What makes a day "bad"? We all have days where we feel out of
whack in some way, at a low ebb etc. This may be prompted by
some known event such as a poor nights sleep because of a
teething baby or by other life difficulties. At other times we
may just feel that "we got out of the wrong side of the bed in
the morning".
So what do we do about it? I know I prefer to feel in whack
rather than out of it. Can we get back in whack at will?
Yes, by listening to ourselves.
The technique that works best for me is to follow my discomfort
rather than trying to escape or avoid it. It goes like this:
* Firstly you have to recognize that you actually do feel out
of whack. Accept it rather than denying it. How are you?
"Oh, I'm fine." Know the pattern? Come out of denial and
learn what is happening.
* Feel into your discomfort, and I do mean feel rather than
analyze. Its almost as if you are parenting your self. Any
discomfort in your life is a call for your conscious
attention, for healing.
* Now ask inwardly what you need to do for yourself in order
to resolve these uncomfortable feelings.
* Thoughts and ideas will spring to mind immediately, watch
these pass much as if you are scanning a dinner menu.
* Notice which, if any, of these possible options *feels* the
most uplifting even if it does not seem especially rational.
* Your mind maybe telling you to snap out of it and rationalizing
your way back into avoidance or some other familiar pattern
of denial.
* Keep directing your attention towards a solution. Ask yourself
what is here now, what do I need?
* Listen, feel, observe, have the courage to honour your needs,
be meticulously honest with yourself. You may need a nap, you
may need to call a friend, you may need fresh food, you may
need a new job...listen and act. Follow the feelings and you
will bring your self back into alignment, what feels good is
good. And the good feelings will empower you to follow through
with the necessary action that will further support you.
* But be truly honest, eating a whole tub of ice-cream is
unlikely to be much of a solution. You are looking for a much
more whole and "complete" feeling than the soft anesthetic of
impulse buying or comfort food.
Using this technique you are bringing a "greater" aspect of
yourself into your life as an ally. You become the observer of
you, the compassionate observer, and this simply takes a great
deal of the charge away from your problems.
There is a flow to life with a wave motion, an expansion and
contraction, peaks and troughs. In all things and areas of our
lives. Generally we prefer the expansion part because this feels
full, exciting and hopeful. The contraction aspects take us away
from our previous feelings of well-being but can be equally
satisfying if we relax and flow with the wave.
By observing yourself as you traverse these contours of life
you will become far better able to deal with life's setbacks
from the viewpoint of an empowered co-creator.
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