|
Article Directory
|
+ Authors
+ Articles
|
|
|
|
GRIEF: Getting Beyond It Even When You Feel Stuck
Copyright (c) 2006-2012 Steve B. Reed
THE NORMAL PATH OF GRIEF
Grief is the natural emotional response to a significant loss. The loss of a loved one, an important relationship, a pet, a career, a belief, some aspect of one's health, an opportunity, or even a prized possession can trigger a normal grief response. When we go through grief, we can experience a range of related emotions. People may feel shock, regret, anger, sadness, and eventually acceptance in route to resolving grief. We usually work our way through these stages in a period that is proportionate to the loss suffered. In most cases, we eventually move through the process to arrive at a place of acceptance and a readiness to look forward in life.
STUCK IN PAINFUL EMOTIONS
For Pam, this healing pattern was not happening. Instead, she found herself stuck, unable to let go, always looking back at what was lost. She had a history of being stuck in grief. After her divorce, she grieved for 6 years. This time she was stuck grieving the loss of her 2-year relationship with a boyfriend. It had been going on for a year and a half with no end in sight. She felt hopelessness, depression and fear.
CAUGHT IN A TRAP
Pam's plight reminds me of a story about catching monkeys. In some parts of the world, people employ an ingenious method to catch monkeys. They use a large heavy jar, with an opening just big enough for the monkey to squeeze a hand through. In the bottom of the jar, they place a banana as bait. The monkey slips its hand into the bottle and grabs the banana. Then, holding tightly to the banana, it is unable to remove its hand from the jar. It never occurs to the monkey to let go of the banana, so it remains in the trap. Pam was clinging tightly to the memory of a lost love. Unable to let go, trapped.
WANTING OUT
Pam did not want to suffer the way she was. She had been in therapy for years. By now, she was nearly an expert at behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy and the analysis of her problems. She understood her dilemma intellectually, but was helpless to feel better. She was on antidepressant medication, talked to her friends and spent time attending a grief support group. Still her pain persisted. She had come to me with the hope that one of the new forms of treatment that I work with might help light her way out of the darkness of her grief.
TRYING SOMETHING NEW
The first time I saw Pam, she was in the wake of a painful rejection. She would frequently call her old boyfriend, try to get him back but he would coldly reject her effort. She sat in my office emotionally bleeding as though the scab had been freshly knocked off her wound. The only thing I could offer to help ease her suffering was an experimental new treatment. Pam was in such pain she was open to any option. Therefore, I briefly told her about a new type of treatment that is more similar to Chinese Acupuncture than to Freud. It is the REMAP process and it involved her gently tapping a series of acupuncture meridians while she thought about the problem that bothered her. It's a simple yet profound process designed to adjust the body's natural energy system and to produce blood flow changes in the deep regions of the brain as a way of effecting thoughts and emotions. This alternative approach uses an entirely different pathway to heal emotional pain than talk therapy alone. Since Pam had tried all other treatment paths, she was open to the experiment. She began working with the protocol and to her great surprise her level of disturbance dropped 60% in 30 minutes. She left smiling and saying that she could cope with that level of pain.
BEYOND GRIEF
Next week, she reported another call to her ex-boyfriend and another cruel rejection. However, she also reported something new, a decision never to call him again. She also reported no further obsessive thoughts about him and a dramatic improvement in how she felt, virtually no grief.
Such changes are more common than not. By using leading-edge therapies, people are able to free themselves from painful emotions even when they are stuck. The best part is that the changes last. Three months after Pam's treatment, she still reports feeling good.
Steve B. Reed, LPC, LMSW, LMFT is a psychotherapist that specializes in treating trauma and anxiety disorders including social phobia. He treats people at his Richardson, Texas office (Dallas area) and through phone counseling worldwide. You can reach Steve at 972-997-9955 or through his website at: http://www.psychotherapy-center.com
copyright 1998-2006, Steve B. Reed
|
Follow "The Phantom Writers" on Twitter
(@phantomwriters)
to be notified when new articles are made available.
VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE
Needs Work >>
0 -
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5
<< Excellent Article
Tell our authors what you think about their article.
|
Top-Level Category: Health and Wellness Articles
10 Most Recent Articles Written by Steve B. Reed
What is EFT-Emotional Freedom Techniques
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-12-19 |
Word Count: 962 |
Page Views: 1114
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 3.20
What is EFT and What Issues Does it Help? EFT (Emotional Freedom
Techniques) is a brilliant yet simple method for easing emotional
pain. It is both eloquent and effective for a wide range of
emotional distress. The Emotional Freedom Techniques method is
clinically effective in treating trauma, abuse, panic, anxiety,
fears, phobias, mild depression...
