A young friend (about age 30) and I (age 75) were talking
about all the "junk" we collect over time. The conversation
turned to how much "junk" her mother had, and I said I understood
because by the time you reach my age, even if you are not a
chronic pack rat, "junk" accumulates. My lame excuse for
saving things is that I work full time and deciding what to
get rid of is not a priority. Another justification is that
I grew up during the Great Depression, always wanting
"things" of my own -- and now I've got them. Get rid of
them? You're kidding!
The conversation with my young friend shifted to her brother
still living at home. He needed more space in the garage
for his car, and Mama's "junk" was taking up more space than
he deemed necessary, so he threw some of it out when Mama
was not at home. "She'll never miss it," he rationalized.
It appears that more than a few adult children feel the
same way. On several occasions my Boomer-age daughter, who
doesn't live with or near me, and should not be bothered by
my junk, has suggested, "Why don't you get rid of all this
stuff."
What should it matter to adult children, living in their
own home with junk of their own, how much stuff you collect?
After you are gone, they can back up a garbage truck to the
garage, and get rid of it. On the other hand, if they are
smart, they will hold on to the treasures, or have a garage
sale. Some of the stuff my generation has been saving from
"day one" now has antique status and may have value, perhaps
not to unappreciative children, but to savvy collectors.
Let me explain something to adult children about old people,
i.e., their parents: If retired, there probably are no more
long or even short term goals, no more exciting dreams or
aspirations -- nothing to strive for. Life is lived as a
pastime -- golf, gardening, travel, shopping. "Remember
when" is an integral part of a typical retiree's
conversation. And that's okay.
Those scraps of material Mama has been saving that you
think she doesn't need and won't miss are tangible evidence
of a happy time that can be revisited by touching or seeing
those pieces of cloth. It gives her a warm and fuzzy
feeling when emotional warmth may be in short supply.
Until there is a good reason to do otherwise, leave Mama
alone with all her junk. It's not yours to dispose of until
she dies or asks you to get rid of it. You would not be
happy if she came into your home while you were away and
threw out what she considered "junk.” After all, you are
at an age when you've already collected a few useless
trinkets that have great meaning to you but would be rated
"junk" by others.
What goes around comes around. Respect rights of others,
especially your parents. Your young children will learn
from your good example and if you are lucky, they will not
throw out your precious "junk" behind your back when you
are old.
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