Training for Book Authors
|
|
Other Resources for Book Authors & Publishers
|
|
Please Support Our Advertisers
|
|
|
|
|
How To Be a Humble Equal and Make the Sale
Copyright (c) 2005-2022 Mark Silver
I remember two sales conversations I had with prospects, both of them several years ago. One was "successful" and one was "unsuccessful," meaning one person hired me, and the other person didn't. But, ultimately both were unsuccessful. How can a sale be unsuccessful?
When you make a sale to a new customer, whether it's for a $2000 service, or for a $15 product, you are beginning a new, and deeper, relationship with the one who buys. And, successful long- term relationships, which happen to be both the most satisfying and the most profitable, can only happen between equals.
My "unsuccessful" sale was easy to diagnose. I was in a needy place- I "needed" them to buy because my eye was on the bottom line- to put it frankly, I needed the money. And, obviously, they ran far away.
First lesson: don't bring your neediness to your prospects. But, when you are needy, how do you keep from doing that? Keep reading.
Now, with my "successful" sale, I did everything right. I said the right things, they liked what I said, we moved forward. Then the fun began.
As we began working together, this client wasn't following through with their commitments from our sessions. They had trouble making decisions for themselves. They wanted my advice on everything. It was not only exhausting for me, but as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't deliver all of what they wanted.
Although I got paid, I felt depleted, and they felt unsatisfied. What happened?
When I sat with the whole situation in my heart, I realized that the roots went back to the sales conversation. I had positioned myself as the "expert" who would take care of everything. And, that's what happened....
In both situations, an unequal relationship had been set up- either I was one up or one down, the prospect was either one down or one up.
A sale is an agreement. And a healthy, sustainable, functioning agreement can only happen between equals.
In order to reach a successful sale, where you and the person you are selling to feels taken care of and happy, you must be equals. On the face of it, this doesn't seem to make sense- your prospect has a problem, and you have the solution. But, that's only half the story. For anyone in business, it's really obvious that you have a problem, too: Your business needs customers in order to thrive. So, in any sale, you have two people with needs, and two people with the solution to the need. A meeting of equals.
Now, hold on, we're going to get a little bit more subtle here. If you just see yourself as two people with needs serving each other, it's very easy to get attached to any particular prospect as the answer to your need. This is a common trap for a business owner, but it's a little more rare for a customer to get attached to a particular business as the solution for their need- they just look elsewhere.
So, how do you acknowledge the need you have, stay confident in offering the solution, and yet not get attached? Lots of people talk about not being needy on your prospects, but when you are needy, what then?
To be an equal, you need to acknowledge your own neediness, but without making your prospect the source of your help, they are only a possible channel. You also need to stand in your confidence, but not by making the prospect smaller than you, merely by realizing yourself as a potential channel for delivering help.
The only way I've found to consistently catch this balance is to find true humility. True humility is to bow to your prospect, both in the strength of being of service to them, and in the vulnerability of your need.
True humility is found in your heart. It is an incredibly powerful place to stand, it is incredibly effective for your sales process, and it feels great. Actually, it feels more than great. It feels sacred.
Practical Keys to How to be a Humble Equal... And Make the Sale
* The very first step is to acknowledge your own neediness. If your business needs more sales in order to feel thriving, acknowledge it. Drop the 'fake it 'til you make it' approach, and instead be gentle and compassionate with your heart as you allow yourself to feel needy for more money and more sales.
It probably feels terrible- that's okay, it's normal for it to feel terrible. But breathe into your heart, remembering that there is more available than you can see. Take the need out of the hands of your prospective customer, and place it into the hands of the Divine.
* The second step is to acknowledge what it's like to really know your stuff. Whatever your product or service, you are probably really good at it, even despite any self-doubt you might have. Using the Remembrance, or other heart-centering practice, ask your heart to show you the reality of your expertise. My experience is that when my heart shows me my expertise, it doesn't inflate my ego, but brings me into an incredibly powerful feeling of humility. Try it, you'll like it.
* The third step is to use your heart to see your prospective customer as they really are, even before you have a conversation with them. With your attention resting in your heart, ask to be shown the truth of who your prospect is, of their heart, and what they really need. Let yourself be willing to be surprised.
The free workbook on my website describes in detail how to be in your heart with a powerful, simple practice. If you need the workbook, links are at the end.
These simple steps may take some practice, but if you allow yourself to slow down and go through them before your sales conversations, you will find yourself in space of just wanting to serve, and, in the process, closing more sales.
