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Moving can upset children of any age. It frequently causes them
to feel apprehensive and insecure. But, don't despair; there are
many things you can do to make the moving experience less scary
for your children.
Involve Them from the Very Beginning.
Tell your children as soon as you know you're moving; don't
spring it on them at the last minute. Explain why you're moving
in terms they can understand. Do you need more room? Are you
relocating because of a new job?
Be sure to explain what will happen so they'll know what to
expect. This will remove a lot of the fear and confusion they may
be feeling. Tell them when the move will take place and how their
things will get from the old house to the new house.
Be sure and answer their questions as fully as you can. Remember
that your attitude about the move will rub off on them, so stay
upbeat and positive.
To help prepare them further, you can choose from among many
children's books available on moving. Just a couple of these are
"Berenstain Bear's Moving Day" by Sam Berenstain and "Goodbye
House" by Frank Asch. Check your local library for more.
Make the Move an Adventure.
If you approach the coming move as an exciting adventure for the
entire family, it will help to calm your children's fears. The
more positive you are about the move, the more positive they will
be. Make sure they understand they won't be left behind. Ask for
their suggestions and involve them in the plans.
If it's possible, show them the new house and let them spend some
time exploring it. Show them where their rooms will be. Help them
visualize where their furniture and toys will go. Show them the
yard and help them imagine all the fun they will have there.
If it's impossible for them to visit the new house, take tons of
photos so they'll know what it looks like and can become familiar
with it. Talk about all the fun things the family will do there.
Let Them Help.
If you give your children an active role in the move they are
much more likely to accept it and even grow excited about it. Let
them pack some of their own belongings, even if you have to go
back and repack them later. This will help them feel a part of
the move. If there are old toys you don't plan to take, let the
kids help decide which of them should be given away for other
children to use and which should be discarded.
What to Do on Moving Day.
The best plan is to have the children stay with a family member
or trusted friend on the day of the move. If this isn't possible,
be sure and involve them in the moving activities. If you have a
moving company, introduce your children to the workers so they'll
know who's taking their stuff away.
You can give them a box of their own to pack. This could be the
box of special belongings you're taking in the car with you. It
should include all the things your children can't live without ~
favorite stuffed animals, that special blanket, maybe their
favorite pajamas.
This will accomplish three things. It will keep the children
occupied and feeling useful and it will also ensure that you know
exactly where these special items are. You would never want to
arrive at your new home not knowing where to locate Susie's
scruffy old bear or Johnny's favorite action figure! It will also
help the children feel secure since they have their most
important belongings with them.
You're on Your Way to Your New Home.
If you're driving to your new home, make the trip exciting! If
the kids can relate the move to family fun, they'll enjoy it so
much more. If it's a long drive, be sure and have lots of games
or books to keep the children occupied. Maybe each person could
tell their own story about what they think living in the new
house will be like. You'll arrive happy and anxious to start this
new phase of your lives.
Writer's Resource Box:
Kyle Thomas Haley of has been helping people relocate on
the Internet since 1999 with Relocation Websites such as:
http://www.relocation-guide.net/
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