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Barb Desmarais of The Parenting Coach, invites you to reprint this article in your publication, ezine, or on your website.

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    How To Deal With Temper Tantrums
    Copyright © 2005, Barb Desmarais

    There aren’t a whole lot of behaviors that test our patience as 
    a parent more than temper tantrums.  If we’re over tired, over 
    schedule, or over worked, it’s often the last thing we want to 
    have to deal with.  Some children have them on occasion but many 
    children have them regularly.  
    
    Generally speaking there are three different circumstances that 
    bring on tantrums.  One is when a child doesn’t get her way so 
    she has a tantrum until she gets what she wants.  The second is 
    when a child is over stimulated and/or over tired and she simply 
    can’t cope any more and the smallest thing will send her over the 
    edge.  The third type of tantrum is when a child wakes up from a 
    nap and suddenly falls into a temper tantrum. I’ve experienced 
    all three with my children.  
    
    When a child has a temper tantrum to get what she/he wants and we 
    give in, we are essentially teaching him that that is the way to 
    get what you want.  Often we find ourselves saying:  “Ok, but 
    this is the LAST ONE!” or “Ok, here, have it.”  We become 
    desperate to stop the screaming so the easiest thing to do is to 
    give in.  The more we give in, the more we can be assured that in 
    situations where children are trying to get something, we will 
    experience more and more tantrums because they’ve learned from 
    our actions that they work.  If we say no and stick to our word, 
    they soon learn that crying and screaming gets them nowhere.  The 
    important thing is to be consistent and to tell yourself that not 
    giving in will pay off enormously in the long run.  
    
    The second type of tantrum is when a child is hungry, over tired, 
    or over stimulated.  We’ll often see children fall apart late in 
    the afternoon. It’s at these times we need to review if we should 
    have maybe gone out only once instead of several times, or had 
    several small snacks available throughout the day instead of 
    expecting our child to wait until meal times to eat.  It’s my 
    belief that most young children benefit from a quiet time 
    everyday, even after they’ve grown out of naps.  Also, too much 
    stimulation for some children can do more harm than good.  Be 
    aware of how much your child can handle.  In the meantime, 
    humor often works well and is a good distraction.  Under no 
    circumstances though should a child be allowed to hurt anyone 
    or destroy property. 
    
    The third type of tantrum is when children are waking from a nap 
    and have difficulty making the transition from sleep.  They often 
    become confused and disoriented which is upsetting.  In this 
    situation, it is best just to understand what’s happening and to 
    be in close proximity.  Sometimes all you can do is let them go 
    through it until they calm down. 
    
    If we as parents are well rested and our own needs are being met, 
    we’re much better equipped for most things that come our way, 
    including temper tantrums.  
    



    Writer's Resource Box:
    Barb Desmarais
    Parenting and Life Coach  
    Give your children your best so that they can become their best. 
    Phone:  604-524-1783
    email: mailto:barb@theparentingcoach.com
    web site:  http://www.theparentingcoach.com




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