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Approaching Men Anywhere
Copyright (c) 2007-2012 Kathy Stafford, All Rights Reserved
Many women are concerned about how to approach men they are interested in meeting in today's society. They want to be proactive, but don't want to appear too eager or needy. So what's the best way handle the situation?
Naturally, there is no one answer to this. What a woman should do is decide how she wants the men to perceive her. If a woman wants a man to be attracted to her, she's going to have to present herself differently than if she just wants to be around a man in a social setting, as a "friend" instead of as a possible partner.
If you're looking for a physical relationship, you can approach a man in just about any manner you want. In terms of being a man, the reason they even allow a woman into their circle is to pursue her. When a man's talking to you, you can bet that he's thinking in terms of a physical connection, rather than anything else if he's brought you into his circle of friends. Naturally, you also need to remember that most men aren't thinking in terms of any kind of long-term commitment at this point.
Then again, there are women who want to be with men and simply enjoy their company. There's nothing wrong with that, but from the very beginning, they need to be clear about their boundaries. If a man makes a pass at you, you need to cut that off immediately, and let them know that's not going to be tolerated. If you're there to simply socialize, make that clear from the outset and there will be a lot less hurt feelings all around.
Remember that how you dress also influences how men are going to perceive you. If you're dressed casually and not provocatively, you'll be treated to a lot less flirting than if you show up in a micro with stiletto heels. Despite the advances made in the way that women are treated in today's society, some things are still going to take time to deal with, and that's one of them.
Keep in mind that you need to make sure that you don't set up boundaries and then cross them yourself. If you make it clear that you only want to socialize and then begin to flirt, you're going to send out mixed signals. You might not think that anything is going on, but the men around you might get the impression that you're available.
What about someone who isn't self-confident?
You can just hang back for a little while and get the lay of the land. See if there's anyone there that you can to get to know. Watch carefully to see if he's attached to anyone else, and if he is, you can wait for him to get a drink and get one at the same time. Or else, if he's in a group, it's okay to go over and stand next to him. If he looks at you, give him a smile.
From there, you can ask him questions about himself. Keep an eye on how he's answering those questions. If his answers are pretty detailed, that shows that he's enjoying being there and talking to you. On the other hand, if he's giving you a lot of "yes" and "no" answers, that can mean that he's really not interested in you, and you might be better off going elsewhere.
A woman with confidence can approach men anywhere. She doesn't need to be a supermodel or a celebrity. Instead, all she needs is having style and self-confidence, and there isn't a man out there who won't want you to be with him in his group.
Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, "I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married" Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for relationship articles, advice, and programs.
Get Kathy's new book, "Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man." and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com
Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.
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