My very best to you and your business,
Mark
Mark Silver is the founder of Heart of Business, and the author
of the forthcoming book, Sacred Business. He has helped hundreds
of people in small business succeed without losing their heart.
Mark integrates 1400 years of spiritual tradition with plain,
no-nonsense business practices. Get his free workbook, Getting to
the Core of Your Business, online: http://www.heartofbusiness.com
|
VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE
Needs Work >>
0 -
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5
<< Excellent Article
Tell our authors what you think about their article.
|
Top-Level Category: Articles
10 Most Recent Articles Written by Mark Silver
Hey! Why the Long Sales Pages?
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2009-04-01 |
Word Count: 868 |
Page Views: 3123
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.71
So, you get one of those emails from someone whose business you
kinda like. And it's got some enticing little message in it - so
you click to take a look at the offer. And suddenly you find
yourself in highlighter land. Broad streaks of yellow, lots of
exclamation points, and pages and pages of words making all kinds
of claims and promises. And when you scroll allllllll the way
down to the bottom, there isn't even a price. You need to click
on an 'order now' button before they even tell you the price.
How To Write A 300 Page Book In Four Months
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2009-02-26 |
Word Count: 821 |
Page Views: 4700
| Votes: 12 |
Rating: 1.42
There's a lot of hoopla about becoming an author of your very
own business book. The promise of fame and fortune is very
alluring. Yet your book remains perpetually 'about to be'
written. Or, you've sequestered yourself for weeks or months to
write your book, only to come out with something you feel
luke-warm about.
How To Get Feedback From Colleagues That Makes Sense
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2009-01-27 |
Word Count: 841 |
Page Views: 7958
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.82
Okay, you've just written a new website, or a new sales page. Or
maybe you've just created a new product or offer. Or even just
tried on a new suit. And you turn to your friend and ask: "Can I
get some feedback from you? What do you think?"
The Role of Hunger in Your Business
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2009-01-21 |
Word Count: 1016 |
Page Views: 3220
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 2.86
Hunger and fear are good for your business. Not abject hunger and
despairing panic, mind you. That's too much. But a little touch
of hunger and fear is very useful. I know there are many people
out there who would prefer that not to be the case. And I'm one
of them. I wish inspiration and love were big enough motivators
for action. But for us humans who aren't yet enlightened, they
don't seem to work so well.
Spirituality in Your Business Without Scaring Clients
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2009-01-05 |
Word Count: 1101 |
Page Views: 3055
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 2.50
You've been deepening your spirituality, and it has seeped into
everything you do, or is starting to. The thing is, will it freak
your clients out if you go all woo-woo and bizarre on them? Even
if you're already using spirituality strongly in your business,
I'm guessing there are places you just don't want to go, things
that are too blatant or strong. You don't want to evangelize,
you're not looking to convert anyone. But something's missing.
How a Personal Secretary is Critical to Your Response Rate
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-12-23 |
Word Count: 1037 |
Page Views: 3012
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 1.80
In a past Moneyflow class, one of the participants was promoting
a seminar. 'People aren't responding to my emails. What do I
do?' 'Well, tell me what you've done,' I said. 'Today the
second email went out. I've only had 5 people respond so far on
my list of 100. And I've been networking, and making phone
calls, and sending out flyers.' What wasn't working?
Avoiding Financial Trauma Stress Disorder
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-12-01 |
Word Count: 1002 |
Page Views: 3523
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 0.43
Day after day we're being treated to news of the global
financial markets being flushed further and further down the
toilet. If you run a small business, it can be hard to hold onto
hope and inspiration, because maybe this time things really are
doomed. Makes you wonder and doubt--did someone not buy simply
because they didn't buy, or is this the beginning of the end of
your business?
Marketing Without Spending Your Life Trolling the Internet
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-11-17 |
Word Count: 1160 |
Page Views: 3044
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.38
"I'd rather be rock climbing, hiking, spending time outside
than in front of a computer. And, it all feels so useless, like
nothing works anyhow. I'm spending my life energy in front of
the computer, I feel like , and it's not moving my business
forward!" That's what a client of ours was telling us. And how
about you? You're staring at a screen right now, reading this.
How many hours do you have to spend in front of a computer to
make your business work, anyway?
