Right from the start I need to make it very clear that I am not 
entirely against religion and that I don’t propose that you 
renounce your religion. My goal is to try and make you more 
fully aware of the limitations within many organized religions. 
This, in turn, may allow you to nurture a deeper spiritual 
awareness within your chosen religion.

One of the major problems with religion is that it can make us 
feel inadequate and unworthy. After all, if we are still facing 
problems in our lives, perhaps it is because we are not good 
enough people in the eyes of God. Or if adversity hits us, maybe 
it is because we are not trying hard enough to follow religious 
practices.

The truth is that we do not need religion to develop spiritually.
Religion is not the goal; it is just a tool. Many people find it 
difficult to accept, but in fact religion is a human invention. 
Spirituality on the other hand is a universal, godly existence 
that is the core of life and not at its edge.

Let me ask you a question: How does religion try to force us to 
become better people?” Isn’t it through promoting fear, shame, 
and guilt? I know this from personal experience, as well as from 
numerous patients whose fear and guilt, created by their own 
religions, made them feel miserable, ill, unhappy, inhibited, 
repressed, and at times almost insane.

Yes, mental illness can begin in religion. A disorder named 
Scrupulosity is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. People 
experiencing this disorder are obsessed with sins, morality, 
and religion in general. Also, a phobia named peccatiphobia is 
associated with committing sins.

Fear, guilt, shame--is this what spirituality is all about? 
Obviously not. Such consequences only serve to remove people 
from spirituality. I believe that the big discrepancy between 
religion’s offering and spiritual teachings’ focus gave rise to 
the New Age movement. It’s also the reason why many people moved 
from traditional religions to Eastern practices such as Buddhism 
and Hinduism.

Clergy of all denominations would want you to believe that this 
is how things have always been and how they should remain, but 
we all know that even what seems to be a “full proof” system 
can be challenged. Communists, as an example, thought that their 
power would exist forever. But they were wrong. It collapsed in 
all of Eastern Europe. The Berlin Wall was destroyed stone by 
stone by people from both sides of the border.

Many people are coming out and saying in response to religion’s 
dogma, “We don’t want to follow any rules blindly; we don’t want 
to be intimidated into behaving one way or another.” Bishop John 
Shelby Spong, the author of “Why Christianity Must Change or Die”
calls them “Believers in Exile.” Such believers in a Creator 
want to focus on practicing spiritual principles. They still 
want to be mentored, but not always the way organized religion 
does it.

One of my biggest contentions with organized religion is that it 
has not evolved and adapted at the pace of the rest of society. 
The way some religions treat women is a classic example. Women 
cannot be ordained as priests by the Catholic Church; they 
cannot become rabbis or even sit beside men in orthodox Jewish 
synagogues. Islam is no different. This changed in some 
denominations like Anglican churches and Reformist Jewish 
Synagogues. Many women have pointed out to me that the 
percentage of women volunteering for the different Catholic 
Church activities is very high. Why is assuming significant 
lay responsibility acceptable but becoming a priest is not?

Almost every profession and institution has learned to accept 
and value women–medicine, law, sports, you name it. And yet most 
religious organizations remain stubborn on this glass ceiling. 
That to me is not spirituality. Women were created equal and 
not as second-class human beings. Women tend to have a better 
ability to understand human feelings and conflicts. Most often, 
they become better able to relate and connect with people. Given 
the opportunity, women could provide excellent guidance in many 
areas of daily living as leaders for churches. I sometimes play 
with the scenario that if women ever decide to rebel by 
refraining from going to sermons, churches will be mostly 
empty. What will the Vatican do then?

Sexism is only the tip of the iceberg. Sexuality inspires greater
efforts at religious controls. For instance, “The Catechism of 
the Catholic Church” (Publications Services, Canadian Conference 
of Catholic Bishops, 1994), describes masturbation as an offence 
against chastity and, along with homosexuality, as a “disordered 
action.” Fundamentalist church doctrines and rigid religious 
thinkers of all denominations are too often just as intolerant. 
These archaic attitudes cause people unnecessary shame and guilt.

Unfortunately, we can point to the private lives of priests and 
church leaders as a testament to what can happen when people are 
forced to repress their innate sexual desires. I have done a 
great deal of work with patients about their sexual inhibitions 
because they considered their sexuality sinful or “dirty.” Where 
do these messages come from? The church needs to recognize that 
sex is not dirty. Sex represents powerful creative energy that 
we need to learn to express in natural, healthy ways, free of 
inhibitions. CNN recently reported the result of a poll asking 
priests about the church requirement of celibacy. More than 50 
percent confirmed that they would want to see celibacy dropped 
as a prerequisite for priesthood.

I see the role of a religious figure such as a minister, rabbi, 
mullah, etc., not as a “religious guru,” but more as a teacher, 
someone who can take you by the hand and gently lead you down 
the spiritual path, without rigid rules, intimidation or using 
negative motivation. Preaching produces only temporary enthusiasm
or motivation. People must question religious leaders who only 
preach and promise, and begin to look for genuine teachers 
instead. If such leaders want to continue to play the role of 
spiritual mentors, they must genuinely teach their followers 
how to be in touch with who they really are, not what the church 
thinks they should be. This applies to any religion. If these 
leaders can teach people how to connect with deeper aspects of 
themselves, then their work is worthy.

To teach connection with the spirituality within each of us, 
clergy of all faiths have to figure it out for themselves first. 
Like any teacher for any subject, a religious leader is more 
likely to guide you toward spiritual understanding if he 
demonstrates awareness of personal, deep spirituality and 
encourages positive instead of punitive religious practices.

I have no doubt that numerous priests and other religious 
teachers do a fine job serving their communities despite many 
limitations imposed by their own organizations. Hopefully, with 
their good work and devotees increased awareness, organized 
religions can transform to respect and teach spiritual practices 
that can improve our lives in more meaningful ways.