8 out of 10 Americans want a new job (Society of HR 
Professionals, Dec. 2003).   When people want to figure 
out their career situation, they are generally looking for 
something that is “better” or more, i.e., more passion, more 
of a challenge, more balance, or more money.    Ironically, 
I’ve found that most clients start the career planning with 
a limited sense of possibility.  
 
Limitations come from: 

 * Lack of confidence ("On one level I know I can start out on 
   my own, but when it comes to doing it, I think I can't; so 
   I don't!") 
 * Self imposed constraints ("I have to be the one to get the 
   health care for my family, so I must have a corporate job" 
   or "I'm not happy but I can't make the time to do anything 
   about it.") 
 * Unchallenged conclusions ("It's irresponsible to consider 
   taking time off — that's like being a 20 year old again" 
   or "I can't switch industries now; I have no experience so 
   nobody will want to hire me.") 
 * Blinding fears ("What if I make the wrong choice — I've made 
   too many mistakes already.  I can't afford to choose wrong 
   again.") 


These statements are all interpretations — what I call "stories" 
— about "facts" that do exist for real in your life. For example,
having no experience in a new industry is an objective "fact"; 
believing that it means you can't enter the new industry is a 
"story." Your constraining self-talk seems like it reflects 
realistic ideas about everyday events. 

But in fact, your "stories" have no materiality to them; they 
are just the product of neurons firing in your brain. "Stories" 
derive from deeply entrenched limiting beliefs. 

If you are unable to move forward, it is usually because you are
seeing your assumptions as "true" or "factual" — something you 
must work around without challenge. You are often unaware that 
you make your "stories" into "facts." For example, "I can't try 
to get a new job in the new industry now" becomes an unchallenged 
truth for you. You limit your spectrum of possible next steps 
and hold back from pursuing possibilities that could be more 
satisfying to you. 

Here's an example: 

After a few discussions about how he could locate another bank 
job, a 40 year old male banker told me he has always wanted to 
work in the film industry. His frequent self talk had been "I 
don't believe I could ever make it in the film industry," "The 
only way my wife will feel safe is if I get our healthcare 
through my bank job," etc.  He was confining his search to 
bank jobs, even though he was unhappy. 

When he developed confidence to overcome his limiting ways of 
thinking, he transitioned to a film industry job for which he 
exudes passion.  He saw that the reasons he had kept himself 
from this dream choice - for 15 years! - were all self imposed. 
He "Got out of his own way." 

Similarly, without this kind of process: 

  An IT professional would have continued his 2 year 
   procrastination and not started his own company. 
 * A languishing MBA grad would never have seized a desired job 
   as hedge fund analyst. 
 * A female lawyer client would never have pursued a 3 month 
   sabbatical to paint in Rome. 


Unrealistic?  That's what they thought at the beginning, too! 

Here’s another example: 

In a delightful book called The Art of Possibility (by Roslyn 
and Ben Zander), there is a good example of how unchallenged 
“stories” determine one’s reality.  Two shoe salesmen are sent 
to Africa and send a telegram home to their companies.  The 
first writes:  “No one in Africa wears shoes.   I’m coming 
home.”   The second writes:  “No one in Africa wears shoes. 
Score!  Send over the sales team!”  Same facts — different 
“stories” about the facts.  Who’s going to have a more 
successful career?


Where Might You Be Self Imposing Constraints On Your Career? 

Career coaches help you figure out your skills and interests 
after you have an unblocked sense of these. But until you "get 
out of your own way," a career counselor can only help you pursue 
the limits of your conscious possibilities. Avoid making next 
steps that keep you stuck in a rut or still dissatisfied. "Get 
out of your own way first.”  


Managing your Negative Voice

When you are considering making a decision, notice all of the 
statements that get activated in response to your considerations 
– it may even help to write them down.  

Notice how many of these statements reflect assumptions you’ve 
made and then acted on as if they were “objectively” true.   
Notice how these “stories” about the “facts” constrain and 
demoralize you.      

You do this hundreds of times a week, except that you don’t 
realize it because you truly believe that the “stories” you tell 
are true, so why challenge them.  Whether it has to do with your 
career search process or not, believe in yourself enough to check 
out your hunches, get factual confirmation, and find a creative 
way around the barriers you have imposed.    


Action Steps

1) Track the kinds of “stories” that you seem to tell often – 
   these “automatic stories” are the filter through which you 
   see the world.   
2) Give yourself the exercise to have to tell “3 alternative 
   stories” before you can act.   
3) Clearly articulate what you want for your life or for the 
   situation; then choose the story that is in the service of 
   your goals in life. 

Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. helps “talented and successful people get 
out of their own way.”  Sign up for her 5-week teleseminar that 
helps you Get Rid of Your Negative Voice – Forever
( http://www.sharonmelnick.com/index.htm)  
Check out the life changes others have had using her proven 
process to identify your blocks and unleash you from them.  
Learn more about her offerings at her website, 
http://www.sharonmelnick.com