Difficult people are on the hunt for a quarrel.  It’s not
personal, usually.  It’s just that you happen to be the most
convenient target.
 
   Difficult people are insecure.  They want YOU think and live
like THEY think and live.  Misery indeed loves company.  They
feel better if you are tense and unhappy.
 
   What can you do to instantly neutralize their negativity?  You
cannot stop them from being difficult and demanding.  Heaven
help you if you try!  But you can control your own reactions
through the amazing power of NowFacts.


What are NowFacts?
 
   Simple, healthy and truthful principles you voice to
yourself silently, in the present moment.  Speech is powerful!
It is your connecting point back to your calm and intelligent
center.  Speech instantly reminds you of the wisdom and power
you already possess.
 
   Here are 7 NowFacts you can use when difficult people are 
on the prowl.  These are secret silent statements you say to
yourself:
 
1. I am not an actor who must obey your script.
 
   The difficult person has a script.  In the script he writes
   that you get angry, that you fight with him, that
   you condemn him, that you get stressful and
   frustrated.  Difficult people want opposition.  That is their
   primary aim!  When you employ this NowFact you inform yourself
   that you have the power of choice.  You are never compelled to
   go along with their script.  A silent refusal to take the bait
   sends a very powerful signal to the difficult person.  They
   get it!


2. I just cannot afford you any more.
 
   This NowFact reminds you that some relationships carry much
   too high a price.  You have to let go.  There is no feeling of
   superiority or hostility.  You simply cannot afford the
   relationship any more.  It cost too much.  You have to move on
   because you know it is best for YOU and for the other person.


3. I see your rage as childish, not forceful.
 
   Here is how you can heal your perceptions.  This NowFact
   reminds you that anger is weakness, not strength.  Work with
   this NowFact and watch it release its treasures of wisdom and
   self-command.  You’ll never again cringe before an angry
   person.


4. You don’t know it, but I remain at a safe inner distance from
   you.
 
   Personal growth widens the gap between both your own inner
   negativities and those of others.  You see anger from a higher
   place.  Instead of being immersed in it, you’re above it now.
   You need never descend to a lower level to accommodate an
   immature adult.  With NowFacts, your life is in your power!


5. I will not injure you by doing your work.
 
   Difficult people are very sly in getting others to carry their
   load.  They ARE difficult precisely because they have refused
   self-responsibility.  We harm adults when we do things for
   them they must do for themselves.  This NowFact is
   compassion in action.  Truth is never clouded by
   sentimentality, which is nothing more than cruelty in
   disguise.


6. I sense a lot of violence in your gloom.
 
   This NowFact is in the same category as number 3 above, 
   “I see your rage as childish, not forceful.”  It is called
   “reframing.”  Reframing teaches us to see things through an
   entirely different lens.  It is an amazingly effective method
   for self-renewal.
 
   Difficult people are often gloomy.  How often have we tried to
   cheer one of them up and been bitten?  It can be compassionate
   to say an encouraging word at times.  But we have to be wise!
   Hardened and dedicated difficult people want your cheerful
   words, not to pick themselves up, but to pull you down with
   them!  Sense the violence behind their mask of gloom and you
   empower yourself.


7. If you want a destructive fight you will have to fight all
   alone.
 
   A destructive fight is what the difficult person is after.
   It’s what THEY want, not what YOU want.  With this NowFact 
   you can stay in your own clear skies.
 
   If you refuse to battle the difficult person on their own
   turf, what can they do about it? The only way they can 
   control you is if you catch the negative ropes they toss.  
   Anger, guilt, frustration -- all these negative ropes fall 
   to the ground, unclaimed by you, once you learn to leave 
   the problem with the person who has it.


Conclusion
 
   Remember, these NowFacts are voiced silently within yourself,
unless you know you are alone.  They help you ignite self-
understanding you already possess but have temporarily
forgotten.  Difficult people seem to have power only when YOUR
True Power is temporarily dormant.  Wake it up!
 
   Nothing is more beneficial than standing up for what you know
to be true.  Don’t let the world and its drowsy people tell
you what is true for you.  Tell yourself!  Passivity in the
face of falseness is the underlying cause of the world’s
problems.  With NowFacts you reclaim your life with its
inherent happiness, intelligence and humor.  Nothing is more
fun! 

Bio: Tom Russell is the author of Several eBooks, including 
“The Power of Vertical Thinking” and “Seven Secrets to Light 
Up Your Essence.”  He is the host of http://www.SuperWisdom.com 
and the editor of the SuperWisdom E-zine, read biweekly by more 
than 20,000 people in 42 countries.  He assists professional 
salespeople and entrepreneurs to live with greater energy, 
focus and spiritual insight.  He has been interviewed on 
more than 200 radio and TV talk shows.