If you're like most people I know, myself included, the start of
a new year is pregnant with possibility. You write down your
deepest hopes and dreams in little lists, which most often look
astonishingly similar to ones from years gone by. No matter what
you tried before, certain goals just never made it off the paper
and many were forgotten by May. I'm here to tell you you're not
alone - the vast majority of people feel exactly the same way -
which is why this whole Start-Of-A-New-Year-Goal-Making
Enterprise can be just plain frustrating. But I'm going to share
with you a few secrets that will make this year different.
First I want you to think of one goal you really want this year.
Write it down here: _________________
Then I want you to answer this question: Do you really want to
_________________?
Most people look at me like I'm mad and say without hesitation
"Of course!". Why else would they bother writing it down, right?
Of course, you want to lose weight, get a new job, find romance
in your marriage again, really know who you are, and experience
joy and happiness in your life each and every day. Of course, you
want your life to be better!
But that's the mistake. You assume that because you consciously
want it, that all of you wants it. The truth is that 9 times out
of 10, especially with those "repeat goals", you don't. Quite
simply, you don't really want what you think you want.
This paradox between what we think we want and what we really
want exists for everyone and is an inner conflict few people are
aware of. So while the conscious, thinking part of us says it
would be great to start on that new nutrition plan or hobby this
year, our non-conscious levels are secretly disagreeing. This is
the major reason why it is so hard to overcome certain tendencies
we all have be it avoiding exercise, indulging in one too many
chocolate bars, not applying for that new job, or neglecting our
closest relationships.
So now that you know you're in good company and why it's so hard
to attain those goals, what can you do about it? I use four
simple steps:
First, you need to make sure that the goal is in alignment with
your core essence. Sometimes we want things because of social or
familial programming, even if it isn't who we really are.
Examples are a doctor who really wants to be a river guide or an
artist who is happiest doing accounting. So ask yourself, what
makes you tick? What states of being feed you? If your goal will
help the real you grow, then keep it on the list. If not, then
graciously let it and all its ties go.
Second, you need to address the paradox. Your non-conscious
levels must change from not supporting your goal to supporting
it. To do this, your non-conscious levels must shift their
orientation. It's like you stuck your finger in a light socket
and your hair is sticking up straight all over your head. At the
end of each strand of hair is a plug and each of those plugs is
plugged into some aspect of not accomplishing your goal. Close
your eyes and unplug from all of those until your hair is no
longer looking like Medusa. Take a deep breathe and feel the
difference. Now take all those plugs and plug them into
accomplishing your goal. When you do this you are energetically
and neurologically creating new patterns that support your goals
on all levels of your being.
Third, you need to come up with a list of action steps that you
can do and give them deadlines. If you're looking for a new
career, it might include revising your resume, researching job
opportunities, and interviewing people who do that kind of work.
If it's your relationship, you'll need to set aside time to talk
and to play together, in addition to learning new relationship
tools. Remember, you can't achieve your goal without doing
something about it!
Fourth, you've got to understand the rules of the game (the game
being Life) and flow with the journey you're on. The easiest path
is to embrace what is while creating what you want, just like
Hummingbird did in my previous column. The Universe has a sense
of timing and purpose you can't control. Your job is to let the
Universe know what you'd like and what you're doing to make it
happen, and then let it go.
Using these four steps you can make 2006 the year when your goals
step off the paper and into your life. I wish you success and joy
along the way!
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