Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest
challenges.
After all, forever is a long time. You want to make the
right decision.
Dating itself can be really trying. It can be hard to find
the right people. What if they don't share the same values
and beliefs that you do? How do you handle that and when?
Wouldn't it be easier to know ahead of time that they are
Jewish, just like you?
Wouldn't it be easier to know their respect for God and
other people, values and beliefs, mirrors your own?
I know my own dating experiences were trying at best. My
stomach used to churn before hand. I'd be so excited to meet
new people, only to cringe as that feeling was replaced with
absolute, crushing hopelessness as the person demonstrated a
trait I knew I just wouldn't be able to tolerate.
If they said something snide about children and my being a
parent, I knew it was over. If they weren't pet people, it
was going nowhere.
If they were vulgar, ignorant, not funny or if God didn't
have a place in their life like mine, what could we possibly
have in common?
A few incidents come to my mind. The dental hygienist who
chain-smoked. The girl who didn't shave her legs, her
armpits and didn't wear deodorant (it took a few dates to
begin to figure this one out).
I remember one Friday night where I thought I had met
someone with real potential. She was highly educated,
respectful and thoughtful. Several dates later, she showed
up at my house with an open bottle of wine, already drunk.
And then she stormed off when I mentioned concern that she
had been drinking and driving.
So how do you find the right people? How do you at least
give a first date a chance, by taking the time to get to
know people coming from a similar place as you?
The workplace can be a popular source, if there are lots of
employees and some that believe in God as you do.
But what if you work too much and don't have time to meet
people? Or, what if meeting people is quite a scary
experience, and you'd like to find a "like minded group of
people", that you can get to know via email first before
actually meeting?
The answer, more and more, is the Internet. Never before has
the world's millions of Jewish singles, been able to find
sources of other singles who are just like they are.
The best part is these specific sources of singles can be
pre-determined ahead of time. For instance, you'll know
you're talking to someone who is Jewish, because you
found their ad on a Jewish dating site.
Make sense? Much easier than trying to make these
discoveries of values and beliefs over coffee or dinner.
You can further refine your search by specific age ranges,
kids or not, divorced or not, white, black, location, income
level, career path, Yankees fan or not (very important!),
etc.
I finally found my Soul Mate through a personals ad on a
website. We lived in different communities but on the same
island (20 miles apart). More importantly, our hearts,
beliefs, values, sense of humor and general outlooks were
very similar. And we knew that before ever meeting.
It was wonderful courtship. We married the next year. And to
this day, many years later, we laugh that the first date
never ended.
You too can have this Jewish dating experience, when you
find a source of like-minded people to start to get to know.
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