Years ago, when I was new in management circles, a veteran 
administrator decided to share his self-described secret of 
success. He said: You have to be careful, Bill.  I've learned 
not to compliment my people.  Makes them too self-assured, 
and they get lax in their work habits.  Better to keep them 
guessing.

As I listened, I uttered silent thanks, grateful that Don was a 
professional acquaintance--and not my boss.  Both intuitively 
and from experience, I knew that managers build loyalty when 
they celebrate their employees' successes with compliments.

To use a familiar analogy, criticism has the same impact on 
people that salt does on plants.  Stated positively, compliments 
act as nutrients for people, just as fertilizer does for flowers.

Having played golf for several decades, I remember the teaching 
professionals who helped me the least--and the most.  The least 
helpful were those who spent the whole half hour describing my 
faults: bending your left arm. . .not enough weight shift. . .
tempo is too fast. Jim, my favorite pro, accents the positives: 
swinging better than last time. . .hit that shot really square 
. . .now that's the way to finish in balance.  Not surprisingly, 
I wanted to swing better for Jim.

When I think of compliments, I remember my father's advice.  For 
forty years, he managed a sizable department store.  When I took 
my first supervisory position in higher education, he counseled 
me:  Bill, one thing I have learned is that workers perform 
better when we let them know we appreciate their performance.  
Remember to commend those who do well.  Then they'll keep 
improving.

During the twenty-three years I spent as a department head, I 
followed his recommendation.  Even a simple comment--You did a 
good job drafting those letters--boosted morale and cultivated 
organizational loyalty.

As a communication specialist, there are several tips I will 
share about using compliments. 

Avoid flattery, say no more than the situation merits. While 
flattery exaggerates our evaluation, the compliment reflects our 
honest opinion. For example, if you choose to tell an employee 
that she handled that customer superbly, better than anyone 
else could possibly have done, she might silently question your 
authenticity.  A more believable comment: I liked the way you 
helped that customer.  I'm sure you made a good impression she 
will remember.

An employee--just like a friend or family member--detects 
shallow praise.  Fortunately, when you have deep convictions 
about the praise you extend, co-workers will sense your 
authenticity.

This leads to a second characteristic of a compliment: It sounds 
realistic.  If somebody told me that I am a wonderful dancer, I 
might laugh out loud.  Sadly, so would my wife, who has endured 
my errant feet for a long time.

Be timely in issuing compliments.  We should give the compliment 
almost immediately after the event that prompts our praise.  
Imagine that on Tuesday Dorothy makes the biggest sale she has 
ever made.  Clearly, her training has brought beautiful results. 
Even fellow employees admire her accomplishments with this 
order. 

If you wait until Friday to compliment her, you've lost a grand 
opportunity.  Give her your attention before Tuesday ends, while 
she's still aglow with pride.  Try this:  Dorothy, I think you 
noticed that all of us were delighted with that special order 
you handled today.  You've made lots of progress, and it shows.

Another tip:  Issue compliments in moderation.  Managers lose 
credibility when they praise employees too frequently.  Like the 
most gorgeous flower, a compliment becomes grander with irregular
appearance.  No, we can't go as far as my colleague Don, never 
issuing favorable comments.  However, good judgment will help us 
find the reasonable pacing that works.

Again:  Use compliments in proper context.  When you tell Fred 
late in the day that he is one of your most dependable people, 
your compliment becomes suspect when you add: Oh, by the way, 
Fred, you're supposed to have Saturday off, but I'm going to 
have to ask you to come in then to help us handle those weekend 
wedding orders.  Any time a compliment appears manipulative, it 
loses force. . .and we lose face.

Yes, compliments can be chancy. Some employees might accuse us 
of playing favorites, being too syrupy, or trying to win favor 
for our hidden agendas.  Risky, that's true. . .but worth the 
risk.

When you become known for offering genuine, realistic 
compliments in moderation, at the right time, and in the proper 
setting, you'll notice your employees responding positively.  
In fact, they will compliment you for your thoughtfulness and 
encouragement.