OK...I was spilling over, outgrowing everything, the beautiful
bits hidden under mounds of muddle and it was time - past time
- to lose it! I thought about using dynamite to blast it away,
but that was too messy and probably illegal! I thought of
calling a small third world county and telling them I had more
than enough if they could use some extra - but that would
probably cause an international crisis. So I decided to do
it the hard way - one step at a time. Yes, it was time to
de-clutter my living room! And lest you think this a small
task, let me tell you that we are talking clutter with a
capital "C!"
I began by sorting through my stacks of books until I came to
a book on "How to De-Clutter Your Home," which had been hidden
under a book on streamlining your life and another on losing 5
pounds overnight. Armed with the book's list of suggested steps,
I sat on a stack of magazines and began to read.
1. Start with three boxes - one labeled "keep," one labeled
"trash," and another labeled "give away."
- Now right away we have a problem. If I could put all my stuff
into these three little boxes, I wouldn't HAVE a clutter
problem! So I got out my industrial-sized box of trash bags,
skipped the labels and with applause from my husband ( who
immediately ducked to miss the flying copy of "How to
Declutter Your Home" and fled a hasty retreat), I began to
stuff.
2. If possible, move everything out of the room. Move back in
only the items you want to keep.
- When I called my husband to help, pointing to the next item
on the list from "How to Declutter Your Home," he dissolved
into gales of laughter and said, "You want to put what,
WHERE?" I muttered something about "where the sun don't
shine," handed him a hankie to wipe his eyes, picked up the
nearest pile and began to move.
3. If you are unsure about whether or not to keep items, put
them in a box for 6 months. If you still haven't opened the
box after six months, take it directly to a thrift store.
- Now THIS made sense - box up all my junk and put it in my
husband's space and let HIM deal with it! When my husband
realized - on my third trip to the garage - that I was moving
all my possessions, lock, stock, and silk flower arrangments
to live amongst the tools, "valuable stuff," and "they don't
make 'em like that anymore" treasure in his space, he - well,
let's put it in a less explosive term - "freaked!" My copy of
"How to Declutter Your Home" landed in my neighbor's yard
amongst the begonias, scaring the cat and causing every dog
in the neighborhood to begin a new game of "My bark is louder
than your bark!"
It took two weeks, 10 trash bags, 9 boxes, two extra-large
pepperoni pizzas for my husband and the dogged determination of
yours truly, but I got a new, uncluttered and streamlined living
room. And the 50 pounds? More than 50 pounds of "irreplaceable
treasure" went to the thrift store or trash bin in the two weeks
of decluttering! So I am back to my old svelte self! Now, if
only I could get up enough courage to open that hall closet, I
might lose another 20!
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