TAMING TRAUMA with EMDR-Taking the Pain Out of Painful Experiences
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-12-05 |
Word Count: 962 |
Page Views: 1485
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.86
Janis has not felt comfortable on a date since suffering a
violent rape by an intruder who held her at knifepoint,
threatening her life. Driving has been difficult for Sharon ever
since her near fatal car wreck. When Ann's husband touches her,
the pleasure response she desires is blocked by intrusive
memories of her stepfather molesting her as a child.
PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -What It Is and What Can Help
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-11-21 |
Word Count: 730 |
Page Views: 3148
| Votes: 17 |
Rating: 1.65
>Causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: PTSD results from
a person experiencing an overwhelmingly stressful event that
exceeds their coping capacity. We typically associate PTSD with
catastrophic events such as war, natural disasters or nearly
losing one's life.
Men Who Have Affairs and How to Recover From Them
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-11-07 |
Word Count: 841 |
Page Views: 1273
| Votes: 13 |
Rating: 2.62
Imagine that you have just found out that your man, the love of
your life is having an affair. How would you feel? How would
you deal with this situation?
Lack of Love - Lies Beneath Many of Life's Problems
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-09-13 |
Word Count: 724 |
Page Views: 2807
| Votes: 12 |
Rating: 3.33
Much of Jill's self-defeating behavior serves to recreate the
type of environment she lived through. Like a magnet, she finds
herself drawn to the familiar behaviors and feelings of her
earliest years. Jill is now aware of her tendency to fall in
love with men who are emotionally or physically absent.
How To Choose A Therapist: 8 Secrets to Success
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-08-24 |
Word Count: 776 |
Page Views: 1066
| Votes: 13 |
Rating: 2.54
Finding a good psychotherapist can be a daunting task for the
average person. Like in most professions, you probably realize
that not all therapists are created equally. So if you are
thinking about seeking help, how can you tell if the person you
are considering working with is excellent, average or virtually
ineffective? As a therapist with over 30 years experience in the
helping profession, here is what I would advise a close friend or
family member to consider.
Anxiety -- Is It a Problem for You? 7 questions provide the answer
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-07-19 |
Word Count: 869 |
Page Views: 1909
| Votes: 15 |
Rating: 2.93
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is "one of the most common
anxiety problems seen in general medical practices." Physicians
are likely to see between 2.8% and 8.5% of their patients
suffering from this type of anxiety, according to a national
survey (1).
Alone In the Crowd: How to Overcome Urban Isolation
Written by: Steve B. Reed |
Distributed: 2006-07-06 |
Word Count: 791 |
Page Views: 1398
| Votes: 13 |
Rating: 3.00
The pain of loneliness never knew a stranger. It is the constant
companion of many a solitary soul. In this massive urban sprawl,
the shadow of isolation is upon countless individuals. Most of us
have felt the chill of loneliness. Some people even resign
themselves to a life-style of being alone. With so many people
around, it is ironic that connecting has become so difficult.
There are two key reasons this. One reason is sociological and
the other psychological.
All of Author's Articles on this site: Steve B. Reed Articles
Most Recent "Health And Wellness" Articles
The Powerful Antioxidant You Cannot Eat Or Drink
Written by: Nate Rifkin |
Distributed: 2011-07-20 |
Word Count: 499 |
Page Views: 592
There's no need to eat or drink anything to activate your
body's powerful antioxidant to prevent free radical damage.
You'll end up healthier inside and looking better on the outside
as well.
3 Bacterial Vaginosis Remedies You Can Start Using Today
Written by: Louise Endago |
Distributed: 2011-07-20 |
Word Count: 867 |
Page Views: 647
Very few women are successful at treating bacterial
vaginosis using one treatment alone. The secret lies in
using a combination of treatments that complement one
another. In this article you will discover 3 such remedies
that give excellent results.
Encouraging Healthy Children with Outdoor Play Sets and Activities
Written by: Giana Briggs |
Distributed: 2011-03-17 |
Word Count: 410 |
Page Views: 868
Having a play set in your backyard can be a great way to get
your child off the couch and out into the fresh air. With
childhood obesity on the rise, we need to do what we can as
parents to get our children active and enjoying playing and
interacting with each other children again. Being able to go
out in the yard and have something to do is just one small
step in the right direction.
