|
Training for Book Authors
|
|
|
Other Resources for Book Authors & Publishers
|
|
|
Please Support Our Advertisers
|
|
|
|
|
|
Watching the NFL versus the MLB
Copyright (c) 2005-2021 Jason OConnor
Imagine placing two flat screen plasma TV's side by side in your living room smack dab in front of your couch. You've got beer, snacks a-plenty and fresh batteries in your clicker.
One TV has an NFL game on and the other has a Major League Baseball game and they both start at the same time.
Besides this being many sports fans' idea of hog heaven and even better than clicking back and forth between games with only one TV, it's fun to watch the differences between these two pro sports. Watching the NFL on TV is a weekly ritual; baseball is on every night of the week, but watching the two combined is almost as rewarding as joining a Cowboy cheerleader snuggle-fest.
And that's exactly what I did recently (not the snuggle-fest, but the two TV's thing). Here's what happened:
The football game started with a massive kick to the opposing team, and a line of 250-pound plus men with murder in their eyes started charging after the poor slob who caught the ball. After a few seconds he was crushed by his pursuers, becoming the bottom man in a very scary adult male pig-pile. MLB players tend to be a little mellower and less physical, but all pro players in any sport need to be strong. Football players take steroids, baseball players get caught.
Meanwhile, the MLB game started off a little less exciting. My heart rate and pulse began to slow down as I watched the catcher and pitcher play catch as the batter just stood there spitting and adjusting his crotch. I got quickly bored and turned back to the NFL game.
In a matter of a three minute span two men had been injured, with one having his ankle relocated to his armpit. A touchdown was scored, the ball changed hands twice, and a whole lot of tackling, smashing, crunching and finger-breaking happened.
Football is more of an immediate gratification, ADD-friendly game to watch.
I glanced back at the MLB game for a couple of minutes. Two strikeouts and four fly outs came and went and we were already in the second inning, with little action to show for it. A baseball game is more of a wise-old-man kind of sport, where patience and number-crunching are paramount. It reveres serenity.
Football reveres mayhem. Watching football gets me angry and all charged up. Watching baseball makes me sleepy. In fact, I usually like to watch the first two or three innings, fall asleep, and then wake up to catch the last few innings. Watching football players hit each other full force and light each other up is exciting, and dozing is out of the question. Watching one grown man with ball in glove chase another grown man to tag him in a pickle is kind of funny.
As 10,000 commercials played on the football TV, I had a few minutes to catch up on my MLB game. Finally, in the bottom of the third, a man hit the ball and dropped it in the right field gap for a single. All the baseball players, including the guy running up to first base, seemed quite pleasant. Why not be? They were playing in a nice park, on a nice warm and sunny day and no one had even broken a sweat yet. The batter reached first base and started chatting with the opposing team's first baseman. They started smiling and having a great time with each other. My lip-
reading skills are not what they used to be but I think I saw one say to the other, "Hi Johnny! How's the wife doing? It's been a while since we saw her. We've got to get together sometime soon."
Growing restless, I turned back to the NFL game just in time to see one man standing over a writhing and groaning man on the turf. I think I saw his lips yelling, "Hey Bruno, while we were having breakfast together this morning, your wife told me to tackle you into next Tuesday, did I do a good job?"
In the very next play a running back was nailed in a bone-
splitting tackle. Indeed, his bone did split, and then protruded right out of his bloody skin causing a wave of nausea to spread over the crowd.
Fascinated but horrified, I quickly turned to the baseball game and witnessed a wild pitch hit the batter on the finger. The batter yelped and had to sit the rest of the game out, his pinky was smarting.
To replace the bone-sticking-out-of-his-leg guy in the NFL game, a bulky player with flowing dreadlocks sticking out of his helmet started lumbering onto the field. He had a huge cast on his arm that looked like a big club. With the hand totally encased, forming a big bulbous weapon, he shook it as his opponents in defiance while possibly struggling to stick one particular finger up, and then reluctantly joined the huddle.
