Have you noticed what happens when you judge something? Let say 
tomatoes for instance, you tried one once and you felt very ill 
or came out in rash even. So now you don’t like them, you have 
nothing to do with them, urgh, you keep them away. Now lets 
suppose tomatoes are your favorite food, you just love ‘em. So 
you always have some in the house ready to eat and you know all 
kinds of delicious ways to cook them. You even like to have them 
on display in a bowl because of the pleasant feelings they evoke 
when you look at them.

Have you noticed that this same sorting process takes place in 
all areas of your life? You are in a closer relationship with 
things you like and a more distant relationship from the people 
or things you do not like. It goes further than that though as 
it applies also to how you relate to the disparate parts of 
yourself. 

Back to the tomatoes. How would it be if you sought to find 
out what it was about tomatoes that affected you? You still 
recognized that they were not a good thing for you to eat but 
you were curious non the less and did some research and found 
that there was a certain enzyme that reacted in some way with 
your digestive system. I suggest that in that very process of 
becoming curious a great deal of the “negative charge” around 
tomatoes would dissipate because you then moved into a closer 
relationship with them and now understand why they disagree 
with you.

This is the attitude we need to develop in our lives if we are 
to live more fully and abundantly. We need a curious observer 
rather than judgmental observer in our minds eye. This idea can 
be demonstrated very easily in our romantic relationships. Lets 
suppose you have a new partner that promises to be everything 
you had ever dreamed a partner could be. You are head over heals 
in love; it feels great and joyful. However the months pass and 
you notice some behavior from your new love that you consider 
inconsiderate and do not like very much. Now the doubts start 
to set in, maybe you are wrong again, maybe cupid has sold you 
short. A small aspect of your love seems to have died because of 
this inconsiderate behavior. You become more distant from your 
love.

Now I am not suggesting that you should accept inconsiderate 
behavior without challenge or question. What I am suggesting 
is that if you approached this errant behavior of your partner 
with curiosity rather than judgment that you might then find 
yourselves becoming closer again. You could say to your partner 
“Do you realize that I feel sad, unseen and undervalued when 
you, blah blah blah, and I want to tell you so that we can 
better understand what is happening.” They probably do not 
realize you feel this way at all. 

With that simple act of questioning in a non threatening manner 
you begin to draw them closer to you again. If all goes well 
they will recognize their part in your discomfort and possibly 
share some of their unstated discomfort with you also. This will 
bring you both closer to one another again. If they react highly 
defensively instead then you will at least be comforted by the 
knowledge that you stayed true to yourself and spoke your truth. 
What more can you do? Their reaction is just that, theirs, it 
is about them not you. How can you ever get closer to anything 
or anyone by pushing them away? Surely the potential rewards 
are worth the risk of a negative reaction?

Where else in your life are negative judgments holding you 
separate from the fulfillment of your desires? If you want 
greater financial abundance but also believe that desiring 
money is wrong then you will seriously struggle to improve 
your financial health. If you look deeper into the basis of 
your judgments around money you can then begin to get closer 
to the financial well being you may seek. Surely money is not 
the problem so much as how we use it? You could use money most 
wisely and differently perhaps?

I suggest that you continually question your judgments and watch 
how you push and pull with them in the workings of your life. 
Also look at how you push and pull within yourself with your 
self-judgments, the so-called war within. How might you bring 
peace to that?

Have fun with your judgments, look at the inconsistencies and 
contradictions, laugh, enjoy, play, be curious. 

Chris Jackson is a successful businessman as well as a highly 
trained therapist. He runs The Abundance Site which highlights 
our creative process and provides resources and inspiration 
for others to risk actually living the life of their dreams.
His site can be found at: http://www.theabundancesite.com