Why Clients Don't Buy-- and 8232;The Hierarchy of Choice
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-11-14 |
Word Count: 1352 |
Page Views: 2961
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 2.13
So you struggle over getting all the details just right, like
pricing and timing, and all the other features included in your
offers so your best clients will buy from you. So why aren't
they buying? It's because all of those details are actually the
least important part of a purchasing choice. One common
misconception says that human beings make choices based on
what's best for them, but that falls apart really quickly in the
aftermath of several empty tubs of ice cream, as you hold your
stomach and groan, "Why did I do that again?!?"
Can Branding Ever Be Heart Centered?
Written by: Mark Silver |
Distributed: 2008-10-27 |
Word Count: 807 |
Page Views: 3065
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 2.33
Sometimes the world delivers up vocabulary words that are just
plain wrong. Painfully wrong. Words like "branding," which the
world of marketing seems to love, but regular folks and cows just
seem to hate. And it's because of how branding has often been
used. Companies have done psychological studies on how to craft
an environment that gets you to react in the way they want you
to. It's like herding cattle into the searing-hot iron--ouch. Of
course you don't want to use branding. Why would you ever want
to do THAT?
All of Author's Articles on this site: Mark Silver Articles
Most Recent "" Articles
Ann Arbor, MI Offers A Lot Of Year-Around Family Fun
Written by: Jeb Maxwell |
Distributed: 2010-01-20 |
Word Count: 595 |
Page Views: 4390
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.25
Ann Arbor, Michigan is the home of the University of Michigan, a
leading institution of higher education. Ann Arbor is a wonderful
place to visit. The University is co-mingled with the city and
greatly expands the cultural places and events available in the
area.
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5611
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
Finding the Adventure in Travel Again
Written by: Helen Bergstein |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 718 |
Page Views: 4141
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 2.64
If you want to experience adventure at every level of your next
trip, you need to go beyond the usual resorts and places to stay.
If you're like most travelers, personal safety remains a priority,
especially in today's world. A growing number of savvy travelers
have found the perfect balance between adventure and comfort.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 5038
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 5110
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
1569 Unique Ways To Get A Free Lunch
Written by: Steve Robichaud |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3312
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Everywhere you turn - T.V., Radio, magazines, or the Internet,
someone is talking about government grants. What's the real
story? Does the government give away real money, to ordinary
people, to use for whatever they want? Let's take a closer look:
Don't Wait to Start Your Marketing Strategy
Written by: Jo Fulkerson |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3643
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Your novel is finished, you’ve had it edited by a professional Editor, and you’ve done the rewrites. What? You haven’t had an editor edit your work yet? This is a must. There are many editors advertising in Writer’s Digest.
NEVER Reply to an eGroup Post!
Written by: BIG Mike McDaniel |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4879
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
eGroups are collections of people subscribed to a
common (discussion list) address. When one member
sends an eMail message to the eGroup address, it
is automatically sent to everyone else on the
list. As subscribers open and read their eMail,
discussion threads take shape with additional
posts and replies. The attraction of eGroups is
the ability to join in at your convenience as
opposed to the confinement of live chat rooms.
Reasons behind Shoulder Pain
Written by: Jessica Horowitz |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4679
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Pain between the shoulder blades, or any pain for that matter,
is your body's way of notifying you that something is amiss. You
should never ignore it and hope it will *go away by itself*.
There are a multitude of possible causes of pain between the
shoulder blades. We'll discuss common ones in this article and
start with the most serious conditions first:
Effective Managers Need To Coach
Written by: Wendy Hearn |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4183
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.75
Bearing in mind the fast pace of business today and the
need to stay competitive, it's essential that managers
should be effective. They need to be especially
effective with their people and this requires learning
to coach. For most managers, coaching has been added
to their role anyway, but the majority haven't received
any training in coaching skills.
Most Viewed "" Articles
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY - LIFE'S BIGGEST QUESTION
Written by: Richard Sparky Bryan |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 13556
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
When did Americans stop taking responsibility for their own
actions? My friend agreed
that the slide began in the late 1960's with the growth of the
drug culture.
But he was quick to emphasize that although the sixties began
the slide, the real sharp slope did not arrive until the 1990's.
Along about 1993, the slide began to sharpen. It was not until
early 1998 that the slope became a steep cliff.
High Thread Count Bed Sheets. How Many Threads Does A Bed Sheet Need?
Written by: Liz Beresford |
Distributed: 2004-09-14 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 6212
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
High thread count bed sheets, often called percale, are much
advertised, but what exactly does 'high thread' count mean? You
know that it means quality and comfort, but do you know why? It
used to be considered good to have thread count of 180-200 but
thread counts of up to 1000 are advertised these days.. So what
is going on? Does high thread count always mean better quality?
