Your heart is beating faster than usual, your hands feel clammy, 
your mouth is so dry it feels like you have cotton inside -- and 
you're supposed to feel confident. Are you going to an interview 
or a torture session? The answer is --"it's all in your 
perspective."

Ideally you would sit poised thumbing through a magazine, feeling 
relaxed as you wait your turn to have a conversation with the 
interviewer for the company. Think about it -- what do you have 
to lose here? What's the worst thing that can happen? What if you 
don't get this job -- is the world going to stop turning? I 
realize of course, that bills must be paid, but you are taking 
the wrong approach if you are going to come across as desperate -
- "Please, please, hire me." Interviewers smell fear.


A change in thinking

The first, and most important step is to change the way that you 
view the interview. This is not an appointment with the dentist 
who may inflict pain. It is a conversation with another person. 
What is the worst thing that can happen as a result of the 
interview? You won't get the job, which may not have been the 
right job for you anyway.

Secondly, this is a conversation -- a two-way process. You will 
be interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Is 
there a good fit here -- both ways? What looks good on paper may 
not be what it appears -- for either party. It will be part of 
your job during the interview to investigate whether this a good 
place for you, and whether you want to invest a significant part 
of your life here. When you are not checking them out and what 
they have to offer you are missing an opportunity that you may 
regret later.


Calming techniques

One of the best techniques to handle stress is through breathing. 
Take deliberate, shallow breaths. Take air in through the 
nostrils and exhale quietly through your mouth. This is a 
technique that should be practiced as a relaxation technique 
before the interview so that your body gets used to slowing down 
the breathing process and relaxing.

Relaxation techniques such as yoga, and meditation classes, are 
recommended for anyone who has an extreme case of "interview 
fright." The interview can cause panic attacks if the fear is 
strong enough. Pre-conditioning will do wonders for this type of 
anxiety.


Preparation before the interview

These are competitive times and you should steel yourself to 
expect some rejection. Think about it this way, "Did you get a 
marriage proposal after every date?" Well, you probably aren't 
going to get a job offer after every interview.

For every job you apply for there are more than likely three to 
four equally qualified candidates in line for the same job. 
Whether you stand out from "the crowd" will depend on your 
preparation and ability to show confidence in yourself --
believing that you are the "best candidate for this job." How can 
you possibly sell anyone anything if you don't believe in it 
yourself?

Preparation will make you feel more confident and less anxious. 
Can you imagine giving a performance without some practice and 
preparation? "Winging" the interview in today's market is a big 
mistake.


Fear of Rejection

You may have had a number of interviews with no offer. You may be 
feeling defeated, and it's beginning to affect your-self esteem.

This would be true of anyone. But it is a mistake to take it 
personally. There are so many factors that could be affecting the 
offer that it is impossible to say what is happening. There may 
be internal candidates, relatives promised jobs, a competitor who 
is a perfect match for the job, a lack of chemistry between you 
and the new boss, a mismatch in salary needs, etc., etc.


Let it go

Give yourself credit for getting an interview -- only a small 
percentage of people get this far in the process. Give yourself 
credit for going out there and putting yourself on the line, even 
though it is painful for you. Give yourself permission to not get 
job offers. Believe that an offer will come through when it is 
the right offer -- the right fit for the company and for you. 
Take the control back and reject the feeling of fear.

When you have done everything to prepare for the interview, and 
you are satisfied that you can present yourself in the best light 
possible, the next step is for you to let it go. You can learn 
something from each interview. Learn to enjoy meeting new people 
and having new experiences. Who knows you may even grow to like 
interviewing. 

Carole Martin is a celebrated author, trainer, and an interview
coach. Her books, "Interview Fitness Training Workbook" and
"Boost Your Interview IQ" (McGraw Hill) have sold thousands of
copies world-wide. Receive Carole's FREE 9-week job interview e-
course by visiting her web site at: http://www.interviewcoach.com
or:  http://www.interviewfitnesstraining.com