The most sought after human experience among singles is
definitely love. Singles worldwide turn to the growing number of
online dating services with escalating memberships. E-dating is
the new growing love economy. According to a May 2004 report
released by the Online Publishers Association, U.S. consumers
have spent $449.5 million on personals/dating content in 2003,
up nearly 50 percent from the previous year.
Another study conducted by Just Lunch Dating Service revealed
that, "48% of men and 52% of women have used a dating service to
increase their odds of meeting someone. This study also found
that women do care how much money their partner makes. 88% of
women said that money is very important in a relationship. On the
other hand, 46% of men say it doesn't matter how much money their
partner makes. Both sexes agree on one thing: 63% of men and 67%
of women believe that a relationship is more important than a
career."
Apparently, love sells big time to both sexes. With huge
inventories among online dating companies, singles expect to find
their peacock among the feather dusters. These are the times of
Concealed Bathrobe Dating. This dating revolution has made a
dress code unnecessary and make up absolute. As you scrutinize
faces and bodies you see a new beginning in ever cyber-chat.
While it is true that you may collide with your love on this
superhighway to passion, you have just as much of a chance of
downloading a project. The Internet has become a growing social
circle for singles and is flooded with self-promoting profiles,
which are often in need of a more truthful interpretation.
In the world of online dating misrepresentation is at an all time
high. Janice, a fitness enthusiast, was excited about her e-mail
exchange with Rob. He seemed to share her interest in fitness,
health and the outdoors. As they e-mailed about mountain biking,
skiing and golfing, Rob's interest in these activities seemed
real.
When they met it became apparent that Rob was not a fitness or
outdoors enthusiast. In real life he also looked much older than
in the picture that accompanied his online profile. He had
misrepresented himself to impress Janice. Needless to say, they
parted after the first date with mixed feelings. Discovering
incompatibility in e-mail exchanges becomes much easier if you
use the following tips:
BE TRUTHFUL in your own description. While mingling among singles
in a highly competitive environment you may be tempted to paint
your very best picture. Putting your best foot forward does not
mean inflating your image or exaggerating your profile. The key
to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead of
pretending to be what you are not. Being real may not guarantee a
huge number of online dates, but if you are serious about love,
the bottom line is quality, not quantity. To find a like-minded
date, don't play games. When your profile rings true, you will
probably attract someone who is also truthful.
DIG DEEPER once you have begun your email exchange. Ask questions
about his or her life, values, beliefs, hobbies, likes and
dislikes. Rephrase your questions in subsequent e-mails and
compare the answers. Continue to go back to the person's profile
and look for discrepancies. For example, to verify a person's
age, ask when they either left high school or graduated from
university. To find out if he or she really loves hiking, ask
where they usually hike or when they hiked last. To check
employment, ask what he or she does during a regular workday and
if they enjoy their work. Aaron believed he was e-mailing with
the kindest girl he had ever met until he asked Susan about her
relationship with her sister. Susan electronically flew off the
handle describing her sister's mean-spirited character and
calling her names. Aaron new then that he did not like the other
Susan he had just been exposed to. The only thing you risk by
asking questions is that your new e-mail friend will drop "out of
the loop."
BRING UP ISSUES that are important to you. If one of your
priorities is family, talk about your respective families. It
won't take long to find out if this is a shared priority. If you
love traveling, raise this topic to see if there is excitement or
if he or she has even boarded a plane. Perhaps education,
knowledge or current issues are of great interest to you. In that
case, raise these matters in your dialogue to probe his or her
awareness and interest. A healthy lifestyle might be important to
you. Talk about it! There is no point in involving yourself with
someone who has dissimilar interests. Whatever your values,
beliefs or worldviews, use the e-mail exchange to inquire about
these issues. Read between the lines. This practice will help you
to determine compatibility early in the game. Shared values are
important ingredients for long-term commitment.
REMEMBER the reason why you are meeting someone online. If you
just want to increase your circle of friends, by all means have
fun and meet everyone. If you are searching for the love of your
life, be selective and dig deeper. Ask the questions that are
important to you. Don't let the sheer number of available singles
distract you from the human qualities you really seek in a life
partner. Don't waste each other's time. Far too many singles have
depleted their dating energy by e-mailing all night long with
people who they would never introduce to their parents. Keep in
mind, that most singles you meet on the Internet are vulnerable
human beings with a desire to be loved just like you. Be smart,
trust your gut instinct and cut to the chase!
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