I used to be hung-up on the need to be successful. That is,
until I took a daring step into the unknown and discovered the
difference between attaining success and successful living. While
others achieve transcendence while trekking in Tibet or living
among indigenous tribes in the Amazon rain forest, my spiritual
epiphany began with a move to Munich, where I didn't know a soul
or speak the language. (Does gesundheit count?) In that move I
learned to follow my inner guidance, surrender to life, and trust
that I am safe and taken care of regardless of where I am in the
world. I discovered that life is meant to be an adventure, and
that only when we step out of our comfort zone can our dreams
become a reality.
I was 31 and living in Southern California. Despite many
wonderful friends, a rental house near the beach, a sports car,
a busy psychotherapy practice, and a lucrative speaking and
consulting business, I wasn't happy. Mostly, that was due to my
ever-present quest for success. I dressed to succeed (according
the popular book on that topic), drove the car a successful
person would drive, and constantly thought about what I needed to
do next on that seductive road to bigger and better achievements.
I worked too much, and played too little. Though I exercised at
a gym (for successful people, of course) took yoga classes, and
meditated regularly, there was little peace in my life. I was
driven by the fear that if I stopped for a moment, someone else
would take the place that was waiting for me at the top of the
mountain.
I was surprised to receive the message, "move to Munich" in
response to my inner plea for clarity, guidance, and direction.
But when the inspiration came through, I decided to "go for it"
and see where it would lead me. My transatlantic move was both
the scariest and most exciting thing I had ever done. I took nine
weeks off to travel by myself to Europe (I had never been there)
and look for work at the same time. Five months later I closed my
business, sold or gave away everything I owned, and moved to a
small, furnished apartment in Munich to teach psychology for an
American university.
One of the first things I noticed after my overseas move was that
I had taken myself with me. There I was, six thousand miles from
home, and recreating the same negative patterns that I had hoped
to leave behind. Unfortunately, this made it difficult for me to
blame my unhappiness on my life circumstances. Clearly, my life
was not going to be truly satisfying until I looked within and
changed some old, familiar ways of being in the world.
The most important thing I did was to redefine success for
myself. Instead of always pursuing some illusive, future goal,
I decided that success for me would be having nice days. Each
morning, I thought of ways in which I could make that day
special. I began to appreciate the music of the distant church
bells chiming in my neighborhood, the delicious smell of fresh
bread in a local bakery, and the light cast within my tiny
apartment, with snowflakes falling outside my window on silent
winter afternoons. With spring, I rode my bike along the banks
of the Isar River, captivated by the beauty of nature and the
magnificent, old buildings that line its banks. I anonymously
walked the streets of the city, and discovered favorite
cobblestone passageways leading deep into the ancient past. Each
night, as I lay in bed, I asked myself the question: "Did I have
a nice day?" If I did, I considered myself successful.
During this time, I discovered that I didn't need lots of money
or possessions to live abundantly. I earned little, owned almost
nothing, and didn't even have a car (unheard of in Southern
California, freeway capital of the world!) Yet, I found with a
little economizing I was still able to travel to Denmark, France,
Greece, Cypress, and Italy for glorious experiences. I stopped
identifying myself by my accomplishments or income level, and
even stopped dressing for success (oh, sweet relief!) Although I
made new friends from many cultures, I found that I was contented
simply being with me.
Not surprisingly, just when I was completely at peace within
myself, I met a wonderful man who has been my life partner ever
since. Life has taken its inevitable twists and turns since then,
bringing new joys and challenges along the way. Thanks to my time
in Munich, I strive to say "yes" to life whenever possible. I
have come to believe that we live our best lives when we act
courageously in accordance with the magnificent guidance within
us. There are enormous blessings which accompany our willingness
to say "yes" to the opportunities life places on our doorstep.
Although these opportunities never come with written guarantees
that all will be fine, in my experience, when we risk following
our inspiration, life unfolds even more perfectly than we ever
imagined.
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