and that's the only way they'll be satisfied...for a little while, at least.

Then again, there are those who have strained relationships because they have a fear of commitment. They find themselves wanting to rock the boat every time they feel they are settling down into a groove. For these people, it's all about wanting to make sure they have their freedom. So, whenever things seem to be going great, they need to show that they don't have to be with anyone, and they have a break-up.

The flip side of this is the safety net relationship. In this relationship, the couple comes together, has some good times, but cracks start to appear – serious cracks that can destroy a relationship. Eventually, something happens and the relationship ends. The guy and the girl date other people. However, that can be a little intimidating, and before they know it, they're breaking up with the new people and getting back into the old relationship. It's familiar to them and they feel safe.

Then, the old cracks start to show up, and the relationship begins to fall apart again.

If you find yourself in an "on again, off again" relationship, try to explore what's going on beneath the surface. If it's a commitment issue, you need to be totally honest with your partner so that the two of you can address these problems. However, if you're just with each other because it's more secure than being with someone new, neither of you is doing right by yourself.

Most of us want to be in a stable relationship. No one really enjoys uncertainty about what the following day will bring. When you're with someone that you love, there's a great relief in knowing that you're going to go to bed at night with the relationship secure and you're going to wake up with the relationship secure.

No matter what you think, an "on again, off again" relationship isn't going to endure. You need to find out why you can't get your relationship to stabilize and then decide if you want to take the steps necessary to make it happen. If you're just not that committed to the relationship, it might be time to move on and work on finding someone that you can have a stable relationship with.


About The Author:
Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, "I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married" Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for relationship articles, advice, and programs.

Get Kathy's new book, "Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man." and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com

Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.

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Top-Level Category: Self Improvement Articles

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He Wants You Back
Written by: Kathy Stafford | Distributed: 2007-11-26 | Word Count: 568 | Page Views: 1293 | Votes: 5 | Rating: 2.40
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