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First Dates: Skip the Movie and Popcorn
Copyright © 2005, Alan Stafford , All Rights Reserved
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A common and popular first date is going to a movie and sharing
some popcorn. But while you want the date to be fun, your purpose
here is not entertainment. The reason for a first date with
anyone is to see whether you want to date them a second time. The
whole dating process is a screening process to help you find that
special someone. As a way of getting to know someone, going to
the movies is actually a poor choice for first dates.
Close, But No Cigar
The two of you will spend two hours together. Close together, but
not talking! That is like having sex on the first date. Also
close together; no talking. In either case, the lack of
communication does not help you get to know the other person.
This would be like going to the library and reading books on a
sofa together. Without dialogue and an exchange of ideas and
opinions, you can't get to know the person you're dating. You
can't determine if he's Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong. Let's face it: in
most cases he'll be Mr. Wrong. So, it just makes sense to
determine right from wrong as soon as possible. Why date for a
month or two only to decide you don't like the other person. Find
out on the first date if you can.
How To Turn A Movie Into A Good First Date.
You can't know if you're to end the relationship only after
watching a film together. All you can notice during a movie is
whether he likes butter on his popcorn. The value of a movie date
starts before you enter the theater and resumes after the movie
is over. Here's how a movie date can help you in the dating
process.
Before the movie, watch to see whether your date is controlling
and unyielding in choice of movies. Is he willing to compromise?
Does he respect your preferences or laugh at them. When he
chooses a blood-and-guts movie over your comedy film, ask him why
he finds that kind of movie interesting. Here is your first
inkling of his consideration as well as his taste in
entertainment.
After your first movie date, discuss what each of you liked and
disliked about the movie. The actual answers are unimportant.
What you're listening for are opinions, beliefs, and attitudes
that will help you decide whether to continue to date this
person.
Are You Dating A Boy Or A Man?
If your partners' opinions are childish, he is probably not
mature enough for a long-term relationship. One clue is if he got
really excited when the machine gun mowed down all the people in
the restaurant scene. This could be a hint that life is a video
game to him or that he has some serious anti-social tendencies.
If he isn't really interested in talking to you, decide right now
that this is your first-and last-date. All he's interested in is
a short-term relationship. Usually that means that all he wants
next is to have sex. On the other hand, if you can't get a word
in because your partner's talking all the time, nod politely and
yawn occasionally to signal that it's getting late. Decline a
second date from this windbag. He may be intelligent and
charming, but he's more interested in himself than he is in you.
This Is Only A Test
Remember, first dates are evaluation dates. You are interviewing
prospects for the job of being your life partner. It is just the
first step in a lengthy screening process to find Mr. Wonderful.
Have fun, but spend your date time getting acquainted so you know
who's worthy of that second date with you.
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