Training for Book Authors
|
|
Other Resources for Book Authors & Publishers
|
|
Please Support Our Advertisers
|
|
|
|
|
How to Persuade Without Really Trying
Copyright (c) 2010-2023 Judy Murdoch
Recently, the owner of a consulting practice contacted me. In the email, she said that she needed an easier, more predictable way to find ideal prospects.
She had already tried a lot of different things but nothing worked.
So we set up a meeting so I could learn more about her situation and whether I could help.
As we spoke during the meeting, it became clear to me that, yes, I could help this business owner. I felt quite certain of this.
But when it was my turn to tell her what I recommended things bogged down. It was very painful because I was doing my best to communicate "Yes, I can help you," and the person looking for help kept asking, "But what exactly are you going to do?"
When I was in the middle of this I thought "Please, just tell me how you need me to say what you need to hear so you'll understand that I can give you what you want."
I felt like there was some magic word or phrase that if I could just figure out what it was it would be like pressing the "Easy Button," and we'd come to an agreement and be done with it.
============================ What the REAL Problem Was ============================
Lucky me I had a wise friend with whom I could talk over this situation. After listening for a few minutes, he said, "You know when you start getting that frantic feeling that you're not in control and you're grasping at what to do? That's because you've lost connection with your heart's guidance."
This annoyed me because I was actually enjoying my grievance airing and I was hoping to complain more about how hard some prospects are to convince."
But complaining wasn't going to help me help this potential client.
I asked my friend to tell me a little more about what he meant. What he told me was this:
When our focus is on looking to others to get what we're needing although it may seem like we're focusing on the other person, it's actually about us getting our own needs met.
Now there's nothing wrong with having needs. I'm human, you're human, we all need encouragement, reassurance, and feedback.
The problem occurs when we look to the people who are coming to us for help to meet those needs.
We've all been in a situation in which we felt that the person selling was in it for themselves..it was about their need to make a sale. Whether or not they provided what we, their prospect was needing was almost incidental.
============================ What DOES Work? ============================
So, someone contacts you and they have a problem they're hoping you can help them with. They're frustrated, perhaps feeling a little vulnerable about their situation.
And here you are wanting to help but feeling inept because you're not helping them. What do you do with those feelings of insecurity and uncertainty?
My friend suggested that I bring those feelings into my heart and listen for an answer.
While I was on the phone with a prospective client? Yep, when you're in the middle of a conversation and you're stuck for an answer.
I realized that one reason I had become stuck was I had some questions that I had dismissed as not being important but in fact, these were important questions. I needed the answers to make a recommendation.
I called the client and asked my questions and listened to her answers and when she asked me again, how I could help, I got quiet and listened to what my heart was telling me and when I told her I did from a place of quiet certainty that this was what her practice needed.
It was an entirely different call. I felt "complete" when the call ended. That we both knew what the next step was going to be.
============================ Keys to Persuading without Trying ============================
First a small confession: these conversations are not about persuading. When someone calls you about your services, they want you to help them.
If you know you can help them, then your job is to listen with empathy. When the other person feels completely heard and understood, they feel safe enough to say "yes" to the next step.
Key #1 Know when you're flailing
The first step to doing anything is to be aware that you're having a problem. It's not fun but you can't take the next step to solving a problem unless you can acknowledge "whoa this isn't working."
Key #2 Pause
It may be enough to say, "Give me a moment here." If you need to you can say, "Hey, something just came up, can I call you back in five minutes."
I want to acknowledge that disengaging is probably the hardest part because most of us have learned to "bull through" situations like this.
But it's worth learning to pause because it's what you need to do so you can actually help the person who has come to you.
Key #3 Listen to what your heart is telling you
When I say "heart" I mean heart. My own heart actually does speak to me. And I personally believe that a Divine intelligence speaks through my heart.
Some people say they "listen to their gut" or "their intuition." An instructor of mine used to say his "big toe" was the source of his inner wisdom.
It doesn't matter what you call what you listen to. What does matter is that you listen to the voice that is clear, calm, and kind.
Key #4 Follow your heart's guidance
This can be hard...especially when what you hear feels irrelevant to the problem-solving track you've been following.
In the situation I've been describing, the guidance I got was, "Ask her what prompted her to call you in the first place." This didn't feel like a constructive question to me. I felt our discussion was past that point.
But my friend said, "If you believe your heart is giving you wise guidance why would you reject that guidance?"