How to Recognize Anxiety in Children and Adolescents
Written by: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2010-12-28 |
Word Count: 836 |
Page Views: 919
Problems with a too-high level anxiety can start in
childhood with children and adolescents worrying to a
greater extent than their peers about all sorts of things.
Some behaviors are an indication of a fussy and over tidy
child. When we go just a little bit over fussiness and we
have entered the realm of an anxiety disorder.
How to Tell if You Have Anxiety Disorder
Written by: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2010-12-23 |
Word Count: 1093 |
Page Views: 913
If you're someone who can never earn enough or have enough
money to relax about it, and to enjoy spending it, you may
have underlying anxiety problems that you haven't had to
face, or you haven't wanted to face.
How to Tell the Difference Between Anxiety and Normal Worry
Written by: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2010-12-21 |
Word Count: 979 |
Page Views: 777
Anxiety is a normal feeling people experience when faced
with threat, danger or stress. Feeling anxious can sometimes
be a good thing. Occasional anxiety is part of normal life.
However, for some people anxiety is a constant factor in
their lives. When a person has anxiety problems, it
interferes with their ability to function normally on a
daily basis. Anxiety disorder can cause people to feel
intense, long-lasting fear or worry, in addition to other
symptoms.
How to Treat Your Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Written by: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2010-12-16 |
Word Count: 742 |
Page Views: 897
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 2.50
Next to Depression, one of the most common disorders which
affects an estimated 2.4 million people in America alone, is
anxiety disorder. Anxiety can manifest as a generalized
anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety and agoraphobia.
Anxiety disorder can be mild or so totally disabling that
the person is confined to her or his home. All forms of
anxiety can be extremely frightening to those who experience
it frequently, but many individuals have found comfort in
the fact that anxiety disorders can be treated.
Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attacks: How Cognitive Behavior Therapy Can Help You
Written by: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2010-12-09 |
Word Count: 748 |
Page Views: 872
In your journey to conquer anxiety and to eliminate panic
attacks from your day-to-day life, no one approach will be
totally right, but Cognitive Behavior Therapy can be a very
powerful part of your recovery. In this short article, I
want to explore what's involved in Cognitive Behavior
Therapy, so that you can make a decision whether or not
you'd like to explore it with your therapist.
Losing Weight - The Addiction of Comfort Food
Written by: Larry Tobin |
Distributed: 2010-11-04 |
Word Count: 863 |
Page Views: 1289
| Votes: 1 |
Rating: 0.00
Its very name is appealing - comfort food. What could be
more wonderful than a food that helps us feel better? Almost
everyone can name something that they eat when they're just
feeling sour or sad. Of course, we know that food can't be
the solution to our problems, especially the problem of
trying to lose weight and keep it off. So why do we find
ourselves trapped in the eat/feel better/feel worse/eat some
more cycle?
Understanding the Roles of Respite Caregivers for Seniors
Written by: Bob Fischer |
Distributed: 2010-11-02 |
Word Count: 582 |
Page Views: 974
Caregivers for seniors are typically paid providers but they
may also be volunteers from a government or nonprofit
organization. Where care is being provided in the home there
is often a mix of formal and informal care provided. And the
trend is towards using more formal care since, unlike the
past, more informal respite caregivers are employed. Read
on.
Most Viewed "Health And Wellness" Articles
Bone Density and Your Well Being
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-06-15 |
Word Count: 685 |
Page Views: 47775
| Votes: 39 |
Rating: 2.69
We spend a lot of time and energy thinking of ways to reduce our
weight but we need to think about the bones that form the basic
structure of the very same body. Bone density is an important
factor in helping us stay young and on our toes. Bone density
needs to be checked as we age and if found low, adequate measures
need to be taken to improve it.
Losing Weight Without Gaining Stretch Marks
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-12-11 |
Word Count: 579 |
Page Views: 15081
| Votes: 37 |
Rating: 2.78
Few things can make us as elated as seeing the pounds melt way
through our efforts of eating less and exercising more. We gain
new confidence and vitality as we watch our waistlines reappear
and become reacquainted with the tops of our feet. But as the
weight falls away we can be plagued by a new assault - one we did
not see coming - stretch marks.
President Given the Cure for Herpes and Cold Sores ?
Written by: James Kaylon McIntyre |
Distributed: 2006-11-09 |
Word Count: 404 |
Page Views: 13177
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 2.57
Viraway was founded by a man who is in his 70s today. As a Young
man he suffered from acute cold sores. The discomfort was so
severe that he thought they would never go away. A native
American Indian gave him a tribal mixture of herbs and told him
that this mixture would eliminate the cold sores with in two
weeks...
