The other day, I was home with my sweet love when my sister 
called.  She was in a bad mood because she was babysitting my 
cat (I was out of town) and my cat had made a mess in her sofa.  
I was sorry that happened.  I went in the bedroom to think it 
over in silence.

After a while, my sweet love joined me and the first thing he 
said was : 

''I can see this situation seems to bother you, isn't it?''

In that moment, I thought he was the greatest boyfriend ever.  
I felt understood and comforted.  I was in a better disposition 
to be the best partner that I could be for him.  Then I realized 
that he was talking the same language of love as mine.    I am 
a Visual and I understand better when we communicate with me in 
visual ways.  He used the words ''see'' and ''seems''.  I am 
certain that the Auditory and Feeling people out there don't 
really get it but, Visuals out there might better understand 
how I must have felt.

Having the same communication style or using the communication 
style that your partner is using greatly avoids missed 
connections, unnecessary challenges and increase intimacy by 
reducing the events of resentment.  Passion starts to fade 
away when there is build up resentments.  Communicating the 
right way is one of the tools to keep lasting romance.

There are 3 types of Love Language; according to the author, 
Tracy Cabot (How to make a man fall in love with you), you have 
the Visual, the Auditory and the Feeling style.  We use all of 
those 3 ways to communication but one is predominant.

How can we identify the styles?

Visual expresses enthusiasm or stress similar to those comments: 
''Don't you SEE how this is amazing?!'' or '' You'll SEE. You'll 
love it'' or '' You don't LOOK in a great shape today''.  An 
Auditory will say ''This SOUNDS good'' when a Feeling will say 
''This FEELS good.  I have the IMPRESSION that will work'' or 
''I know how you FEEL'' or ''I understand…''

With Visual, it's the look that counts.  They usually are well 
dressed.  They take care of their appearance.  They relax in a 
beautiful, well harmonized environment.  Things have to be in 
order around them.  They look for partners who take care of 
their looks too.  When visual think, their eyes look up in the 
air because they are ''visualizing'' what they will say or the 
situation in their mind.    They will tell you ''how things 
looked''.  They don't talk about their feelings early in the 
relationship because they need to ''see'' where the relationship 
is leading first.  They like to watch television, read, arts, 
landscaping, etc… anything that stimulates their eyes.    

An Auditory are very sensitive the sounds around them.  They 
always have music at home or in their car.  They talk a lot 
because they like to ''hear'' themselves talk.  They are easily 
distracted by noise.  They adore being talked softly in the ear. 
The quality of the voice of their partner can be a true turn 
on or a definitive turn off.  An Auditory will look on the side 
when they think because they have to hear the voice in their 
head.  Auditory will tell you ''how things sounds''.  Auditory 
will have the latest stereo system in town, they prefer going to 
concerts, they like to talk on the phone and they have a special 
talent for music.  

A Feeling person reacts on intuitions and their guts.  They are 
willing to sacrifice elegance for comfort (no high heels for 
women and tight collar shirt for men).  They want to feel great 
at all times and in every situation.  They look for partners 
who are great at sharing feelings.  They are perceived as 
people with a great heart.  Women are easily seduced by Feeling 
Men because they have the ability to express their sensitive 
side and are great listeners, so common to women's needs.   

Feeling people like to touch, to kiss and they greatly need a 
constant physical expression from their partner.  Feeling 
people look down when they think because they need to get the 
''impression''.   Feeling people will tell you ''how things 
felt''.   They like to relax lye in the sun, work out, massage, 
drink, and dance, and eat great foods.  They will most likely 
do risky activities because of the rush of extreme sensations.  
They are looking for trills.

If you are with a partner that has the same communication style 
as yours, enjoy yourselves.  If you have two different 
communication styles, don't conclude that you are not made for 
one another and it's maybe time to see a counselor (a therapist 
or… a lawyer!).   This article will give you more tools to help 
communication at the maximum and get a deeper connection with 
your mate or future mate.

How can we capture the heart of a Visual, an Auditory or a 
Feeling person?

With Visuals, you need to use visual terms; from my 
''perspective'', I can ''see'' what you mean, the more I 
''look'' into this, the more it ''seems'' nice, I ''observed'' 
how wonderful you are with kids, etc…

Visual need to be stimulated with what they see; always have a 
neat house, with harmonized colors, be dressed elegantly in 
every situation (wearing jeans can be elegant with a nice 
matching color and style top).  Be sexy.  For lovemaking, 
always have a little light, or candle, because it turns them 
on to see their partner enjoying sex.  Look in the eyes show 
them that you care for them and you are attentive. Visuals 
like to make scenarios.  

They usually don't rush in the lovemaking because they need to 
admire first.   They need to ''see'' it.  Also, they don't 
communicate in words their feelings.  They show them instead.  
Be sensitive to their generosity.  Don't share your feelings 
too early in the relationship.  Show them instead how you feel 
and how you are.   They'll get the picture.

Auditory will be worried about the noise in the house.  
Quietness and great music atmosphere sure gets them to come 
around often.  Use a soft voice when speaking to them even when 
you are fighting.  You will need to speak in sound language; 
your voice ''turns'' me on, that has a negative ''ring'', 
''tell me, what do you think?  I'm ''listening'',  this sounds 
''wonderful'', the ''rhythm'' is perfect,  etc..  Think verbal 
reassurance.  Looking in the eye won't have the same effect.  
Auditory often ask if you love them.  For lovemaking, use a 
sensual sweet ''radio voice'' in their ear.  

Describe how you feel during the heat of the passion.  Sounds of 
lovemaking will have a powerful effect on them.  They usually 
don't notice the new dress or new haircut that you just had, 
but they will gladly listen on how you got that new dress or 
new haircut, as long as they are in an environment that allows 
listening.   They are really interested in who you are.  Not on 
how you look. They are the best listeners. 

With a Feeling person, use feelings word; that ''feels'' good, 
I'd hate to ''disappoint you'', I don't really ''connect'' with 
that person, I can't wait to ''touch'' you, I ''feel'' that we 
are going somewhere, let me give you a ''massage'', etc...They 
can be perceived a passionate people because they express their 
feelings so much.  They need to know how you feel, very early 
in the relationship. They expect to be touched by their partner 
a lot and they do the same.  

They often complain about insensitivity of their partners.  
Play with their hair while you talk to them, in the car, while 
you are driving, keep one hand on the leg, take walks and hold 
hands, wear satin underwear, make hot bath, etc...Feeling people 
can make lovemaking in any situation because they need the touch 
only.  They are not necessarily the neat one or the most elegant 
either, but they will truly appreciate the complete you.  

Pay attention of the dominant type of you and your partner's.  
Practice the appropriate communication style until it becomes 
natural.  Reducing challenges in a relationship increases the 
chances of lasting romance.  Now, you have a way to capture the 
heart of anyone that you want, if you are single, and you can 
re-ignite the fire if you are in an unsatisfying relationship 
and get what you and your partner wants, because the connection 
will be deeper.  I am a strong believer of ''say anything that 
you want'' to your partner.  But, there are ways of saying 
things.  You just learned on how to make yourself heard and 
understood properly and receive your partner's needs and caring 
expressions right.

Believe me.  You'll see the difference ;-)