So when I called the prospective client back that was the question I asked and her answer was tremendously helpful. I ended up making an entirely different recommendation than I originally intended.
============================ Bottom Line ============================
It's easy to get hooked into looking to the person we're trying to influence for the "key" to what we need to say and do.
The problem is instead of giving them a sense of ease and relief about their problem (why they came to us to begin with), we add to their burden making them feel (subtly) responsible for meeting our needs.
The solution is to looking into your own heart for guidance around the next step for moving forward in the business relationship.
When you look to your heart, you take the focus off your own needs and return your attention to being in service to your customers. Which is why we become business owners in the first place.
Judy Murdoch helps small business owners create low-cost, effective marketing campaigns using word-of-mouth referrals, guerrilla marketing activities, and selected strategic alliances. To download a free copy of the workbook, "Where Does it Hurt? Marketing Solutions to the problems that Drive Your Customers Crazy!" go to http://www.judymurdoch.com/workbook.htm
You can contact Judy at 303-475-2015 or judy@judymurdoch.com
|
VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE
Needs Work >>
0 -
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5
<< Excellent Article
Tell our authors what you think about their article.
|
Top-Level Category: Business Offline Articles || Related Categories: Business Online Articles and Career Articles
10 Most Recent Articles Written by Judy Murdoch
Blog Posts Versus Email - Which is Better for Marketing?
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-11-04 |
Word Count: 932 |
Page Views: 4821
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
Up until fairly recently, when you wanted to keep in touch
with customers and prospects, you used email to send
periodic messages to people who opted-in to receive your
mailings. People are suggesting that with the rise of
blogging, that the death knell of email is upon us. This
article will consider the demise of opt-in email as the best
way to communicate with your customers.
Is This Such A Thing As An Info Product in a Day?
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-11-02 |
Word Count: 1028 |
Page Views: 5196
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
There are lots of books and programs promising you that you
can "create a product in a day." You can create a product
that you can sell to customers in the time it takes to, say,
get your car washed, go to the post office, get through your
email, and fix dinner. How totally cool would that be?
Why Ker-chunk Needs to Proceed Ker-ching
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-08-03 |
Word Count: 1010 |
Page Views: 4366
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
This morning I was working with a client who was feeling
some frustration around defining the niche for their
business: "Why is picking a niche so hard?" my client
wanted to know.
Guerrilla Marketing: About Love Not War
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-07-29 |
Word Count: 1061 |
Page Views: 5305
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.14
"Guerrilla Marketing" is a term coined by Jay Conrad
Levinson in his 1984 book: Guerrilla Marketing: Secrets for
Making Big Profits for Your Small Business. The term is a
spin on "Guerrilla Warfare," war tactics used by small,
often indigenous armies fighting larger, better equipped
invaders.
Dealing with Uncertainty in Marketing
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-07-27 |
Word Count: 929 |
Page Views: 4572
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.20
So often a business owner will say to me that they "hate"
marketing. If you are a small business owner who "hates"
marketing or even feels a sense of uneasiness when you
contemplate marketing for your business, this article is
dedicated to you.
What Marketing Do You REALLY Need Right Now?
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-04-22 |
Word Count: 1224 |
Page Views: 4574
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
Many small business owners I talk to always seem to be
playing catch up when it comes to their marketing. Last week
when I told a small business owner that she was doing a good
job with her marketing, she replied "Oh, but I have so much
to do!" in an apologetic tone. Listening to her I felt sad.
I mean who the heck laid down these requirements that a
small business has to have so much in place so fast?
Keys to Attracting Win-Win Strategic Alliances
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-04-20 |
Word Count: 908 |
Page Views: 4748
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.20
The most potent marketing strategy for any small business
owner is not a great website, or lots of Facebook friends,
or a killer networking plan. The marketing strategy that
will get you faster and farther than anything else put
together is developing strategic alliances with other
businesses so you can promote each others products and
services.
How Numbers Matter in Marketing
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-01-14 |
Word Count: 1388 |
Page Views: 3408
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 1.50
I typically write a lot more about the "human side of
marketing," because I think topics like trust, sincerity,
and emotions get overlooked in most marketing advice
discussions. And no matter how clever your copy and fail
safe your system, neglect trust building and you will have
to work twice as hard at your marketing for half the
results. But that doesn't mean you can ignore the numbers
side of marketing. In this article I talk about why numbers
are important and how to make them work in your marketing.
