In my book "Shortcut to Spirituality: Mastering the Art of Inner 
Peace" I indicate that many men are currently going through an 
identity crisis, without even being aware of it. This crisis is 
a result of the gradual disintegration of the typical male role. 
For thousands of years men assumed the role of the protector, 
the one in control, the sole provider and the decision maker 
in the family unit. 

As women have learned to become more independent, feeling 
comfortable working outside the home and earning a living, they 
have become less patient of their partners. In addition, women 
have invested significant time and effort to resolve many of 
their insecurities and improve their self-esteem. As a result, 
they have become more comfortable with themselves and are 
feeling stronger mentally and emotionally. This self-possession 
has further reduced their dependency on men. 

In this article (taken from a 5 part eCourse: "A Communication 
Makeover for Men." See at the bottom how you can receive this 
course for FREE.) I will be talking about a powerful attitude 
that can help men in improving the relationship with their 
spouses. I called it "Sweating the Small Stuff." We have been 
told to not sweat the small stuff, but men who apply this 
principle to romantic relationships are risking broken 
engagements and bumpy marriages, because most women "sweat 
the small stuff" and expect their partners to so the same.

Naturally, there are men who have learned to treat their spouses 
with respect and pay attention to their needs. This article is 
for those wanting to further improve the quality of their 
relationships by improving their understanding of how their 
partners think and what they want, and by improving their 
ability to communicate effectively with their spouses 
remembering that the ultimate goal is to create a nurturing, 
supporting, loving relationships. 


What Women Really Want?

It is no secret that women are looking for attention. Attention 
helps them flourish and feel good about themselves. But it has 
to be a particular kind of attention because they want to feel 
special, wanted and desired. They love foreplay, romance, 
intimacy and passion - a fact that many men ignore. 

Most women love to talk about things: their problems, their 
thoughts and feelings, the kids, the neighbors and so forth. 
Women process life's experiences through feelings, and therefore 
like to express their thoughts and opinions accompanied with a 
variety of feelings. Men, in contrast, don't often see the point 
in talking so much about trivial things. They are more accustomed
to relating to problems and solutions. They like conversations 
that are goal-oriented, focused on facts. They normally prefer 
distilled information and rational based thinking.

It is no secret that women are often attracted to strong men, but
the true fact is that they want to be treated with gentleness. 
They want to be listened to, understood, acknowledged, encouraged 
and supported. Sounds like a lot doesn't it? Well it's not 
really. It is easier to fulfill women's needs and wants than it 
seems, you just have to learn how to do it the right way.


Sweating the Small Stuff

If you really want to transform your relationship, start paying 
attention to the little things that are important for her. For 
your partner to be happy, you have to sweat the small stuff. If 
she wants the ketchup bottle on the first shelf in the fridge, 
don't put it on the second. "What's the difference?" you may 
ask. Please understand that small things matter a great deal 
to most women and they shouldn't really matter to you. True, in 
your mind there might not be any logical sense to whether the 
ketchup bottle is on the first shelf or the second, or how you 
put the dishes in the dishwasher (I hope you do that from time 
to time!), or whether you use the green cloth instead of the red 
cloth to clean the kitchen table. But from a woman's perspective 
it does make a difference. Women don't tend to be linear thinkers 
like men, although they can be. They have a certain order that 
makes sense and gives them a feeling that they are in control. 

So, if you know that your partner wants certain things in a 
certain way, do it. Don't let it be a big deal for you. Let me 
explain to you why this is so important. When you don't notice 
the small things and insist on doing things in the house your 
way, women tend to interpret it in an emotional way. Remember 
they are feeling beings. Let me explain this further. By not 
paying attention to details women get the impression that you 
do not care. It doesn't end here. If you don't care about her, 
it means that she is not important (remember I talked about what 
women want?) and if she does not feel important, in her eyes, it 
means that you don't love her. Do you see what I mean here? You 
might think: "What's the big deal where I put the bottle of 
ketchup?" But your partner might easily interpret it as, "He 
doesn't really love me, because if he did he wouldn't mind doing 
it the way I need it to be done. So, sweat the small stuff and 
don't make an issue of areas (especially around the house) that 
are important to her. If you pay close attention to the little 
things you will be on the right path towards pleasing your 
partner and building a better relationship.


Awareness Exercise

Write down all of those "little" things that your spouse nags you 
about, from putting your socks in the laundry basket to where to 
put the remote control after you've finished watching TV:

1.	_________________________________________________

2.	_________________________________________________

3.	_________________________________________________

4.	_________________________________________________

5.	_________________________________________________


Start working on the list. Tell yourself that these small things 
don't make a big difference in the big scheme of things. And 
when you decide to change do it with enthusiasm not reluctantly 
or merely as a favor. Remember: women are very intuitive and 
usually quite observant. They can read you easily. If you are 
serious at improving your relationship then learn to do things 
that are important for her without wanting anything in return. 
In time she will reciprocate ten-fold. I will bet anything on 
that.

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This is an excerpt from a 5 part eCourse entitled: "A 
Communication Makeover for Men" suitable for both men and 
women. To receive the complete course FREE of charge go to 
http://www.DeeperDimension.com and follow the link.