It was nearing the halftime and so many timeouts had been called that they seemed to have run out of commercials to play. So the cameras started scanning the crowd. It was a lot colder where this game was being held, and I could see people's breath. I also saw a guy in shorts and no shirt who had painted his skin from head to toe in his NFL team's colors. His head was shaved and also painted, and he was wearing a big pig's nose on his face.
As I briefly scanned the crowd on the other TV, I saw lots of people in button down, short sleeve shirts, baseball caps and gloves on, waiting expectantly for that ever-elusive foul ball.
The first half started to wind down in the NFL game, and I actively awaited gratuitous shots of hot cheerleaders. I was rewarded with lots of silly pompom waving and cleavage. I then happily turned back to the MLB game but only saw three heavy-set women shoving sausage dogs and peanuts in their mouths.
At halftime I got a chance to go to the bathroom and grab another cold beer and more snacks. There is never a big break in baseball, and every time I go to the bathroom while watching baseball I always miss the big play, which of course happened this time too.
My MLB game continued to plod along when I got back, inducing the unique ball-strike-out hypnotic state that only baseball can cause. I was about to doze off when I was jarred out of my trance by the flashy touchdown dance I saw on my other TV. The guy who just scored was moonwalking across the uprights while flapping his arms like wings. He then proceeded to do a magnificent swan dive which turned into a double summersault with a twist and finally landed perfectly on the field.
I then quickly caught the replay of the big baseball play I had just missed. Someone hit a grand slam, rounded the bases and was greeted by a big, warm, bouncing-in-unison group hug.
After a while, both games ended and I had experienced a full range of emotions. Both games are great to watch and if you can get past the roller coaster ride of stimulation, watching football and baseball simultaneously is a blast. I decided to keep both plasma TV's in front of the couch permanently
Finally, no football vs. baseball article could be complete without mentioning one of the masters of comedy and this subject, George Carlin. Here's a quote from Carlin's famous monologue that inspired this article:
"And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!"
VOTE ON THIS ARTICLE
Needs Work >>
0 -
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5
<< Excellent Article
Tell our authors what you think about their article.
|
Top-Level Category: Articles
10 Most Recent Articles Written by Jason OConnor
How to Plan and Make a Website's Navigation Bar
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2009-12-30 |
Word Count: 841 |
Page Views: 3456
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 1.50
The Web is interactive. As a visitor, you get to determine
where you go and what you see. One of the most important
features of every website is its navigation, and its
navigation that gives the controls to the visitor.
Everything You Need To Know To Get Your Idea On The Web
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2009-12-30 |
Word Count: 1715 |
Page Views: 3380
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.00
If you want to get online and are wondering, "How can I get
my idea live on the Web in the form of a website?" you have
three choices: hire a Web vendor such as a Web designer to
make it for you, use an online template-based turnkey
service or make it yourself from scratch. This article is
specifically for the Web novice that simply needs a place to
begin.
Top Ten Ways to Use Twitter for Marketing
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2009-10-27 |
Word Count: 1052 |
Page Views: 2351
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 2.80
Like anything, and this is especially true of working with
social media, the more you give, the more you get. In other
words, the more often you tweet the more activity you'll
generate. Some suggest that you tweet a few times a day,
every day. Not every tweet needs to be profound. But they
should all be useful.
How A Blog Can Seriously Help Your Business
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2009-10-22 |
Word Count: 1213 |
Page Views: 2603
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 2.00
If your business website doesn't have a blog, get one. A
blog, if done right, can act as a direct and indirect
mechanism that brings large amounts of qualified visitors to
your site, many of whom may become customers.