Why Marketing for Services Stinks (and How to Make Sure Yours Doesn't)
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2010-01-12 |
Word Count: 1386 |
Page Views: 3623
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
One of the greatest challenges of doing business in a
"knowledge economy" is selling what is intangible. If you
are a coach, a consultant, an alternative health
practitioner, or any other business owner who is selling a
service, you know how difficult it is to come up with an
effective message that gets across why someone should hire
you...
Using The Moment of Truth to Get Prospects Attention
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2009-12-30 |
Word Count: 940 |
Page Views: 3468
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.75
The best message in the world will fail if prospects read it
out of context. If prospects see your message at a time when
they aren't concerned with the problem your product solves,
they will ignore it. Your message might as well be
invisible. Context is about making sure prospects see your
message at the "moment of truth": the time when they are
most aware of their problem and looking for solutions.
All of Author's Articles on this site: Judy Murdoch Articles
Most Recent "Business Offline" Articles
How To Build a Strong and Powerful Business During a Recession
Written by: Trey McMartin |
Distributed: 2011-11-10 |
Word Count: 987 |
Page Views: 6519
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 0.83
During a recession, most business owners pull the reins on
advertising budgets, fearful of what tomorrow might bring...
Those who remain fearful have forgotten what made them the
success they are today... They have forgotten that they have
a God-given talent to overcome the incredible obstacles in
their paths.
SEO Lessons from Local Businesses
Written by: Trey McMartin |
Distributed: 2011-11-09 |
Word Count: 945 |
Page Views: 6620
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
More than once in the six years that I have been providing
SEO services for websites, I have had the opportunity to
discuss with individual business owners their search engine
optimization needs. Now and again, I run across an
individual business owner who is quick to say that SEO is
absolutely worthless. When confronted with such an absolute
statement, I like to press for details. It has been my
experience that people who speak in negative absolutes will
have a horror story to share.
Where Will FDA Target Next? What IVD Manufacturers Should Know Before Their Next FDA Audit
Written by: Norm Howe |
Distributed: 2011-09-12 |
Word Count: 706 |
Page Views: 537
Medical device manufacturers are always interested in knowing
what FDA's next area of focus will be. Well, if you're an In
Vitro Diagnostic manufacturer you might review your measurement
systems.
Online Fax - 10 Reasons To Get An Online Fax Service
Written by: Titus Hoskins |
Distributed: 2011-09-12 |
Word Count: 560 |
Page Views: 542
Online faxing is the new more modern way to fax. If you or your
company is not using an online fax service, here are 10 good
reasons why you should get it.
Best Effort Essential for the Job Interview
Written by: Barbara Wulf MS, ACC, CPCC |
Distributed: 2011-07-30 |
Word Count: 676 |
Page Views: 632
Interviewing will determine if you are the right person for the
job. These tips will help you make the job interview a success.
Go Green With Your Career Search
Written by: Barbara Wulf MS, ACC, CPCC |
Distributed: 2011-07-28 |
Word Count: 636 |
Page Views: 5383
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.50
Many of the qualities of green living, like recycling and
sustainability, can apply to a career search, even if the
career is not directly associated with green industries.
ReCareer in the Second-half of Life
Written by: Barbara Wulf MS, ACC, CPCC |
Distributed: 2011-07-26 |
Word Count: 525 |
Page Views: 5381
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 1.20
Many of us worked the first half of our life to "fit" the
job description. ReCareering is about finding the right fit,
being selective, being creative, being fulfilled and being
intentional about how you spend your time.
Up in the Air
Written by: Barbara Wulf MS, ACC, CPCC |
Distributed: 2011-07-24 |
Word Count: 678 |
Page Views: 598
When looking for work or changing careers, go beyond researching
on the internet and reading articles. Find out how you can learn
from the art of listening and having a conversation.
Salon and Spa Owners: Which Monk Are You?
Written by: Dan Lok |
Distributed: 2011-07-05 |
Word Count: 477 |
Page Views: 6154
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.00
Too many salon and spa owners are carrying around a lot
hurts, regrets, guilt, past failures and fears about the
future. But no one is forcing you to carry these emotional
rocks, so put that sack down!
The Single Most Profitable Day You Spend on Your Spa or Salon!
Written by: Dan Lok |
Distributed: 2011-06-30 |
Word Count: 470 |
Page Views: 6471
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.20
Salon and spa owners need to combine their marketing plan
with marketing systems. A marketing calendar plans out
strategies for a year, and is instrumental to the success of
your spa or salon.
