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Your Marriage Can Be Saved, If You Are The Source Of The Communication Problems
Copyright (c) 2009-2010 Donny Prentice
The leading cause of divorce in the United States today is marriage - always has been, and always will be. But joking aside, one of the leading causes of divorce is the unwillingness to communicate or listen to one another.
After a tough day with the kids or a tight financial pay period, people begin to get stressed out. Couples that are going to survive are those who are willing to talk to their spouse and console their fears and concerns.
Those who are unwilling to discuss the matters that stress out the other party, often find their marriage on the road to ruin.
If you are the one who is unwilling to listen to your significant other, the fact that you are reading this article indicates that you still have a desire to repair what ails your marriage and to save it from the perils of divorce.
If the other party is the one who has shut you out of the communication cycle, there is not much you will be able to do, if they remain steadfast in their resolve to shut you out of their lives.
No marriage can survive a lack of communication - pure and simple.
You and your significant other must be able to communicate with one another, and you must be willing to console one another during times of stress.
It is just human nature. Marriage is about more than just the human touch, but also the human experience - to share our lives with someone who is able to acknowledge our importance in their lives. We need the human touch, but we also need the comfort of another who cares about us, as much as we care about them.
People deal with stressful situations differently. Some strike out in rage, while others metaphorically curl up into a ball, in an effort to escape the troubles of the world.
Those are two extremes of the human condition, both of which are unhealthy in a relationship.
If it is you that has cut off your spouse to the needed communication to maintain a healthy relationship, then it is up to you to fix your marriage, to open yourself up to being the person your significant other needs you to be.
More valuable than money and jewels, open and committed communication is the essential element that a marriage needs to remain strong and healthy.
In fact, open communication is just one part of the scenario. More than open communication, people need you to be willing and able to listen to their worries and fears.
Sometimes the best form of communication will involve you keeping your mouth shut, and being the "interested ear" that your significant other needs to be able to feel consoled and important to you.
The greatest gift you will be able to give others is the willingness to "listen".
For most people on the planet, the most important sound they want to hear is the sound of their own voice. If you open your mouth to interject, then you are telling the other person that want to be more important than they are, and it is often a sure way to ruin the perfect experience.
If you can simply sit and listen to your significant other say what is on his or her mind, without allowing yourself to interrupt or interject your own opinion, then you will win the heart and soul of the person sitting next to you or across the table.
It is kind of funny, but sometimes when we sit to talk to someone, they control the entire conversation, not allowing us to add to the conversation. Yet, many of those people will leave the experience convinced that you are the most interesting person they had met in some time, although you never got a word in edgewise.
If you look back to when you dated your spouse, if you think back to the good times, you might just realize that what I say is true. The only thing that has changed between when you fell in love and now, is that now, one of you has stopped participating in the discussion - the willingness to give the other what they want and need in the conversation.
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Donny Prentice writes about divorce and relationships. Most marriages do not need to end in divorce. But, if your marriage cannot be saved, then please prepare yourself to survive the divorce process with your finances and child custody arrangements in your favor or on equal footing with your spouse. If you are looking for advice to help you through the divorce process, our website provides helpful advice for both men and women, facing divorce: http://www.divorcethinktank.com/blog/
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