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What Is Genuine Control?
Copyright 2003, Deanne Repich
What is Genuine Control?
-- Genuine control is not something lost or gained according
to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me
in abundance at all times.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to make people like or
love me. It's about liking and loving myself and allowing my
inner beauty to shine through.
-- Genuine control is not something that comes from
manipulating the external environment - other people, events,
and circumstances. It comes from changing my internal
environment - how I perceive and act.
-- Genuine control does not result in feelings of powerlessness,
anxiety, and self-doubt. It results in feelings of empowerment,
contentment, and increased self-esteem.
-- Genuine control does not drag me down. It lifts me up.
-- Genuine control does not come and go depending on how
I'm feeling at the moment. It is within me at all times, even if
I choose not to realize it or use it.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting to make others
do things my way and think the way I want. It means making
my own choices and thinking for myself.
-- Genuine control does not mean looking outside of myself
to determine who I am. It means looking within myself and
appreciating who I am.
-- Genuine control does not mean single-handedly transforming
economies, business climates, and political realities. It
means transforming my internal reality (myself), which in
turn positively affects the whole.
-- Genuine control is not about predicting the future - my
grades, my income, my relationships, or a thousand other
things. It's knowing that whatever happens I can choose
how to perceive and react to life's events.
-- Genuine control does not mean trying to change someone
else's feelings. It means that each person's feelings are his
or hers alone, just as my feelings are mine alone.
-- Genuine control does not mean never making mistakes.
It means understanding that making mistakes (and learning
from them!) is essential to my success.
-- Genuine control is not about feeling the need to change
other peoples' preferences and opinions. It means developing
and respecting my own.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting the impossible
and feeling disappointed that I did not achieve it. It means
attempting the possible and congratulating myself on each
small success I achieve.
-- Genuine control does not mean telling others how to spend
their time. It means choosing how I spend my time.
-- Genuine control does not mean other people, events, and
situations determine my feelings, thoughts, and actions. It
means that I choose how to feel, think, and act.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to stop the rain, the
snow, or the sunshine. It's about making rainbows,
snowmen, and sand castles. :)
-- Genuine control is not about attempting to change what
other people think, do, and feel because I know what's best
for them. It's about deciding how I react to what others think,
do, and feel because I know what's best for me.
-- Genuine control does not mean controlling all of life's
events. It means interpreting life's events in a way that
promotes my growth, happiness, and well-being.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Deanne Repich is the Director of the
National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc., a former
anxiety sufferer, and an internationally known anxiety
educator. She is the creator of the Conquer Anxiety Success
Program, a comprehensive self-study program that guides you
step by step through over seventy practical strategies for
overcoming anxiety. If you liked this article, you'll enjoy
her course, free newsletter, and other helpful resources at:
http://www.ConquerAnxiety.com
Copyright 2003, Deanne Repich, All Rights Reserved
This article was originally written: March, 2003
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