Alan Stafford of Relationship Success Experts, invites you to reprint this
article in your publication, ezine, or on your website.
This is a Free-Reprint article. The only requirements for publishing this article
are:
You must leave the article and resource box unedited.
You are not allowed to change our recommendations, nor are
you allowed to change the context of the article.
You may not use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email).
Email distribution of this article MUST be opt-in email only.
If you post this article on a website, you MUST set any URL's
in the body of the article and most especially in the Author's
Resource Box as hyperlinks. You must also send us a copy of
the URL where you have posted this article.
If you find any of the rules to be unsavory or unacceptable, please
do not publish this article. While we are happy to make the content
available to you for your own use, we must insist on having our rules
and *Terms of Reprint* honored in full.
Thank you for adhering to these four very simple rules.
1. If you want to be a better communicator, be a better listener.
This means listening without reaction and without judgment. When
your partner shares, you are observing your partner's innermost
feelings and emotions. These feelings are neither good nor bad.
This is just how your partner feels. You don't have to agree.
But, the first step in effective communications is to listen and
understand that your partner feels that way. Communication in a
good relationship isn't just two people talking to each other. It
is also two people listening.
2. When your partner is sharing a belief, an opinion, or a
feeling, it is his feeling. He is entitled to it; it's his.
Telling him he's wrong never works and makes people defend their
positions. Do you remember your reaction last time when your
partner said that you were wrong? It works just the same the
other way. Remember that understanding and accepting that your
partner has these feelings does not mean you agree with them.
3. Being a successful couple is not a win-lose game where one
person has to give in. Being in a successful relationship means
that neither of you is completely right, nor completely wrong.
Successful communication between you and your partner may help
you find a third alternative where you can both live happily.
Example: you hate Chinese food; he hates Mexican food. You could
argue forever until one person gives in and is miserable
throughout the meal. Or, you could go to an Italian restaurant
that you both like.
Two small tips: 1) don't give up too soon - oftentimes you will
need to talk the problem over for a few minutes before you find
that common ground. 2) Don't always give in to keep the peace- if
you always give in and let your partner decide, it will someday
result in having an "I'm tired of letting you make all the
decisions!" kind of a row.
4. Learn the 3-step approach to solving the differences in your
relationship:
a) Verbalize the behavior that is causing you a problem
b) Explain how the behavior is creating a problem for you
c) Request that your partner do something to change the
situation. Notice that I did not say correct the behavior.
Correcting implies that the behavior was wrong. You don't need to
make the behavior wrong. You just want the behavior to change.
5. Finally, never say no to your partner's request. Not for
money, not for help around the house, not even for sex. Your
answer should be either "yes", or you should make a counteroffer.
Your partner can then counter your counteroffer. The
counteroffers continue until both partners have a solution that
both can live with.
This is another example of finding that third way. This process
will strengthen your relationship. When you say "no", you cause
hurt and feelings of rejection. Saying "no" also shuts down
future communication. Your partner will start thinking "I won't
ask her anymore, because the answer is always no".
After all, that is what marriage is all about: a continual
meshing, accommodating, and negotiating between two individuals
trying to act as a couple. If you had wanted everything your way,
you should have stayed single. Remember, when it comes to your
relationship, it's not my way; it's not his way; it's our way.
Always look for that third way - that common ground where both of
you can be happy.
Notice: thePhantomWriters.com /
Article-Distribution.com played no part in creating this content.
Our client has purchased
thePhantomWriters.com / Article-Distribution.com Distribution Services,
and we have distributed this article to over 6,000 publishers and webmasters.
As part of this service, we offer this page and the Copy-and-Paste version of
this article on autoresponder.
Are you curious about where this article has been published?This article was first distributed on: Fri Jan 6 16:16:57 EST 2006
Check out these links to get a real good idea. Keep in mind that
these links will only show those websites who have posted the article
and have been submitted the page to the respective search engines.
Stand out from the crowds. Educate your prospects and they will turn to you for more knowledge. When they turn to you for more, they will visit your website. It is up to your website copy to sell your products, NOT your article. Provide great information and at your website, address how the prospect will benefit from what you are offering. Using these things in conjuction will help your cash register to ring.
