Too often the Christmas Season becomes a time of obligation,
stress, and guilt, rather than a time of joyful and meaningful
celebration. It is so easy to become overwhelmed by the shopping,
the parties, the events, and the decorating. It seems that we are
often trying to live up to an ideal around Christmas – to have
that perfect Christmas where no one gets angry or frustrated,
where everyone get along as you enjoy a perfect meal in a
perfectly decorated home. We can end up feeling disappointed
when our expectations are not met or overwhelmed by trying to do
it all or do too much. After so much stress and disappointment it
is easy to feel like you just want to "bow out" of Christmas
altogether!
I think that we sometimes get caught up in all of the hoopla
around Christmas because we get caught up in doing what we think
we "should" be doing or in trying to meet other's expectations.
Most of us never take the time to sit down and really think about
what we want our Christmas to look like. As you enter into this
Christmas Season, please remember that you can choose how your
Christmas looks. You can choose what you want to do and you can
create your own family rituals that will give you a sense of
peace, belonging, and comfort. What I want for you is to
recapture the joy and magic and wonder of Christmas and to be
nurtured, healed, and restored by the blessings of this Season.
Tips for a Stress Free Christmas
1. Make a list of what you really want to do this Christmas. If
you have a partner or family, ask them what they would really
enjoy doing this Christmas. This could be dinner at Grandma's,
skating in the park, going on a Christmas light tour, watching
your favorite Christmas movies, etc. Plan to do these things over
the holidays.
2. Set aside time for yourself each day for quiet reflection.
3. Decide how many invitations/week you will accept and from
whom. Only accept invitations to events that you really want to
go to.
4. Make a list of the simple things about Christmas that nourish
your soul and bring you joy. This could be sitting in the dark
looking at the Christmas tree, walking in the snow, watching the
snowfall with a hot cup of cocoa, making shortbread, etc. Make
time to do these things.
5. Gifts.
There are many things you can do around gift giving. First is to
make a budget and stick to it. If you have time and energy you
may want to make gifts for your family members. If money is
tight, a gift of your time and talents through a babysitting
coupon, yard work, or a dinner invitation to your home may be in
order. I know of one extended family that chose to sponsor a
child through an aid organization rather than exchange gifts.
6. Cards.
There are a number of options here. You may choose to forgo cards
all together and instead phone one person a day over the month of
December. You may choose to send out your Cards in January or
February when you have more time. A friend of mine sent a
handmade card with a photo of their family glued to it. Inside
the card she wrote single words that captured what the family had
been up to that year. It was wonderful in that I had a real sense
of what their family had been doing and yet it was so simple.
As for our family, my husband enjoys writing a Christmas letter
full of photos that we mail out each year. Now, I know Christmas
letters often get a bad wrap but I for one enjoy them. A letter
written from the heart that includes all the good and bad of your
past year is a way to share with others. I have lived a number
of different places in my life and often the only contact I have
with people from these places is through an annual Christmas
letter. I love to receive these letters - it helps to maintain
that connection for me.
7. Baking.
Start making cookies in November and freeze them for later.
Organize a cookie exchange with your neigbours or purchase
cookies from the bakery or caterer.
8. Meals.
When you are cooking meals now, make double and freeze the extra
for a December evening meal.
9. Entertaining.
Decide how often you want to entertain and book the times now.
Simplicity
We often hear the need for more simplicity at Christmas. I think
this misses the point. To me, the best approach is to do those
things that you love to do. If you love buying gifts for loved
ones, then do so. If you love decorating your house, the do it!
If you love writing Christmas cards then write them!
The whole idea is to do the things that nurture you and your
family and to do them in a way that does not leave you feeling
overwhelmed and exhausted. Know what you love, know what you
want your Christmas to look like, know what you can do given the
time and money available, and then enjoy!
The key is to take the time and really think about how you want
your Christmas to look and to remember the true gifts of this
Season. These are the Divine gifts of Spirit of unconditional
love, peace, joy, hope, compassion, and generosity. Your ideal
Christmas can be grounded in these gifts when you choose to do
so; when you orient your Christmas celebrations around what is
meaningful to you and brings you joy.
Coaching Questions
* How can your Christmas reflect what is important and meaningful
to you and your family?
* What do you need to do to ensure that you can be emotionally
connected to the people in your life over the holidays this year?
* What will nourish your Soul and bring you joy over the
holidays? How can you foster the gifts of Spirit in your life?
Actions
1. Commit to doing the things that you love about Christmas and
to letting go of the things that you do not. Write out what an
ideal Christmas would look like to you and start taking action to
make that ideal your reality.
2. Set boundaries around your time and energy. Know in advance
how you will decide which social invitations to accept and how
many you want to attend each week. Block off an evening a week
for you and your family where there are no plans.
3. Consider how you want to feel (peaceful, festive, joyful?) and
how you want to be (emotionally connected, able to give your
undivided attention to the people in your life, compassionate?)
over the holidays.
What do you need to have in place for this to happen?
4. Consider what Christmas means to you at a spiritual level and
how you can foster that awareness over the holidays. How can you
bring the gifts of the Christmas season (love, peace, joy, hope,
compassion, and generosity) into your everyday living?
This year, may your Christmas be joyful and bright. May it
reflect what is important and meaningful to you. May it be a time
of peace and renewal. May you experience all of the blessings of
this most sacred of seasons.
Peace and Joy
Jan
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