Online dating is fascinating.
You can meet thousands of available singles that are literally
just a click away, seeking love, romance, dating, marriage,
friendship - and yes, of course sex. Men and women alike join
dating services hoping to make new friends and start new
relationships.
But there are some common mistakes ALL people make when using
Internet personals - including YOU!
Here are ten common mistakes all people make when dating online.
Check out if you are guilty of some of them.
MISTAKE #1
"Giving it a try"
Most people start using online personals with the attitude "Let
me give it a try and see where it goes". They don't really think
they WILL meet someone - they only HOPE to meet someone. What is
the difference? When you "hope" to succeed, you don't try hard
enough - if it works, great, if it does not work, fine, at least
I've tried. When you think you "will" meet someone, and it does
not work, you change something in your approach to online dating
to get the results you want.
BOTTOM LINE: Don't "give it a try" - do your best.
MISTAKE #2
Hoping "the right person will find you"
Most people don't pay when post their profiles on online dating
sites, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot
answer ads of other members. They hope people will be writing to
them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work
for you. But if you are not, then you shouldn't hope your dream
partner would email you out of blue. You will get much better
results if pay for premium membership to the dating site and
write to people yourself.
BOTTOM LINE: Contact other people; don't wait for them to contact
you.
MISTAKE #3
Sending one-liners
It's amazing how many people using online personals send letters
of the type "Hi, liked your profile, please see my profile". If
your photo does not impress the other person in an instant, most
likely they will just delete your email. Some *might* actually
read your profile - and if there is nothing in your profile that
impresses them in an instant, then they will also just delete
your email.
BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.
MISTAKE #4
Sending form letters
I always know when I receive a form letter - always!
I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references in
the letter, I know this letter was not written specially for me.
No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be
special!
BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you
contact.
MISTAKE #5
Writing boring letters
Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they
want to say and not what the other person wants to hear. The
result: letters that are plain BORING. Remember: it's not about
YOU - it's about THEM! Tell them what you liked about their
profile so much that you decided to write to them. Some things
may be uncertain in their profiles - ask questions and guess the
answers. For example, she ticked "Tell you later" in her profile
about kids - if she did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask
if she has kids and tell her you think she does and that you just
love kiddies. A person who actually THINKS and what more - thinks
ABOUT HER, it's indeed something special, and your letter is sure
to get noticed. Don't talk much about yourself in your letter
(she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you
will be the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements
100%, tell her why it won't be a problem. You pride yourself as
having great sense of humor? Back up your claim - make her laugh!
From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and
she should not be able to stop reading till the end. THEN she
will be certainly compelled to check your profile on the Internet
personals website.
BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters - the type of letters you
would like to receive.
MISTAKE #6
Contacting dozens of members at once
Once people pay for their premium membership to the online dating
site, they tend to contact dozens of members at once. The reason
for that is that they don't hope to receive much response. STOP
for a minute: what are you actually looking for? Most of us are
interested to start a relationship with someone special. In fact,
all you need is only one person - but the one who is RIGHT for
you. Do you really want to correspond with 50 people at a time?
Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select a
precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure
you get responses from your favorites before contacting other
people.
BOTTOM LINE: Don't contact dozens of people at once - concentrate
on the ones you like the most.
MISTAKE #7
Not following up
Let's face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people
"Let's get together soon" and forget it in an instant. We send an
email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is
extremely important when using Internet personals: if you do not
get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are
waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they
are NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in
you is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince
people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they
are not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they
are allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they
did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming
they are not interested.
BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical problems
averting your contact.
MISTAKE #8
Not having a photo in your profile
If you don't have a picture in your profile, you are missing out
on people's attention great deal. Many great singles, men and
women alike, NEVER answer mails from members without photos -
leave alone writing to them. If you are concerned about privacy,
take a photo where you are in the distance and hardly
recognizable, or put on sunglasses. Smiling broadly also changes
your face.
BOTTOM LINE: Put a photo in your profile. This is proven to
increase your chances up to 10 times.
MISTAKE #9
Bad body language on the photos
When people look at your photos, they try to figure out what kind
of person you are. If you cross your arms of legs, or in any
other way "cover" your body on the photos, placing a barrier
between you and the viewer, you make them think you are timid,
insecure and lack confidence. Use open body language - open
palms, arms on the sides of your body - never "covering" it,
smile and "look" the viewers in the eyes.
BOTTOM LINE: Check your body language - people make their opinion
about your personality by looking at your photos.
MISTAKE #10
Giving up
You've tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up:
"Internet dating just doesn't work for me". That's the biggest
mistake of all.
What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn
WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that
attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to change
your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile.
Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it
goes.
Maybe you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for a
partner as you would treat the search for a new job: if at first
you don't succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check
new listings every day and write to one person. See what works
and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people.
Just don't give up!
BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is to gain
experience. Practice makes perfect.
Your special person is waiting for you!
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