How to Create a Bad Website and Frustrate Your Visitors
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2009-02-24 |
Word Count: 1018 |
Page Views: 2862
| Votes: 10 |
Rating: 3.00
If you're a sadistic kind of webmaster or website owner and have
a burning desire to royally frustrate and anger your site
visitors each and every time they visit your site, these three
lists are just for you. If you want to have a terrible website
that looks bad, works horribly and breaks fundamental marketing
rules, read on.
Top 5 Ways To Use Web 20 for Web Marketing
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2008-09-08 |
Word Count: 1387 |
Page Views: 2966
| Votes: 7 |
Rating: 1.57
Web 2.0 and Web marketing is a match made in heaven. There are
many ways to create traffic to your website using the power of
Web 2.0. Below I am going to examine what I consider to be the
top five.
Top Six Internal Linking Tactics To Get Top Google Rankings
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2008-09-04 |
Word Count: 1386 |
Page Views: 2735
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 1.83
If you own or run a website and are not following these six
tactics for properly linking your website together then you're
losing Google traffic as you read this.
How to Make Your Website Sticky
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2008-09-02 |
Word Count: 502 |
Page Views: 3067
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 1.20
Getting people to visit the first time is less than half the
battle. You'll need them to remain on the site long enough to
take an action that benefits your business for the site to be
effective. A site that gets people to stay there once they’ve
arrived is called 'sticky.'
How To Become A Web Expert Without Spending A Dime
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2007-05-10 |
Word Count: 1392 |
Page Views: 4502
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 2.25
Imagine you're a master at making money online, that you're
passionate, and excited during almost every hour you spend
working. Visualize people coming to YOU for answers to their most
important Web-related questions. Envision emails and phone calls
flooding in every day with eager, prospective customers. Read on
to learn the secret to achieving all of this.
Learn The Secret To Becoming An Expert At Anything
Written by: Jason OConnor |
Distributed: 2007-05-09 |
Word Count: 930 |
Page Views: 4000
| Votes: 6 |
Rating: 3.33
What happens when you step off the edge of a thirty story
building's rooftop with nothing to keep you in the air? Gravity
drops you like a rock. It's an immutable law. This law will
never be broken. Here's another one. Energy can't be created or
destroyed; it may be transformed from one form to another, but
the total amount of energy can never change. You may be wondering
what this has to do with becoming an expert at something. Read
on, you'll begin to see what I'm getting at here.
All of Author's Articles on this site: Jason OConnor Articles
Most Recent "" Articles
Ann Arbor, MI Offers A Lot Of Year-Around Family Fun
Written by: Jeb Maxwell |
Distributed: 2010-01-20 |
Word Count: 595 |
Page Views: 3647
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.25
Ann Arbor, Michigan is the home of the University of Michigan, a
leading institution of higher education. Ann Arbor is a wonderful
place to visit. The University is co-mingled with the city and
greatly expands the cultural places and events available in the
area.
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5065
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
Finding the Adventure in Travel Again
Written by: Helen Bergstein |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 718 |
Page Views: 3758
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 2.64
If you want to experience adventure at every level of your next
trip, you need to go beyond the usual resorts and places to stay.
If you're like most travelers, personal safety remains a priority,
especially in today's world. A growing number of savvy travelers
have found the perfect balance between adventure and comfort.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 4677
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 4712
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
1569 Unique Ways To Get A Free Lunch
Written by: Steve Robichaud |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2870
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Everywhere you turn - T.V., Radio, magazines, or the Internet,
someone is talking about government grants. What's the real
story? Does the government give away real money, to ordinary
people, to use for whatever they want? Let's take a closer look:
Don't Wait to Start Your Marketing Strategy
Written by: Jo Fulkerson |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3191
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Your novel is finished, you’ve had it edited by a professional Editor, and you’ve done the rewrites. What? You haven’t had an editor edit your work yet? This is a must. There are many editors advertising in Writer’s Digest.
NEVER Reply to an eGroup Post!