Oyster Extract Improves Men's Sexual Health
Written by: Stephen Kavanagh |
Distributed: 2008-06-26 |
Word Count: 851 |
Page Views: 12427
| Votes: 38 |
Rating: 3.45
Description of the benefits of taking oyster extract powder for
good sexual health in men and women. Details of the features and
benefits, the different brands, the alternatives and advice on
choosing the right oyster extract product.
Is Retinol Good for Your Skin?
Written by: Craig Elliott |
Distributed: 2007-10-04 |
Word Count: 576 |
Page Views: 11133
| Votes: 26 |
Rating: 2.62
These days, whether you have wrinkles or you are certain that you
will get them in the near future, it is hard to ignore the
hundreds of new anti aging products on the market. With retinol
and AHAs, BHAs and vitamins, it's hard to tell which products
are actually going to work and which ones are will not. While a
lot of the success rate depends on the unique qualities of your
skin, there are scientific studies that have shed light some of
the more popular skin treatments.
Two years after 60 Minutes - Is Authentic Hoodia Available?
Written by: Dan Nessel |
Distributed: 2006-10-25 |
Word Count: 733 |
Page Views: 11010
| Votes: 9 |
Rating: 3.22
In November of 2004, 60 Minutes praised Hoodia Gordonii for its
ability to suppress appetite. Within days of the segement,
everyone and their mother were claiming to have "real" hoodia
for sale. The question remains - is any authenic Hoodia
available?
Causes for Yellow or Dark Brown Poop - Symptoms of Healthy Poop - Dr Oz's Tips to Diagnosis Yourself and Self Help
Written by: John Khu |
Distributed: 2009-12-29 |
Word Count: 545 |
Page Views: 9064
| Votes: 15 |
Rating: 2.27
Now the question arises how to detox your body? Body toxins
are accumulated due to improper food consumption; sedentary
lifestyle also causes digestion problem and heavy metal
toxins to accumulate in our body. Therefore, in order to
avoid bowel problem, your body needs to heavy metal detox.
Flax Oil And Gynecomastia
Written by: Will Brink |
Distributed: 2006-06-06 |
Word Count: 678 |
Page Views: 8680
| Votes: 19 |
Rating: 2.53
Q: Dear Will, I remember in your book "Priming the Anabolic
Environment" you recommended flax oil as a possible way to treat
gynecomastia or "bitch tits" in men and I know you recommend flax
oil losing fat and general health also. Would flax have equal
benefits for athletic women like me who lift weights and do you
still think it helps with gyno?
14 Causes of Constipation
Written by: Howard Richman |
Distributed: 2008-12-02 |
Word Count: 1642 |
Page Views: 8538
| Votes: 9 |
Rating: 3.00
For people who know all about drinking liquids and eating fiber
but still have never been able to break free of their curse of
constipation, this article offers many other considerations that
will help the reader find solutions to lifelong constipation.
How to Force Your Body To Melt Fat Like Butter In A Microwave
Written by: Robert Kokoska |
Distributed: 2008-04-08 |
Word Count: 613 |
Page Views: 7421
| Votes: 22 |
Rating: 2.77
There are a couple of very simple changes you can make to the way
you eat that will force your body to become a fat burning furnace
and cause you to easily drop your unwanted pounds day after day.
Highest Ranked "Health And Wellness" Articles
The Role of Antioxidants in Good Health And Healthy Living
Written by: Cheryll Rice |
Distributed: 2008-01-24 |
Word Count: 718 |
Page Views: 1344
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 4.20
Everyone has heard about the importance of a balanced diet for
maintaining good health. Similarly, everyone knows that they
should be getting exercise - or at the very least adding more
activity into their days. Getting a good night's sleep is
essential - without it, you'll find that your immune system
starts to slack off a bit and you put yourself at a greater risk
for catching a cold or coming down with the flu. We all know what
we should be doing, but let's be honest: we don't do it...
What Makes Tea So Effective At Preventing Heart Disease?
Written by: Jon M. Stout |
Distributed: 2007-02-02 |
Word Count: 812 |
Page Views: 1543
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 4.00
Many bodies of research have shown that tea is effective at
preventing heart disease in several ways. Tea prevents the
oxidation of LDL cholesterol into plaque, the hard substance that
clogs our arteries, making us more susceptible to heart attacks
and strokes. Tea is also thought to have an anti-inflammatory
effect, which helps the heart in its overall function.
