There are two main types of communication that take place in 
selling situations:  conflict and cooperation.  Which type of 
communication you're using will have a profound impact on whether 
or not you get the sale.

Conflict takes place as the result of the vast majority of sales 
processes and especially as the result of these taught in 
traditional sales training, which usually goes as follows:

The salesperson initiates the sales process through a cold call. 
Because the prospect does not expect or anticipate the call, 
sales resistance automatically exists and the salesperson is 
forced to overcome it.  This is conflict.  When the first 
appointment takes place, the prospect again has his defenses up 
in anticipation of a pushy sales pitch.  As a result, frivolous 
objections are thrown out that the salesperson must overcome. 
More conflict.  At the end of the appointment, the salesperson 
must secure a time for a second appointment in order to present a 
proposal.  The prospect says to call next week for a time, but 
the salesperson wants to secure it now.  Even more conflict.  The 
second appointment takes place, the proposal is presented, the 
salesperson asks for the order, and now the prospect really has 
objections.  Conflict.  The salesperson works to overcome them 
and then uses a sleazy technique such as the infamous alternate 
close to again ask for the order.  Conflict at its worst.

Now let's take a look at a sale where the state of mind is not 
conflict but cooperation:

The prospect learns of the salesperson's offering through the 
salesperson's thoughtful, organized self-marketing plan.  The 
prospect contacts the salesperson and asks for a meeting, to 
which the salesperson of course agrees.  Cooperation.  During the 
first appointment, the prospect willingly explains the need that 
exists and the salesperson listens and takes down all pertinent 
information.  They mutually agree to a time to review a solution. 
Cooperation.  The day for the proposal appointment arrives and 
the prospect is excited to finally learn of a way to solve his 
problem.  The salesperson presents it and the prospect agrees 
that it looks great.  More cooperation.  There is no need for the 
salesperson to engage in any ethically questionable closing 
tactics because the prospect sees the value in the proposal and 
simply buys.  Cooperation at its finest.

Ask yourself, do your sales processes look more like the first or 
second example?  If you're experiencing conflict instead of 
cooperation with your prospects, perhaps it's time for you to 
drop the old methods of prospecting and selling and learn a new 
way that fosters goodwill and cooperation.  The answer is self-
marketing.  Instead of annoying people with cold calling and 
pushing them to buy with tacky closes, it will induce qualified 
prospects to call you and simply agree to buy. 

Frank Rumbauskas is the author of Cold Calling Is A Waste Of 
Time: Sales Success In The Information Age and The Sales Mastery 
Program.  His focus is on teaching salespeople and sales 
organizations how to stop cold calling and replace it with smart 
self-marketing that will bring in a steady supply of qualified, 
eager-to-buy prospects.  For more information please visit 
http://www.nevercoldcall.com