Last night I was watching my husband of 15 years rehearse a song
he had written to perform – singing and playing his guitar – as a
surprise for the retiring president of his company. He had never
done anything like this before. As I watched him I thought, WOW,
he’s one se*y guy.
I started thinking, what makes someone attractive to the opposite
sex?
Obviously there isn’t just one answer, and I think one of the
most attractive things is when someone is enjoying expressing
their talents and gifts.
Think about it – when you see someone singing, dancing, acting,
laughing or talking about something they are passionate about,
what do you notice?
There is an energy of aliveness that comes from the person. A
truth if you will. A force that is magnetic.
Here’s what my husband said about his performance:
...just doing a little something like writing a song, or doing a
performance, anything that draws the passion out, creates a rush
of aliveness, you feel a physical change among other things, you
find your ‘wings’.
Can’t you just feel the joy in his words? An exuberance for
life!
In contrast, you can tell when someone is shut down - they lose
that aliveness and aren’t very attractive.
We’ve all felt unattractive and shut down. We literally shut
down our creative juices. We disconnect from our flow of love,
joy, creativity, passion.
BEING MORE ALIVE
So where do you want to feel more aliveness?
What part of your life has been shut down that you want to let
loose?
I asked one of my clients this question and she said she wanted
to have more dinner parties at her home. She loves entertaining
and really feels alive when she’s putting on a party.
Another client is going to start art classes, and another one is
planning a huge vacation she put off for too many years.
I just did that – took a long overdue vacation. It was the best
thing in the world for my body, my marriage and my soul.
What is it for you?
Come on, what’s the thing you’ve wanted to do and talked yourself
out of? You actually know it.
Do you sing in the shower or in the car? Do you talk
passionately about a subject when no one is really listening? Do
you write poetry and never share it? Do you love hiking or biking
but never make the time for it? Have you been putting off
working in your garden even though you love doing it?
Do you want to express your love and thought it might not be
reciprocated? Do it anyway. You’ll benefit.
FIND YOUR WINGS
Make a commitment to yourself this year to play and do something
that has you come alive.
Not only will you be more attractive to others, more importantly,
you’ll love how you feel about yourself.
That rush of energy that floods your body, heart and spirit; that
feeling that you are doing something that is difficult yet is so
exhilarating.
FORGET PERFECTION
Here’s a little piece of advice. Don’t worry about doing it
perfectly. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about the joy
of expression.
Your ego will tell you it has to be perfect. Tell your ego to go
take a nap. Or to be quiet.
And if you make a mess of a painting – start over. If you write
a poem that doesn’t make any sense – write another one. If you
step on your partners toes learning a new dance step – apologize
and dance in lighter shoes.
Most important when you make a mistake – CELEBRATE. Yes,
celebrate your failure.
Everyone wins when you celebrate your mistakes and failures.
You’ll relax and when others see you relax they might try
something they’ve been afraid of doing. They will give
themselves permission to celebrate their failures.
These things are attractive: celebrating, trying, doing,
playing, creating, laughing, and loving.
Make yourself happy by expressing your gifts and talents.
Attract more good people into your life by doing what makes you
come alive.
Imagine the possibilities...
© Carol Chanel, 2004-2005
2005 Certified Life Coach
C.P.C.C.
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