Dear Friend:
As I've written, while travelling I get caught up on my reading.
One of the articles I recently read was about Dr. Abraham H.
Maslow. The journals he wrote in 1962 were recently re-released.
As a freshman in university in 1963, I studied Maslow - before I
flunked out. His "Hierarchy of Needs" is now legendary in the
world of psychology. Maslow's work has its own website, and I
recommend you look at it (EYPsychain Management). He is highly
recommended by many, including myself.
The reason I've always like Maslow has become more clear to me
since I entered the world of coaching in 1993. His 1962 book
Toward the Psychology of Being describes the theory that human
beings progress through a hierarchy of needs until they reach a
point of self-actualization. In other words, trust, recognition,
motivation and the importance of continuous improvement in life.
It's very much like the emotional bank account you've heard me
talk and write about ad nauseam. He makes it sound more
scientific.
People I've been in business with over the years have gone a long
way toward their own self-actualization. I did myself more than
20 years ago when I decided to get my head screwed on straight in
1976.
Another article I read was on "The Perfect Decision" by an
entrepreneur. Or more basically, there IS NO perfect decision,
but neither are decisions made by the seat of your pants. Part of
self-actualization and building emotional bank accounts is the
act of decision-making.
What does the average person (you) do wrong in making difficult
decisions? You start to solve the wrong problems. You jump at the
first (easiest) characterizations of your decision, so your
objectives are too narrow and you consider too few alternatives.
Now, by this I certainly don't mean to Lotus 1-2-3 a question to
death. What is meant is, because of inexperience, we look at a
narrow scope of outcomes. Of course the answer to this is an
experienced Board with a well-respected and battle- hardened (and
in my case, extremely charming, affable and saintly!) Chairman
and Mentor. (Some of you will think I'm kidding.)
Bad decisions are made because inexperienced people don't look at
situations in a broader context, because it makes them
uncomfortable.
For example, you make decisions from childhood (2 or 3-years-
old) with no training. We get into bad habits, we learn to accept
the ways problems are given. So you are choosing solutions from
decisions given to you by others.
After 20 to 40 years, we're pretty much in that habit rather than
asking ourselves what decisions we should be addressing. I've
said it's not easy thinking about making hard decisions.
The easy way out is just to do what comes naturally and not
trying to question the issues more broadly. This is another way
of saying you make the emotionally-easier decision.
The first thing you need to do is define the "decision problem"
you are really facing, i.e., what it is you have to decide. A
good solution to a well-posed problem is usually far superior to
an outstanding solution to a poorly posed problem.
Now the real question is, how do we know we are posing the
problem correctly? One - our mentor! Two - perhaps, after a
lifetime of messing things up, through bad decisions. Or three -
by asking yourself, "is this what I really need to decide? Is
this the right problem?"
As you well know, after a while you are in the course of deciding
the situation changes and the problem becomes a new problem. And
sometimes the situation doesn't change, but your insights into
the situation do.
As you all know, being a minority shareholder in a private
company is like kissing your sister. For most of you, I've had
little to do with your decision-making process.
For a few of you, I've had considerable input. I've in no certain
terms probed your objectives, goals, interests, fears,
aspirations and at times, helped you psychoanalyze yourself,
asking what you really want and understanding your basic desire
and continually probed, probed, probed.
Now, if you don't know if you are working on the right problem
and you don't listen to the experience of your mentor and/or
board, what happens?
Very few people focus on whether you are working on the right
problem. Why? Because to focus on the right problem normally is
associated with the pain and fear of error in your judgements ---
- a big mistake!
There are good and bad decisions and no more than fear of failure
and being willing to become experienced through making a lot of
mistakes. The more you get closer to self- actualization the
better your choices.
At this juncture, I could write volumes about inner peace and the
fulfilment of life's meaning, but I won't! Some of you (alumni of
other programs) could also write these volumes. In fact, some of
you have - in your emails to me!
A colleague just called for some assistance. The advisor for the
seller with whom he's been negotiating has just been fired. What
now, Dan? What Would Dan Do? WWDD?
It's funny what I think of when I get calls and emails from you.
I remember how this particular person was difficult to be sold on
QLA. He purported had a partner who couldn't take action. Being
British, he kept trying to convince him. He came to the Guthrie
Castle Seminar and still tried, for a while, to get his partner
to commit. Finally he said he'd go forward without this partner!
Don't get me wrong. This person had a million questions himself
about attending the Castle and moving forward. At Guthrie he had
another million questions - he's an engineer and must understand!
As far as I can remember, we've had one Board meeting at Guthrie.
I've helped interview one or two of our Board members and we have
four or five Board members.
There have been two or three changes on the Board. I think we've
changed accountants at least once and we've had the same lawyers
(I think)! He now asks less and less because he is more
comfortable with - what?.....himself!
In recent years, various colleagues have taken me to dinner or
for coffee from time-to-time when I'm available. They also listen
to me. Sometimes I give very specific instructions and other
times I give general guidelines.
Sometimes my sage input is difficult to follow, as many will
attest to. But as someone who has had any success using QLA, you
already know you have to get used to failure and rejection. This
is not to say you become comfortable with not completing your
goals. What I mean is you must get comfortable with failures on
the way to bringing your dream to fruition.
You must thicken your emotional skin. You must become more
comfortable with the failures you experience on the way to
success. Hopefully all of you understand this absolute basic
precept to being a high-performance and fulfilled person.
You've heard me say, get successful and you'll feel good about
yourself!
Do you think Richard Branson, Donald Trump or Ross Perot care the
same way you do about what people think and failures? I don't
think so!
Every day of the rest of your life is a new test! How will you
score?
You'll score great if you live it like it's the last two minutes
of your last World Cup / Super Bowl.
To a prosperous and emotionally fulfilling life,
Dan Peña
P.S. To quote Jerry Springer, no matter what your age (pass
adolescence) you are responsible for your own actions,
irrespective of the actions or inactions of someone else. Pass
the age of legal reason (18 in the U.S.), you and only you are
accountable for what you do or don't do. Remember: in the words
of a great, all-knowing soothsayer, "All people are self made,
only successful people talk about it!"
P.P.S. Ross Perot - "Success is on the razor's edge of failure."
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