Over the past few months, things in my life have been better than
ever. New home, new friends, and wonderful career. Yet I found
myself uncharacteristically asking, “Self, why am I feeling so
frustrated? Why am I getting upset at the smallest of
situations?”
I did a little digging (soul searching, if you will) and realized
that as wonderful as things were going at the moment, like most
of us, I had some unfinished business out there.
There were a handful of people and negative relationships that
were still on my mind and wanted to do something about it.
What I came up with was the realization that out of all the
people or things I was angry with, none of them (did I believe)
truly meant to cause me harm. In other words, they had no intent
for malice; it was only the interpretation of the event or
situation that caused me anger and pain.
Think about this for a second. How many times have you gotten
into arguments over the silliest of things, only to later realize
how foolish you were being and to acknowledge that you’d simply
gotten caught up in the moment?
After pondering this question for a bit, I decided to do
something I should have done long ago. I thought about the few
relationships in my life that were less than perfect or had ended
on a sour note. I then committed myself to research what had
caused the upheaval and to do my best to rectify the
relationships that lacked a harmful intent.
I asked myself whether my ex-wife had really intended to slander
me with the things she said, or whether she’d been speaking
through her frustration and uncertainty of losing a relationship
that she had shared for over half her lifetime. Had my father
intended to discard our relationship, or was he simply avoiding
me to save himself from having to deal with his own ex-wife who
may have said some terrible things to him as well?
Get the picture?
Now, as personal as this is, I share it with you this month
because what happened next was truly amazing. By taking action
toward repairing the past and eliminating the negative feelings I
was carrying, I rekindled some of the best relationships I’d ever
known.
Look, I’m not asking you to play God and pretend to know what
people think. However, you can use common sense and make an
educated guess. For example, if someone borrows your car and
crashes it, ask yourself whether they meant to do it. More than
likely, they didn’t, so why end a relationship over it? However,
if someone takes a bat to your car and smashes it to pieces,
you’re probably safe in assuming they had a negative intent.
Now let me ask you, do you have any relationships that may have
been severed from an accident or misunderstanding? In retrospect,
do you think the person truly intended to destroy, upset, or
provoke you? Was a bat involved, or just angry words and
misguided thoughts? If you can’t find evidence of a harmful
intent, pick up the phone, say hello, and let go of your
resentment.
Let it go, let it go- let it go.
Keep Smilin',
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