When I started my business I was like most people starting out on
a new endeavor, feeling like a fish out of water. There are so
many unknowns in front of you that you might feel like a blind
person in a maze, grasping at little ideas here and there in
order to get help.
Where Are They?
Creating a support system is a learning process that will develop
over time. I've found it isn't a list of concrete, rational, or
objective steps, but a way of looking at who is around me and how
we are connected. I started by focusing on my heart's desire of
helping women's wellness through nature – which is also the focus
of my business – and then I began to find the right people.
- Networking Organizations Don't pigeon-hole yourself by
belonging only to one type of organization. Drop any
organizations that thrive on 'busy work' and choose organizations
that get you excited. I belong to two professional women's
organizations and to two Chambers of Commerce, but I also belong
to the Sierra Club. I am currently researching places to find
'walking for wellness' people who are LIKE ME! (Notice the
excitement!)
- Who is around you? Is someone already unofficially mentoring
you? Is there someone really obvious – right next to you?
- Official Channels Try the Small Business Administration and
SCORE (Senior Corp of Retired Executives.)
- Experts Attend your chamber workshops and always be the last to
leave, setting aside extra time in your schedule. When you get to
talk personally with the expert, notice if they have enthusiasm
for their own work. They will ask about your business and if you
see sincere interest, don't just walk away!
- Book Wisdom As a result of reading what I love to read, I've
developed a half-way decent understanding of Jung's shadow and
personality theories. As a result, I've had several enjoyable and
enlightening conversations with people who share my interest. My
reading and subsequent discussions have increased my knowledge of
Jungian psychoanalysis and have taught me market research methods
and has given me an understanding of why women's wellness is a
real concern.
- Unsolicited Support Notice offers of help from reputable
sources and take them up on it. I've seen such offers in the
epilogue of the business book, "Good to Great." I've had a
speaker tell me face-to-face that I could call if I had a
question. I've had a private business person offer to review my
website. To not follow up on such opportunities would be an
unforgivable shame.
- Competitors It took me a long time to build the courage to
contact a major competitor, but she has given me the best advice
I've ever received. Successful people expect such inquiries. Let
them determine the amount of time to devote to you.
- Friends Certain friends can be important mentors / brainstorm
partners / spiritual supporters. I make a point to keep in touch
on a regular basis, usually at a "Panera Pow-wow." (10 years ago
this would have been a "Village Inn Visit.") A woman at a
conference asked the speaker a question relating to her business,
and I knew I needed to meet her. We have been providing mutual
support for two years now. We get together with no agenda, and
after an hour have solved several of each of our business
problems.
- Outside the Box I read an article written by Kevin J. Wright,
and noticed we shared several interests. I looked him up on the
web and saw that he lives in Denver near where I would be
visiting in a month so I contacted him and asked for a meeting.
I'll tell you more about our great lunch meeting later in this
article.
- Notice Who Won't Help You. Some people may be very interesting,
but are not mentor material.
-------- Avoid those who can't give criticism. I write-off those
who's response to my questions are designed to avoid conflict.
Look for those who can be up-front and honest like Carol Blood
from www.urpr.biz who I know from civic functions. She gave me
some solid advice – at Panera's!
--------Avoid those who lack enthusiasm about your project like a
long-time friend of my parents who owns a successful business. He
agreed to be available for questions but never showed enthusiasm
regarding my project.
Getting to Know Them
- Meeting New People Think 'relationship,' not 'networking.' The
networking rule is to speak with each person for only three
minutes, exchange information, and move on to the next. How fake
is that? When you find someone that you click with and are
enjoying why not hang around a bit?
- Running into Newer Acquaintances These conversations should
have substance. Talk about real subjects that spark interest in
your conversation partner, even if they are unconventional,
because your goal is to develop a relationship. Some topics that
I can easily dwell on if they come up are Jung, secret travel
destinations and historical novels. Of course I only pursue
topics that the other person will also enjoy and gain something
from.
- One Minute With an Expert If you are able to speak with an
expert while networking after a speaker's event and they show
enthusiasm about your project, tell them about a challenge that
is related to their own area of expertise and how you think you
might try to solve that challenge. Then ask for their opinion.
"What do you think?" followed by a patient pause can work
wonders. Listen to what they say. Exchange cards. Watch their
non-verbal cues to know when to end the conversation. Afterwards,
when reviewing your networking notes, consider how the
relationship went and if you can pursue it further.
Taking the Step to Ask
Consider developing relationships further. Look for those who can
challenge you, whether they are an expert or a peer. Suggest a
meeting at a coffee shop if possible. Let them decide the
location, time and the duration of the meeting. If you get them
away from their office you can usually increase the usual ½ hr
meeting to an hour. Avoid email meetings because they eliminate
the possibility for brainstorming and creative discussions.
Be attentive and notice if they would like to help but are
obviously too busy to meet with you. In such cases I have done
the following:
- Do you have time now? We could go to the coffee shop down the
street or just sit here for 15 minutes if you have time.
- Could you look at my website and tell me . . . ? I could take
your card and email you a reminder.
- Can we make an appointment to talk on the phone for a half
hour? I will email you tomorrow with my available times next week
and you can choose a time. You will call them if it's long
distance.
Whether you end up with a Panera Pow-wow or with a mentoring
meeting with an expert, you'll be left with plenty to chew on.
The Perfect Mentoring Session
- Sit down, listen, and be willing to hear the hard truth. When
they say something hard to hear, be ready to spend time with it
and consider it, making real changes.
- Ask pre-planned specific open-ended questions. Don't just ask
'why.' Instead, try "What have I missed?" or "What's the biggest
error people usually make when they're in my position?"
- When you ask a question, make it short then shut up and wait.
Don't start talking again just because you're nervous or
impatient. Building a relationship is an investment of time, so
devote all of your attention to this chance to connect.
- Don't waste their time by complaining, bragging or rambling.
Keep on point and keep your mind sharp. Be an active listener,
asking for clarification. Repeat back to them what they've said
so that you're sure you understood it. Take notes without being
self-conscious about it. It shows your mentor that you are
serious.
- Make an effort to offer them whatever help that they could
benefit from your experience and knowledge as well. This
transforms your meeting from a lecture into an intelligent
conversation. When I took the writer, Kevin J. Wright to lunch,
he told me about his soon-to-be-released book. I shared an
observation based upon my experience. He immediately latched onto
an additional marketing strategy for his book release.
- Keep to any time limit they have specified. If it's been an
hour, acknowledge that you know they have a busy schedule to give
them a chance to leave. My conversation with Kevin over pizza was
so riveting that I couldn't bring myself to break our connection
and look at my watch. We were kindred spirits. When I finally
looked and announced the time to him, he frantically realized
that he was late for a meeting. I rushed him back to his office
without slowing him down with any superfluous words. We did
agree, however, that our conversation was worth missing work
over.
- If you've done a good job you will be tired at the end of your
meeting. Immediately take an additional hour to review what was
covered, and to let it sink in. Relaxing and letting it settle
will help you really learn what you've heard.
- Follow up with a hand-written 'Thank You' when they take time
out of their schedule for you. I usually add a line asking for a
small bit of further assistance. For example, after I got help
with my web site, I asked the helpful mentors to look at my site
after making changes, for further input.
Have You Noticed?
You have been reading free advice that I've written down for you.
Hint, hint.
I am enthusiastic about mentoring and care about people who need
help. Hint, hint.
If you have already considered contacting me for further
guidance, then you get an A.
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