Written by: BIG Mike McDaniel |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4392
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
eGroups are collections of people subscribed to a
common (discussion list) address. When one member
sends an eMail message to the eGroup address, it
is automatically sent to everyone else on the
list. As subscribers open and read their eMail,
discussion threads take shape with additional
posts and replies. The attraction of eGroups is
the ability to join in at your convenience as
opposed to the confinement of live chat rooms.
Reasons behind Shoulder Pain
Written by: Jessica Horowitz |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4258
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Pain between the shoulder blades, or any pain for that matter,
is your body's way of notifying you that something is amiss. You
should never ignore it and hope it will *go away by itself*.
There are a multitude of possible causes of pain between the
shoulder blades. We'll discuss common ones in this article and
start with the most serious conditions first:
Effective Managers Need To Coach
Written by: Wendy Hearn |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 3763
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.75
Bearing in mind the fast pace of business today and the
need to stay competitive, it's essential that managers
should be effective. They need to be especially
effective with their people and this requires learning
to coach. For most managers, coaching has been added
to their role anyway, but the majority haven't received
any training in coaching skills.
Most Viewed "" Articles
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY - LIFE'S BIGGEST QUESTION
Written by: Richard Sparky Bryan |
Distributed: 2006-05-07 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 13144
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
When did Americans stop taking responsibility for their own
actions? My friend agreed
that the slide began in the late 1960's with the growth of the
drug culture.
But he was quick to emphasize that although the sixties began
the slide, the real sharp slope did not arrive until the 1990's.
Along about 1993, the slide began to sharpen. It was not until
early 1998 that the slope became a steep cliff.
High Thread Count Bed Sheets. How Many Threads Does A Bed Sheet Need?
Written by: Liz Beresford |
Distributed: 2004-09-14 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5757
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
High thread count bed sheets, often called percale, are much
advertised, but what exactly does 'high thread' count mean? You
know that it means quality and comfort, but do you know why? It
used to be considered good to have thread count of 180-200 but
thread counts of up to 1000 are advertised these days.. So what
is going on? Does high thread count always mean better quality?
Is there an optimum thread count, and if so what is it?
Muzzling the Motor Mouths: Silence Workplace Windbags
Written by: Bill Lampton Ph.D. |
Distributed: 2005-12-01 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5584
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 0.50
During my twenty-three years in management, I dealt with
blabbermouths frequently, so for the last ten years I have
advised clients on how to silence the workplace windbags.
Here are my suggestions for muzzling the motor mouths:
Better Than Botox is there a Safer Substitute?
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2005-09-08 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5483
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
Women since time immemorial have always looked for ways to
enhance and prolong their beauty. This of course becomes more
difficult as they age.
Transform Your Work Area into a Homey Environment
Written by: Ted Roberson |
Distributed: 2006-02-24 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5344
| Votes: 4 |
Rating: 1.25
Nothing enables one to think and work better than a comfortable
working environment. Especially if you have a sedentary job,
you've got to have little knick knacks around that will enliven
your spirits or which you can look at for inspiration or just
to zone out in relaxation.
12 Ways to Promote Your Business And Website for Free
Written by: Ivana Katz |
Distributed: 2005-03-29 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 5220
| Votes: 3 |
Rating: 0.33
You are very excited!! You have finally created your own
website!! But the trouble is customers aren*t knocking on your
website door. Why? The most probable answer is...
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5065
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 4712
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 4677
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Sell Yourself, Not Your Products or Services
Written by: Bill Platt |
Distributed: 2004-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 4458
| Votes: 2 |
Rating: 0.50
Sell yourself, not your products or services. The point we
need to make is that your products and services will change
over time as your business adapts to the realities of the
marketplace.
Highest Ranked "" Articles
Finding the Adventure in Travel Again
Written by: Helen Bergstein |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 718 |
Page Views: 3758
| Votes: 14 |
Rating: 2.64
If you want to experience adventure at every level of your next
trip, you need to go beyond the usual resorts and places to stay.