Most Viewed "Business Offline" Articles
How To Write A 300 Page Book In Four Months
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-07-15 |
Word Count: 821 |
Page Views: 40065
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.38
There's a lot of hoopla about becoming an author of your very
own business book. The promise of fame and fortune is very
alluring. Yet your book remains perpetually 'about to be'
written. Meanwhile your business has ground to a halt. Hmmm...
might there be a better way to get a book written?
The Best Marketing Book I've Ever Read (You'll Be Surprised)
Written by: Judy Murdoch |
Distributed: 2007-05-09 |
Word Count: 1522 |
Page Views: 37187
| Votes: 17 |
Rating: 3.18
From time to time someone asks me to recommend marketing books.
Here's one of my favorite marketing books that always surprises
people. Curious? Read on.
The Bizarre History Of The HOLLYWOOD Sign
Written by: Morris Timlen |
Distributed: 2008-11-05 |
Word Count: 1211 |
Page Views: 34756
| Votes: 30 |
Rating: 2.70
The most famous sign in the history of mankind is the one that
graces the side of the hill above Hollywood, California. As
famous a landmark as the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio De
Janeiro, the Eiffel Tower in Paris France, the Great Pyramid of
Giza in Egypt, The Church of the Savior on Blood in Saint
Petersburg Russia, and the Statue Of Liberty in New York City,
the Hollywood sign is known around the world as the symbol of the
American movie industry.
What Does It Take To Be A Successful Salesman?
Written by: Casey Moher |
Distributed: 2008-08-05 |
Word Count: 930 |
Page Views: 27396
| Votes: 84 |
Rating: 3.17
In the course of my average workweek, I meet people who tell me
that they have no sales experience, and very literally, many
will tell me that they could not sell if their lives depended on
it. Do you fit into this mold? Do you seriously believe that you
can sell me on the idea that you cannot sell things?
The Future of the Office Photocopier Industry
Written by: Jennifer Robinson |
Distributed: 2010-07-29 |
Word Count: 635 |
Page Views: 15768
| Votes: 39 |
Rating: 2.00
Since Xerox first invented and sold the first commercial
photocopy machine companies and organisations have paid for
use of the machine on a cost per copy basis. This has
traditionally included full maintainance and toner supplied
under a service agreement. In-fact the office photocopier is
unique in the fact its one of the only pieces of equipment
that comes without a warranty from new. But photocopier
expert Online Connect UK claim all that is about to change.
Never Write A 'Thank You' Letter Again
Written by: Perry Maisin |
Distributed: 2008-08-12 |
Word Count: 971 |
Page Views: 14833
| Votes: 22 |
Rating: 2.09
When I was in graduate school, I had a friend who interviewed at
fortune 500 companies and succeeded at landing a great job. One
day, I saw him sitting in the student union with a stack of
cards. The cards said 'thank you'. He opened each card and
signed his name. The inside of the card was blank. I asked him
what he was doing and he told me that it was important to send a
'thank you' to every person you interviewed with. He believed
that that was the difference between getting the job and being
passed over.
Selecting Between a 401(k) And 403(b) For a Nonprofit
Written by: Daniel Lamaute |
Distributed: 2007-10-11 |
Word Count: 333 |
Page Views: 14494
| Votes: 22 |
Rating: 2.27
Newly released IRS regulations impose several new requirements
and fiduciary responsibilities on employers with 403(b) plans.
While the regulations generally don't take effect until January
1, 2009, there are some provisions that apply sooner.
Conducting Effective Career Aspiration Discussions with Employees
Written by: Andria L. Corso |
Distributed: 2010-03-10 |
Word Count: 690 |
Page Views: 13505
| Votes: 12 |
Rating: 1.33
Enhance your talent management and development programs
through conducting career aspiration discussions with your
employees. Find out where they want to grow their career to
determine if it matches your business needs. This will
enable you to differentiate your employee development to
grow the future leaders of your company.
Top Ten Personal Habits
Written by: Laurel Vespi |
Distributed: 2009-09-08 |
Word Count: 427 |
Page Views: 13201
| Votes: 12 |
Rating: 2.08
Successful people have a regular routine of daily or weekly
habits that reinforce the things that are most important to
them. By practicing a set of personal success habits, they
maintain a positive outlook, keep focused on their
priorities, have more energy, and a greater sense of
satisfaction with life.
