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February, the month of love! The time when our culture sends
messages of diamond jewelry, roses, chocolates and Victoria's
Secret. Oh, to have all these things - well, to have one of
these things - heck to even have a date, and we should be happy,
right? That means we are loved. But many a Valentine's Day has
come and gone with no jewelry, no roses, and no chocolate, and
I personally like to shop at Victoria's Secret during a sale.
Still, I believe our desire to be loved is THE thing we're all
really after. Not just in February, either, but all year long.
Feeling loved takes different forms like acceptance, approval,
and success. We want desperately to feel good about ourselves
and for the world, especially a specific someone, to tell us
we're loved. I know I've felt that way. I've also unknowingly
absorbed the messages of our advertising culture that basically
tell us to buy this, wear that and you'll get the love you want.
It's all out there. Very few messages say look within, it's all
in here.
But that's the truth: it is all inside. Like many, I have
family, friends and a special someone who loves me. I've also
had times of strained relationships where it was tough to give or
receive much love. No matter my circumstances, I've learned that
no one can give me love without me giving it to myself first.
And no one can do that for me but me.
Being responsible for fulfilling our own need to know we're loved
means not looking to other people in our lives to do the job.
When they fail (which always happens in some way), hurt and blame
often follow. At the same time, when we accept responsibility for
loving ourselves we sometimes feel selfish. Filling up our tank
means we need to spend time focusing on ourselves. The good girl
inside says always give to others first before taking care
of yourself. Well, again, the good girl isn't quite right.
Instead, take some wisdom from the airplane safety message: "In
case of loss of cabin air pressure, put your mask on first before
helping others." Love yourself first and then you're best
equipped to love and help others.
Take this designated month of love and like the song lyrics ask
yourself "Who you do love?" Are you the first person who comes
to mind? Perhaps it's time to make some internal adjustment.
By loving yourself you give yourself and others the biggest gift
possible. Now, that's bodacious.
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