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How to Overcome Adversity and Create Outstanding Results in Life and Work!
Copyright (c) 2006-2023 Bruce Elkin
Learning to overcome adversity helps you produce great results--in life, work, and relationships--even when the going is tough.
After just one day of adversity response training, elite NCAA swimmers improved both their ability to bounce back after a set back, and swam significantly faster.
After similar programs, realtors increased their sales by 250% to 320%!
Life insurance sales people nearly doubled their effectiveness!
Couples and team members who practice adversity coping skills report better communication and cooperation—and more fun together!
Clearly, resilience and the ability to cope with adversity give you an edge.
RESILIENCE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY
Resilience, the ability to cope with adversity, will be prized in years to come.
A poll of 20,000 people worldwide reveals that 98% predict a more difficult, changing, even chaotic future. Individuals, families, organizations, and businesses all face accelerating change and increasing levels of adversity.
We are naturally resilient. We have the potential to bounce back from setbacks. But, we lose it over time. And, when adversity stacks up on us, we get rigid, less flexible, less able to bounce back.
But we can increase our ability to overcome adversity and produce great results—even in difficult circumstances.
Learning to cope with failure and adversity can make us successful, now, and in the future.
LEARNING FROM FAILURE
Learning to deal productively with failure is key to building resilience.
"Suppose you have tried and failed again and again," said actress Mary Pickford. "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
Pickford makes an important distinction.
There is a critical difference between the act of failing and conclusions you draw about that act.
Those who stay down judge they, themselves, have failed, not just their actions.
Moreover, they generalize from their "failures" to illogical conclusions such as,
"I am a failure," and "I will probably always fail."
Therefore, they assume there is no point in getting up.
But there is always a point in getting up.
Old wisdom says the sooner we make our first 5000 mistakes, the sooner we will learn anything.
New wisdom talks about "rapid prototyping"—fail fast, and often.
Make many small, instructive mistakes. Try, try again. That is how you learn quickly, in art, business, and life. It is also the fast track to success.
OWNING THE RESULTS YOU WANT
To cope well with adversity, it is important to stifle the tendency to blame yourself, circumstances, or other people.
Don't focus on the adversity and why it happened.
Instead, focus on the results you want—in spite of the adversity—and ask yourself these kinds of questions.
* Do I want this result? Is it worth working for?
* What actions can I take to make it happen?
The origin of the adversity is not as important as owning the results you want, in spite of who or what caused the adversity.
You get more power if you "choose" the results you want. Try this:
Say to yourself, "I choose to..." and then add a result you want.
Notice how making a choice shifts how you feel.
People usually report that choosing results empowers them. It gives them a clear sense of direction, and commitment to their result.
WATCH YOUR SELF-TALK
Watching your self-talk means becoming aware of the stream of chatter that runs through your mind, often without you noticing it.
Psychologists call it roof brain chatter, ticker tape talk, or gremlin thoughts.
Whatever you call it, self-talk is the almost constant flow of thoughts, beliefs, stories, judgments, and conclusions you tell yourself.
We usually don't know we're doing it. And we do not realize how much it affects our moods and actions. But we chatter away to ourselves about our lives, our actions, other people and their actions, and what happens to us.
We also make judgments about what happens, and about what we think we (or they) shoulda, coulda, or woulda" done, and so on.
Unfortunately, this nattering happens mostly outside our awareness.
So, the first step in building resilience is to notice your self talk, and make it more supportive.
Self-talk affects your moods and emotions, and your actions are motivated by your emotions. "Emote," means, "to move.
Unmonitored, self-talk and the emotions it generates, move you in ways you don't want to move. But changing your self-talk changes your actions—and results!
If you make a call and are rejected, your self-talk might sound like this: "I screwed up. I'm no good at this. I'll never get it right. What's the point?"
Does such talk get you pumped for the next call? Not likely!
So catch negative chatter and change it.
Say something like,"Okay, that didn't go the way I wanted. Next time, I will emphasize benefits before I describe features. Besides, it's just one call. On to the next one."
CREATING SUCCESS IN SPITE OF ADVERSITY
If adversity knocks you down, get up. Most of success is found is in getting up and keeping going--in spite of difficulties, problems, and circumstances.
Success guru Napoleon Hill say: "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."
Learning to learn from failure, taking ownership for results you want, and making sure your self-talk supports success will help you create the results you most want—regardless of the adversity you face.
------------------------
Adapted from the ebook Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters Most - With Whatever Life Gives You! by Bruce Elkin.
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Bruce Elkin is a writer, coach, and consultant who helps individuals and organizations create what matters most-in spite of problems, circumstances, and adversity. His ebook Emotional Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters Most-With Whatever Life Gives You is available on his website at: http://www.BruceElkin.com.
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