Pitch A No-Hitter With Baseball-Themed Flower Gifts
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2007-12-25 |
Word Count: 413 |
Page Views: 11727
| Votes: 27 |
Rating: 1.74
Want to send a gift to the baseball fan in your life that's sure
to knock one out of the park? Send flowers with a baseball
theme! Everyone loves flowers and when you personalize them to
include the recipient's favorite hobbies, like baseball,
they're sure to make an even greater impression.
Highest Ranked "Business Offline" Articles
Equal Opportunity Pizza Ordering
Written by: Rudy Vener |
Distributed: 2007-10-19 |
Word Count: 629 |
Page Views: 5285
| Votes: 10 |
Rating: 3.60
With online ordering, your menu and restaurant suddenly become
accessible to both the deaf and blind customers in your
community.
Lone Wolf --- Lead Wolf: The Evolution of Leadership
Written by: Rick Johnson |
Distributed: 2006-07-20 |
Word Count: 1826 |
Page Views: 4360
| Votes: 19 |
Rating: 3.47
Family owned organizations, both small and large, with succession
issues, family preparation and second and third generation
leadership issues have been subjected to the evolution of
leadership. These organizations are often founded by an
aggressive, highly talented entrepreneur. Many of the principles
of leadership that helped build the success that the organization
enjoyed in the past is not the type of leadership that will
maintain that success through generations of ownership.
Get the Balance Right
Written by: Rich Thawley |
Distributed: 2009-01-28 |
Word Count: 638 |
Page Views: 3897
| Votes: 15 |
Rating: 3.33
Do you build your business around your family or your family
around your business? The choice is yours.
Delegate Or Die: 6 Steps For Business Growth
Written by: Rick Sloboda |
Distributed: 2007-05-08 |
Word Count: 366 |
Page Views: 3620
| Votes: 24 |
Rating: 3.29
To achieve business growth, you need to focus on your strengths
and hire others to take care of the rest. Unfortunately,
entrepreneurs often fail to employ this fundamental business
growth strategy. Here are six steps to help you delegate
successfully.
Whose Restaurant Can You Find Online?
Written by: Rudy Vener |
Distributed: 2007-07-09 |
Word Count: 640 |
Page Views: 4988
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.29
What is so significant about Pizza Hut's latest TV commercial?
Why Businesses Need Receivable Factoring In Cash Flow Management
Written by: Toby Seibert |
Distributed: 2007-08-08 |
Word Count: 866 |
Page Views: 7184
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.29
In today's business environment, many businesses need to
fine-tune the process of getting paid on invoices, in order to
improve their cash on hand. Improving cash flow can be an ongoing
challenge for businesses of all sizes, and it is an issue that
must be addressed to ensure the long-term viability of the
business.
Boost Retention And Referrals In Your Insurance Agency
Written by: Stephanie Cunningham |
Distributed: 2007-10-23 |
Word Count: 707 |
Page Views: 2579
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.29
If you have ever stayed at a nice hotel, then you have probably
seen the hotel's Concierge. The role of the Concierge is to
assist guests with information and service to enhance their stay.
What would happen if you took the idea of the Concierge and
applied it to the way you service your agency clients?
Business School for Non-Business Minds: Got a NAICS Number?
Written by: Melissa Mashtonio |
Distributed: 2008-04-15 |
Word Count: 423 |
Page Views: 5100
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.29
I’m a journalist. I spent a lot of my career in the news
business. As my career has progressed, I’ve spent time at small
and large companies, and I have sat through dozens of business
meetings wondering what the heck the “money” people are talking
about. They used acronyms as if they were a foreign language.
The Problem With Swiping Sales Copy
Written by: Scott Bywater |
Distributed: 2009-12-03 |
Word Count: 480 |
Page Views: 5036
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 3.29
This is what people miss when they try to simply "swipe"
sales copy from another advertisement.
Why 'Closing' Is Not The Most Important Part Of Making A Sale
Written by: Scott Bywater |
Distributed: 2006-08-29 |
Word Count: 553 |
Page Views: 6249
| Votes: 31 |
Rating: 3.26
If you ever thought that 'closing' was the single most
important key to sales success, then pay close attention, because
what I'm about to share may surprise you. Let me explain:
|
|
|
|
|
Article Reprint Rights
|

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License
You are not required to show the creative commons license notice when you reprint this work.
|
Article Statistics
|
Word Count: 1170
Total Views: 4394
Article Rating: 0.67 of 5
Votes Cast: 3
More Articles By Author:
Articles On This Website
Last Distribution Date:
2010-01-19 13:00:00
Internal ID: #7290
|
|
|