Each year, for too many of us, the holiday season just doesn't 
live up to our expectations. Instead of joy, it brings stress; 
instead of peace, it brings tension; instead of love, it brings 
animosity.  This holiday, let's do something different. Let's 
let ourselves and our family enjoy the season! Here's how to 
begin:


1. Don't make yourself crazy this year! If the house isn't 
   perfect, who cares? Friends and family come for the memories 
   and the companionship, not to count the dust bunnies. And if 
   you have dust bunnies, just paint 'em red and green and 
   pretend they are part of the décor! Next year, when they 
   remember the holiday, they won't remember the books out 
   of place or the stain on the rug, they will remember how 
   relaxed they felt in your home.

2. Don't force togetherness! Some family members love you 
   dearly, but they find mandatory togetherness an ordeal.  
   Let them spend the holiday in ways that make them happy, 
   not in ways you have determined they should. Leave them 
   free to join the gathering of their free will, not out of 
   family guilt. They will love you for it!

3. Remember that the holiday is about joy, not a grim march to 
   buy "stuff."  Nobody wants you to put yourself in debt over 
   your head to give them something they may not even remember 
   by next Christmas. While a gift of sacrifice of the heart 
   given with love is what the season is all about, all too 
   often we give gifts of sacrifice of the pocketbook in lieu 
   of love.

4. If you have "always" made the holiday meal, give it up this 
   year. Have a potluck with everyone contributing! It will 
   give you more time to enjoy the company and will give them 
   all a chance to show off their special culinary expertise! 
   (And you might find a new favorite holiday dish!)

5. Give your family what they really want for Christmas - your 
   attention and praise! They may not remember that tie you 
   spent hours picking out for them, but they will remember 
   the moments you spent telling them how proud you are of the 
   person they have become. They may not use the bubble bath, 
   but they could use your forgiveness and understanding. They 
   may not be warmed by sweaters or afghans, but they will be 
   warmed by your love and caring. 

This year, as families gather together for the holiday season, 
remember that what will endure from this year's celebrations 
are the gifts of memories, connections, time, praise, and 
love. And these things you can't buy, can't polish, can't bake 
(contrary to advertisements!), and can't mandate. So let's do 
something different for the holidays this year - let's just 
enjoy! And who knows, we just might have the best holiday ever!