The numbers are chilling. Teen suicide and homicide rates have 
tripled from twenty years ago. There is a 50% increase in 
childhood obesity. Teenage pregnancy rates are the highest for 
any Western society. SAT scores have plummeted.  15-20% of kids 
are flunking kindergarten. Millions of children are medicated 
to be more “manageable” at home and school. One of the ongoing 
tragedies in our culture is that these problems are occurring in 
our most precious national resource, our children. Can these 
stats be turned around?  Yes, and much of it can be prevented. 

Here are the 5 basic prevention factors in raising good kids: 
good parenting, physical nourishment, love, guidance and 
environmental benefits.  Simple Simon right?  It sounds easy, yet 
Dr. Michael Dana, life coach and an expert in juvenile affairs 
for the Federal government states, “The mission of good parenting 
is the fostering of children in a manner that allows them to grow 
up to be normal, productive and law-abiding adults who have 
successfully realized their God-given potential.”  So what does 
that mean to you and I as parents?


Here’s Dr. Dana’s Number 1 Key:

Effective parenting starts with being involved in your children’s 
lives. 

In our busyness, we are often distracted and not really “with” 
our children. Giving children quantity and quality time, in 
today’s world is hard!  Parents who are striving to spend more 
time with their children are learning to be creative.  Barb, a 
busy mom of 2 girls, works part time so she can be home when her 
girls come home from school.  ”I want to make the most of every 
moment I spend with Kimmy and Carleigh.   Even the time we spend 
in the car running errands can be productive; we play word games, 
work on spelling, or play audio books on CD.  My girls know I’m 
interested in their school work and learning is more fun when we 
do it together.”

Dr. Dana, dad of three, emphasizes: some Be-Attitudes for 
Parents:

Be aware. Be a listener. Be good at helping your children 
express their feelings. Be engaged. 

Participate in your child’s activities and interests. This can 
be done in a variety of ways - by talking about family history, 
allowing them to have free time to play and explore, through 
reading good classical and faith-based literature, establishing 
family traditions, and by sharing your own life experiences.

There is an urgent need for families to lessen their hurried 
lifestyles and become a haven, one that is nurturing for both 
children and adults.  Dr. David Elkind’s advice, in his landmark 
book, “The Hurried Child” written more than—can you believe it--
20 years ago, seems to have gone unheeded. “The pressure to grow 
up fast, to achieve early is a driving force in middle-class 
America. There is no room today for the "late bloomer"... 
Children have to achieve success early or they are regarded 
as losers.” Many parents push their kids to be involved in 
activities because they feel peer group pressure to make their 
children as competent as the neighbor’s kids. This not only robs 
hurried children of a childhood, but also robs them of the most 
important gift a parent can give - their undivided time and 
attention.


Family mealtimes, traditionally an occasion of family bonding, 
has seen a decline in modern times.  Working mothers, who 
customarily carry the weight of this responsibility, often find 
it difficult to make regular home-cooked meals a reality.  Bill 
and Nancy, both working parents, felt increasingly scattered and 
distant from their teenaged boys.  They determined to prioritize 
their time as a family.  Nancy finally came up with a solution -
she marshaled the family to help on the weekend with cooking 
meals for the week.  “This made all the difference in the world; 
we realized that our boys only had a few years left at home and 
we were missing it. Not only did the extra planning and time pay 
off in helping my boys learn their way around the kitchen, we 
experienced a lot more communication and connecting as a family.”

Parents as a group, are the least prepared to tackle the most 
challenging, and yet rewarding job of raising children.  Think 
how much time and expense is spent learning a profession.  Dr. 
Dana offers this advice,  “No parent is perfect, but those 
parents who truly want the best for their children should 
always be vigilant to get support and education.”  So follow 
Dr. Dana’s number 1 key to preventing problem kids and get 
involved before someone else requires you to get involved. 

Pam Jarvis is Services Coordinator for Alan Randall and possesses
a true gift for bringing out the best in people. After receiving 
her bachelor's degree in speech pathology, she taught for over 
15 years in private and public education. Pam is a certified in 
the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and has been a successful
facilitator and liaison in many non-profit organizations, 
including a parents' advocate group for alternative educational 
approaches. ARARealLife, provides absolutely confidential 
consultation for those desiring assistance to become more 
effective personally, professionally, spiritually, and 
family-wise. For more information, you can visit 
http://ARARealLife.com or call 703-758-2366 ext.22 
for a free introductory coaching session.