Is there an optimum thread count, and if so what is it?
Muzzling the Motor Mouths: Silence Workplace Windbags
Written by: Bill Lampton Ph.D. |
Distributed: 2005-12-01 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 6031
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.50
During my twenty-three years in management, I dealt with
blabbermouths frequently, so for the last ten years I have
advised clients on how to silence the workplace windbags.
Here are my suggestions for muzzling the motor mouths:
Better Than Botox is there a Safer Substitute?
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2005-09-08 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5930
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Women since time immemorial have always looked for ways to
enhance and prolong their beauty. This of course becomes more
difficult as they age.
Transform Your Work Area into a Homey Environment
Written by: Ted Roberson |
Distributed: 2006-02-24 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5745
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 1.25
Nothing enables one to think and work better than a comfortable
working environment. Especially if you have a sedentary job,
you've got to have little knick knacks around that will enliven
your spirits or which you can look at for inspiration or just
to zone out in relaxation.
12 Ways to Promote Your Business And Website for Free
Written by: Ivana Katz |
Distributed: 2005-03-29 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5733
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
You are very excited!! You have finally created your own
website!! But the trouble is customers aren*t knocking on your
website door. Why? The most probable answer is...
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5611
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
Sell Yourself, Not Your Products or Services
Written by: Bill Platt |
Distributed: 2004-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5161
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 0.50
Sell yourself, not your products or services. The point we
need to make is that your products and services will change
over time as your business adapts to the realities of the
marketplace.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 5110
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 5038
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Highest Ranked "" Articles
Finding the Adventure in Travel Again
Written by: Helen Bergstein |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 718 |
Page Views: 4141
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 2.64
If you want to experience adventure at every level of your next
trip, you need to go beyond the usual resorts and places to stay.
If you're like most travelers, personal safety remains a priority,
especially in today's world. A growing number of savvy travelers
have found the perfect balance between adventure and comfort.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 5110
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5611
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 5038
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Ann Arbor, MI Offers A Lot Of Year-Around Family Fun
Written by: Jeb Maxwell |
Distributed: 2010-01-20 |
Word Count: 595 |
Page Views: 4390
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.25
Ann Arbor, Michigan is the home of the University of Michigan, a
leading institution of higher education. Ann Arbor is a wonderful
place to visit. The University is co-mingled with the city and
greatly expands the cultural places and events available in the
area.
How to Decorate Your Home on EBay
Written by: Pamela Cole Harris |
Distributed: 2005-09-14 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 1898
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 1.20
If you are on a budget (and who isn’t?), a wonderful place for
find home decorating accessories is auction sites like eBay. But
before you go a’baying, here is some advice...
The "Proprietary Blend" Nutritional Supplement
Written by: Will Brink |
Distributed: 2006-02-10 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3139
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
In a nut shell, I went onto cover each of these common marketing
terms that are used to sell supplements to unwitting consumers
and explained each in detail as to what I view as their common
misuse within the market place.
Brink's Unified Theory of Nutrition
Written by: Will Brink |
Distributed: 2006-02-24 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2075
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
Regardless of the topic, a unified theory, seeks to explain
seemingly incompatible aspects of various theories. In this
article I attempt to unify seemingly incompatible or opposing
views regarding nutrition, namely, what is probably the longest
running debate in the nutritional sciences: calories vs. macro
nutrients.
7 Steps to Successful Telemarketing
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2746
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
Telemarketing is not as easy as it looks. Telemarketing involves
talking on the phone to someone you do not know and trying to
convince them to buy a product, use a service, or sign up for a
special offer. Many times, telemarketers fail because they are
not doing the job properly.
Offer More Payment Options than your Competition
Written by: Bill Platt |
Distributed: 2004-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3423
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
In order to be successful online, you must provide your
customers many quick and easy ways to pay for your goods
and services. It is not enough to ask folks to send a money
order or check to your house or place of business. You must
do more.
|
|
|
|
|
Article Reprint Rights
|

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License
You are not required to show the creative commons license notice when you reprint this work.
|
Article Statistics
|
Word Count: 0
Total Views: 1688
Article Rating: 0.00 of 5
Votes Cast: 2
More Articles By Author:
Articles On This Website
Last Distribution Date:
2005-05-25 01:05:35
Internal ID: #840
|
|
|