Okay, you've made the big decision to live with your significant
other. While I don't mean to put a damper on the romance, there
are some important practical concerns you need to address.
First of all, where will you live? Will you share a home in which
one of you already lives or will you find a place that's new to
both of you?
If you share someone else's home, what are your rights? What
happens if something goes wrong with the relationship? Will you
find yourself out in the cold with nowhere to go? These are
things you need to address before you make the move. I know,
you're all starry-eyed now and can't imagine that will ever
change. I hope it won't, but you still have to be prepared in
case it does.
Before you move in, make sure that you and your partner discuss
this issue and reach a mutually satisfying agreement. I also
recommend that this agreement be in writing.
Who Pays What?
Whether you move to a totally new place or share an existing
apartment, you need to agree on who will be responsible for rent
payments, utility bills, food, and all other living expenses.
Ideally, both of your names should be on the lease and you should
divide the utilities so that each of them is in the name of the
person who is responsible for paying the bill. This can prevent a
lot of future misunderstanding and conflict.
Insurance . . .
Another issue that you have to consider is rental insurance.
While the structure is insured by your landlord, your personal
belongings are not. You and your partner must decide if it's
practical to insure your combined belongings under one policy or
if you should purchase separate policies. You'll probably want to
discuss this issue with your insurance agent. But, however you do
it, make sure your personal items are insured.
Who Does What Around the House?
It's important to agree on how to divide everyday household tasks
like cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, and laundry. You can
use a rotating schedule or, if one person enjoys cooking while
the other likes to grocery shop, fixed tasks may be more
comfortable. It doesn't matter how you divide the
responsibilities as long as you both think the division is fair.
You don't want to argue over whose turn it is to take the garbage
out so write it all down beforehand!
Plan Ahead . . .
No matter how well people get along, there are times when
everyone needs to have his own personal space. Agree where that
space will be and how it will be used. Maybe you can turn a spare
bedroom into a study or perhaps you can set up exercise equipment
in a special area. Whatever your individual needs are, make sure
you can agree on how to meet them.
Don't Make This Mistake . . .
By now you may be thinking, "All this planning is stupid. We can
just work stuff out as we go." Maybe you don't want to dim the
romantic glow with this practical approach. Don't let your heart
overrule your head on these issues. If you want to have a
satisfying relationship, address potential problem areas before
they create conflict. If you do, you'll be much more likely to
enjoy your new home.
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