Why is it that some people appear to achieve exactly what they
want in their careers and life almost effortlessly?
While others are stuck?
As an Executive Coach, I hear loads of "external" reasons from
my clients about what blocks them from the success they seek--
an unsupportive relationship with the boss, constant
reorganizations, dried up career paths, lousy market conditions,
discrimination and so on. Clearly, all of these justifications
and more are valid. But, you've heard it before, and it's true:
99.9% of what keeps any one of us from being all that we can be
is an inside job. In other words, each of us has the infinite
capacity (and responsibility) to INTENTIONALLY, deliberately
create how we want our world to be rather than managing life
happenstance as it occurs. Here's the simple formula:
1. What you THINK is what you get.
2. What you SAY is what you get.
3. What you FEEL is what you get.
The reason many of us do not achieve all that we are meant to is
that we unconsciously short-circuit, even sabotage, our potential
through limiting beliefs, conflicting thoughts and feelings and
just plain old bad habits.
Here's an example of a limiting belief: One of my clients had
a recent "wake up call" after recognizing that one of her
long-held beliefs was invalid: "Hard work and merit alone will
be rewarded and "they" will notice and give me the promotion
I've earned." Well, you know the rest of the story: She didn't
get the promotion and naturally, frustration and anger set in.
Her limiting belief so cemented in her psyche, she had failed
to see the truth of how it really works in her organization:
The "other", more subtle, management skills of managing up,
influencing and self-promotion-- what most refer to as
"politics"--- are just as, and, in some cases, even more
relevant than working hard.
On the other hand, I have a new spinning instructor who exudes
extraordinary certainty about what he wants in life. Every bone
and cell in his body, every thought spun, every word uttered,
are crazy-glued to his core belief that he is here to achieve
greatness in the field of personal wellness. And, he is. In
warp speed. In a matter of weeks, there are waiting lists to
get into his classes, he has more personal training clients
than other trainers who have been there for years, his new
instructional CD and DVD are in production and he has landed
a lucrative contract for spots on a national TV network.
Getting More of What You Want Advice from Harvard
You obviously already know that getting what you want requires
more than reading another positive thinking book or listening
to a Tony Robbins tape. Most of the time, we really don't know
what's impeding our progress. We just know it doesn't feel good.
In their book, Maximum Success: Changing the 12 Behavior
Patterns that Keep You from Getting Ahead, authors James
Waldroop and Timothy Butler, Directors of MBA Career
Development at The Harvard Business School, identify the
12 habits, or Achilles' heels, that can hold you back from
getting ahead on the career front. Which pattern best reflects
aspects of yourself? Your co-workers, friends?
1. Never Feeling Good Enough
SYMPTOM: Feeling that you aren't good enough to deserve a
promotion; unconsciously sabotaging yourself once you get it.
2. Seeing the World in Black and White
SYMPTOM: Resents that the world demands negotiation and the
selling of ideas. If something is "right," that should be
enough.
3. Doing too Much, Pushing Too Hard
SYMPTOM: Pushes hard and does too much. Causes others to
burn out and is destructive within an organization, leaving
behind a trail of "dead bodies," or coworkers who couldn't
keep up with the pace.
4. Avoiding Conflict at Any Cost
SYMPTOM: Always avoids conflict. Not a peacemaker, but
someone who fears change and prevents innovation.
5. Running Roughshod Over the Opposition
SYMPTOM: Runs roughshod over colleagues and clients or
willfully defying authority to get attention.
6. Rebel Looking for a Cause
SYMPTOM: Always looking for a cause that doesn't exist.
7. Always Swinging For the Fence
SYMPTOM: Swings for the fence and has unrealistic ambitions.
Always disappointed at failures, but would have more
successes if she could settle for a few singles.
8. When Fear is in the Driver's Seat
SYMPTOM: Focuses on the downside and is defensive and
risk-averse; obsesses over all the things that can go wrong.
9. Emotionally Tone Deaf
SYMPTOM: Sometimes clueless when it comes to thinking about
how others feel and knowing how your behaviors impact others.
10. When No Job is Good Enough
SYMPTOM: Thinks that no job is ever good enough and that
life is full of near misses.
11. Lacking a Sense of Boundaries
SYMPTOM: Always talking out of turn. Lets things slip.
12. Losing the Path
SYMPTOM: Work is without meaning. Lost passion about a job,
but stays on without energy.
Professional Development Challenge You Can Do It!
Can you "cure" your Achilles' heels? Break old patterns, rewire
your beliefs?
Absolutely!
Here are a few simple steps to get you started:
1. Sharpen your self-awareness. Pay attention and OBSERVE your
own actions, thoughts and feelings. Block weekly introspection
time to reflect about the causes and impacts of your particular
Achilles' heels.
2. Set up a buddy system to help you monitor your behavior at
work and outside of work to give you brutally honest feedback
about what you might not see.
3. Deliberately create new ways to apply your personal power
and defining strengths.
4. Decide which behaviors you want to change to be a more
effective leader, a more fulfilled individual.
5. Engage an objective outsider--such as an Executive Coach--
to help you identify your defining strengths and points of
power, blind spots, and an action plan to take your personal
potential to the next level.
Leadership BE the leader who leads YOU to success
Here are my Top 4 recommendations for additional insight about
how to unlock more of your phenomenal potential:
1. Maximum Success: Changing the 12 Behavior Patterns that Keep
You from Getting Ahead by James Waldroop & Timothy Butler
2. Take an interactive quiz designed to alert you to
self-defeating behaviors, and to offer suggestions for overcoming
personal habits that may be sabotaging your career success:
http://www.fastcompany.com/articles/2000/10/act_waldroop.html
3. Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of
Feelings, by Lynn Grabhorn. This is a must read!
4. The Other 90%: How to Unlock Your Vast Untapped Potential
For Leadership & Life by Robert K. Cooper . Also see:
http://www.theother90%.com
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