All of us are raised differently, in different environments of
different cites, by different families of different cultures.
When we grow up, we all have different abilities and different
levels of independence. Even though we are different people in
different places, many of us are provided with the same tools and
lessons to become independent, contributing, even successful
members of our community.
Ever notice, though, that two children raised by the same parents
can be so totally different? A perfect example of this is a
family I know who had a son, Rob, and a daughter, Tracy. Rob was
two years older than Tracy. Their parents had given them both
the same amount of love, rules, guidance, and discipline.
Now, Rob turned 18 and couldn't wait to get out of the house and
be on his own. He never had enjoyed school, so he chose not to
continue his education, and picked up odd jobs for cash. Tracy,
however, had worked part-time through high school, had a savings
account, graduated and went to college to get a degree in
business.
After a few months, Rob still didn't have any steady employment.
He spent his free time tinkering with his friends' cars - he had
a gift for working with engines and loved to dive in and get his
hands dirty exploring how they worked. During this time, it was
common for Rob to go back home to his parents and ask for a hand
- a few dollars here and there to make ends meet. He never
changed his lifestyle or career, and wouldn't consider enrolling
in vocational classes. Meanwhile, Tracy was doing well in
school, still working part-time, and was very determined to be
independent.
Rob's parents soon became tired of his frequent, almost routine,
requests for help. They realized that it was up to them to
force him to become responsible. Although they would always be
there to give him advice and guidance, they were no longer
willing to be his safety net.
One day, Rob walked in the door, and said, "Hey, Mom, can you
give me a hand with my rent this month?". He was very surprised
when his mom sat him down and said, "Rob, I do realize that you
need a hand. But the helping hand you're looking for is at the
end of your own arm".
Disappointed and disillusioned, Rob was left with no money help
outside of that comment. He spent a while looking at his hands,
and suddenly realized that he did have the tools to succeed. All
he had to do was use them.
He got a job as a helper at a local mechanic shop, retrieving
parts and sweeping floors, and occasionally doing oil changes.
With his boss' encouragement, Rob decided to enroll in automotive
courses and found that he enjoyed them and was actually very good
at it. He spent his time at work learning skills of the trade
from the experienced mechanics, and hoped that someday he could
be as good as they were.
Today, Rob is the successful owner of own chain of automotive
repair shops and tells his employees that they all have access to
the tools necessary to succeed.
We all need a little help now and then, but sometimes all we need
is a reminder that the help we need has been there all along. We
just have to use it.
Where's your helping hand?
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