If you're like most travelers, personal safety remains a priority,
especially in today's world. A growing number of savvy travelers
have found the perfect balance between adventure and comfort.
Building your Credit to get a Mortgage
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 840 |
Page Views: 4712
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
You are thinking about purchasing real estate. However, you are
not sure if your credit is good enough to get a mortgage. There
are things that you can do to build your credit so that it is
worthy of any mortgage that may interest you.
Flowers Are The Perfect Gift For Father's Day
Written by: Wesley Berry, AAF |
Distributed: 2008-02-20 |
Word Count: 486 |
Page Views: 5065
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 2.09
Dads everywhere have Sonora Smart Dodd to thank for getting
Father's Day started. In 1909, Sonora sat in a church in Spokane,
Washington listening to a sermon expounding on the virtues of
motherhood. But, as she sat there, she thought about how special
her own father was since it was he who raised her after the death
of her mother.
7 Tips to Hiring a Good DJ for your Party
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-11 |
Word Count: 563 |
Page Views: 4677
| Votes: 11 |
Rating: 1.36
If you want to have a party that everyone will be talking about
for days and years later, hire a good DJ to run your music and
light show. Hiring a DJ can actually be fun. Just follow these
simple tips, and you are sure to have a fabulous DJ for your
party.
Ann Arbor, MI Offers A Lot Of Year-Around Family Fun
Written by: Jeb Maxwell |
Distributed: 2010-01-20 |
Word Count: 595 |
Page Views: 3647
| Votes: 8 |
Rating: 1.25
Ann Arbor, Michigan is the home of the University of Michigan, a
leading institution of higher education. Ann Arbor is a wonderful
place to visit. The University is co-mingled with the city and
greatly expands the cultural places and events available in the
area.
How to Decorate Your Home on EBay
Written by: Pamela Cole Harris |
Distributed: 2005-09-14 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 1476
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 1.20
If you are on a budget (and who isn’t?), a wonderful place for
find home decorating accessories is auction sites like eBay. But
before you go a’baying, here is some advice...
The "Proprietary Blend" Nutritional Supplement
Written by: Will Brink |
Distributed: 2006-02-10 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2726
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
In a nut shell, I went onto cover each of these common marketing
terms that are used to sell supplements to unwitting consumers
and explained each in detail as to what I view as their common
misuse within the market place.
Brink's Unified Theory of Nutrition
Written by: Will Brink |
Distributed: 2006-02-24 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 1698
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.60
Regardless of the topic, a unified theory, seeks to explain
seemingly incompatible aspects of various theories. In this
article I attempt to unify seemingly incompatible or opposing
views regarding nutrition, namely, what is probably the longest
running debate in the nutritional sciences: calories vs. macro
nutrients.
7 Steps to Successful Telemarketing
Written by: Kamau Austin |
Distributed: 2006-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2371
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
Telemarketing is not as easy as it looks. Telemarketing involves
talking on the phone to someone you do not know and trying to
convince them to buy a product, use a service, or sign up for a
special offer. Many times, telemarketers fail because they are
not doing the job properly.
Offer More Payment Options than your Competition
Written by: Bill Platt |
Distributed: 2004-05-03 |
Word Count: 0 |
Page Views: 2766
| Votes: 5 |
Rating: 0.40
In order to be successful online, you must provide your
customers many quick and easy ways to pay for your goods
and services. It is not enough to ask folks to send a money
order or check to your house or place of business. You must
do more.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Article Reprint Rights
|
This work is
licensed under a
Creative Commons
License
You are not required to show the creative commons license notice when you reprint this work.
|
|
Article Statistics
|
Word Count: 0
Total Views: 1728
Article Rating: 0.50 of 5
Votes Cast: 2
More Articles By Author:
Articles On This Website
Last Distribution Date:
2005-12-08 18:21:24
Internal ID: #1661
|
|
|
Home