The numbers are chilling. Teen suicide and homicide rates have
tripled from twenty years ago. There is a 50% increase in
childhood obesity. Teenage pregnancy rates are the highest for
any Western society. SAT scores have plummeted. 15-20% of kids
are flunking kindergarten. Millions of children are medicated
to be more “manageable” at home and school. One of the ongoing
tragedies in our culture is that these problems are occurring in
our most precious national resource, our children. Can these
stats be turned around? Yes, and much of it can be prevented.
Here are the 5 basic prevention factors in raising good kids:
good parenting, physical nourishment, love, guidance and
environmental benefits. Simple Simon right? It sounds easy, yet
Dr. Michael Dana, life coach and an expert in juvenile affairs
for the Federal government states, “The mission of good parenting
is the fostering of children in a manner that allows them to grow
up to be normal, productive and law-abiding adults who have
successfully realized their God-given potential.” So what does
that mean to you and I as parents?
Here’s Dr. Dana’s Number 1 Key:
Effective parenting starts with being involved in your children’s
lives.
In our busyness, we are often distracted and not really “with”
our children. Giving children quantity and quality time, in
today’s world is hard! Parents who are striving to spend more
time with their children are learning to be creative. Barb, a
busy mom of 2 girls, works part time so she can be home when her
girls come home from school. ”I want to make the most of every
moment I spend with Kimmy and Carleigh. Even the time we spend
in the car running errands can be productive; we play word games,
work on spelling, or play audio books on CD. My girls know I’m
interested in their school work and learning is more fun when we
do it together.”
Dr. Dana, dad of three, emphasizes: some Be-Attitudes for
Parents:
Be aware. Be a listener. Be good at helping your children
express their feelings. Be engaged.
Participate in your child’s activities and interests. This can
be done in a variety of ways - by talking about family history,
allowing them to have free time to play and explore, through
reading good classical and faith-based literature, establishing
family traditions, and by sharing your own life experiences.
There is an urgent need for families to lessen their hurried
lifestyles and become a haven, one that is nurturing for both
children and adults. Dr. David Elkind’s advice, in his landmark
book, “The Hurried Child” written more than—can you believe it--
20 years ago, seems to have gone unheeded. “The pressure to grow
up fast, to achieve early is a driving force in middle-class
America. There is no room today for the "late bloomer"...
Children have to achieve success early or they are regarded
as losers.” Many parents push their kids to be involved in
activities because they feel peer group pressure to make their
children as competent as the neighbor’s kids. This not only robs
hurried children of a childhood, but also robs them of the most
important gift a parent can give - their undivided time and
attention.
Family mealtimes, traditionally an occasion of family bonding,
has seen a decline in modern times. Working mothers, who
customarily carry the weight of this responsibility, often find
it difficult to make regular home-cooked meals a reality. Bill
and Nancy, both working parents, felt increasingly scattered and
distant from their teenaged boys. They determined to prioritize
their time as a family. Nancy finally came up with a solution -
she marshaled the family to help on the weekend with cooking
meals for the week. “This made all the difference in the world;
we realized that our boys only had a few years left at home and
we were missing it. Not only did the extra planning and time pay
off in helping my boys learn their way around the kitchen, we
experienced a lot more communication and connecting as a family.”
Parents as a group, are the least prepared to tackle the most
challenging, and yet rewarding job of raising children. Think
how much time and expense is spent learning a profession. Dr.
Dana offers this advice, “No parent is perfect, but those
parents who truly want the best for their children should
always be vigilant to get support and education.” So follow
Dr. Dana’s number 1 key to preventing problem kids and get
involved before someone else requires you to get involved.
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