Which Full Face CPAP Mask is Best for You?
Written by: Chris Vasta |
Distributed: 2009-09-01 |
Word Count: 690 |
Page Views: 3641
| Votes: 10 |
Rating: 4.00
If you've been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, you are
undoubtedly trying to narrow the choice of masks. If your
mouth opens during sleep, one option would be full face CPAP
masks. The full face CPAP mask is used to deliver pressure
through both the nose and mouth. Trying to decide which full
face CPAP mask to use can be complex and expensive. The
number of mask options available is confounding. Based upon
comfort, fit, good seal, and durability, we recommend the
following three full face CPAP masks.
Neurotransmitter Testing: How It Help Depression, Anxiety and More
Written by: Anne Arthur |
Distributed: 2006-08-03 |
Word Count: 663 |
Page Views: 2211
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.86
Millions of people suffer from bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic
attacks, depression and ADD/ADHD without a known cause. If you or
someone you know suffers from anxiety, bipolar disorder,
depression, mania, ADD/ADHD or even panic attacks, you owe it to
you to find the real cause of your problem. There are many
natural treatments available that effectively combat these
diseases.
Concocting the Perfect Body Detox Plan
Written by: John Khu |
Distributed: 2009-04-21 |
Word Count: 588 |
Page Views: 1236
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.86
If you have recently made a committed resolve to stick to a body
detox program, then it is best to get very well prepared for it.
Otherwise, you might catch yourself doing some last-minute
enjoyment and drowning yourself in your favorite food and drinks.
Want To Try Body Detox?
Written by: John Khu |
Distributed: 2009-08-25 |
Word Count: 595 |
Page Views: 978
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.86
Ever since more and more people became aware of the harmful
effects of improper diet and toxins to the body, body
detoxification also became very popular. Although it is a
fact that the body can detoxify by itself, it is also a fact
that without the initiative of a person's mind to reinforce
more action aside from the organs' functions, then the
detoxification process will take a long time, or worse, not
work at all.
Heavier Weight Sometimes Equals Smaller Jeans
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2007-02-07 |
Word Count: 1005 |
Page Views: 1592
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 3.83
A concept many women sometimes have difficulty understanding is
that a smaller weight does not always indicate a fitter body.
Muscle mass is more dense than fat tissue. This means two women
of the same height, weight, skeletal structure and body type may
look drastically different.
Get a Great Night's Sleep
Written by: George Esser |
Distributed: 2007-05-15 |
Word Count: 597 |
Page Views: 1312
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 3.83
Reasons why we need magnesium supplements to get a great night's
sleep. Research points to reduced restless leg syndrome and other
sleep disorders.
Colon Cancer: Risks and Prevention
Written by: Abel Travers |
Distributed: 2007-12-13 |
Word Count: 785 |
Page Views: 1096
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 3.80
Cancer: it's not a word that anyone really wants to hear. While
not necessarily a death sentence, cancer is an illness that does
have a high mortality rate depending on where in the body it
strikes. Read on as we examine what can be done to head-off Colon
Cancer, the third most common cancer.
A Comparison of Tattoo Removal Methods: Tattoo Removal Skin Peels Vs Tattoo Removal Creams Vs Tattoo Removal Using DermaBrasion
Written by: Abe Granberry |
Distributed: 2009-09-30 |
Word Count: 1821 |
Page Views: 2409
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 3.79
A friend and I, along with 3 other buddies, decided to try
an experiment to remove tattoos that we have all had for
many years. Over time we just decided we no longer liked
what we saw on our arms, shoulders and chest so we decided
to test all the varieties of tattoo removal except Laser
because none of us could afford the price, plus we wanted to
see for ourselves if the other products actually worked or
were just marketing hype.
|
|
|
Article Reprint Rights
|

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License
You are not required to show the creative commons license notice when you reprint this work.
|
|
Article Statistics
|
Word Count: 741
Total Views: 1108
Views This Month: 13
Views Last Month: 16
Article Rating: 2.29 of 5
Votes Cast: 7
Author Overall Stats:
Times Viewed Overall: 15303
Author Rating: 2.58 of 5
Votes Cast Overall: 102
More Articles By Author:
Articles On This Website
Article Title Search:
Widow Search
Right Blinker
Google
Yahoo!
Zuula
Bing
Cuil
Last Distribution Date:
2006-08-03 10:12:00
|
|
|