Are you stuck?  It happens to most of us at various times in our 
lives.   And the thing about being stuck is that it feels like 
you'll never get unstuck.

Before we can figure out how to get unstuck let's look at what 
being stuck means.  To do that I want to give you some examples 
from my clients. 


STUCK IN HER CAREER

One of my previous clients came to me and was very stuck around 
the area of her career.  She had a classic case of "the golden 
handcuffs." She didn't like what she was doing anymore, but she 
was very well paid for it.  

She didn't want to decrease her income and she didn't know what 
she wanted to do with her life. She didn't know her life purpose,
what work would give her life meaning. 

So we went to work on 'life purpose' first.  

We helped her discover her values and honor them.  It's one 
thing to know your values it's another to truly live your life by
them.  And by the way, values aren't morals, they are intrinsic 
to you - you are born with them.  And when you aren't living 
your life according to your values - your life feels awful and 
you get stuck.

As my client and I worked together she finally got clear on her 
life purpose and realized what her next steps were going to be. 
She quit her job as a CPA, got a part time job making in the 
high five figures, and went back to school to become to get 
her masters in psychology.  She moved to another city, made 
new friends, and is doing great in grad school.

She went from stuck to moving forward in her career.


STUCK AND OUT OF BALANCE

Let's look at another example.  I had a client who was highly 
successful and highly stuck in the areas of balance and 
relationships. They were interconnected because she worked all 
the time and had "no life."  You can't have a life if you work 
15-hour days, six or seven days a week.  You are exhausted, you 
can't exercise, probably don't eat right, can't meet new people 
and your health is probably suffering.  And that was the case 
with this client.   She was stuck - working all the time and 
hated her life.  And, of course, she physically felt awful and 
she didn't have the energy to date and hadn't for quite a while. 

The first thing we did was to have her draw some boundaries and 
take four days off from work.  You might think that sounds easy, 
but to someone who is stuck,  this is difficult to do.  She was 
scared to death that she would lose her job, and she didn't have 
any friends so she didn't know what to with four days of 
vacation.

As it turned out, she slept for four days.  Over about a 
three-month period, we worked to have her increase her 
boundaries to not only cut back her work hours - shorter days, 
no weekends - start an exercise program and  schedule a real 
vacation.  As she honored her boundaries - no small feat - she 
began to feel healthy again, started making friends, and joined 
a gym. She also took a three-week vacation to Italy that 
included one week of  biking.

She went from stuck and out of balance with no friends or dates,
to dating, vacationing, exercising and doing fun things with 
friends. And guess what? She got a huge raise.

This client went from stuck and out of balance to happy and 
richer!


STUCK IN HIS LOVE LIFE

You can see by now that with the guidance of a trained 
professional there are specific steps or actions you can take 
to get unstuck. Let's look at one more example.  I had a client 
who was stuck in his love life.  To quote him: 'his love life 
sucked.'  And he was miserable because of it.

He couldn't move out of feeling badly about himself and 
thought he would never meet anyone.  And here's the thing - he 
was successful, handsome, fit, healthy, really smart, dressed 
beautifully and was a great guy.  Only he didn't know it.

So what do you do with a guy who is stuck in the area of love?  
You teach him about love.  And have him look at why he was 
afraid of love and, in his case, kept pushing it away.  I 
think most of us can agree that being stuck without any love 
or hope of love in your life, feels awful.  

So we had him look at why he protected himself, had him start to 
draw boundaries, did a lot of work in the spiritual realm around 
quieting his ego.  You know that critical voice that says the 
most unbelievable things to you.  'You idiot how could you have 
said anything so stupid, she'll probably never want to go out 
with you now.'  Or, 'Are you out of your mind, you can't ask 
that beautiful woman out, she'd never say yes to you.'  These 
are the thoughts that stop you before you really get going.  

As he worked to quiet that critical voice, he began to see the 
good qualities he had, that he had a lot of friends, and that 
his past behavior and choices had just been a protective 
mechanism.  

He worked hard to be vulnerable, to admit his good qualities, 
and when he made a mistake he learned to course correct and 
keep moving.

And now he's repaired an old relationship and is dating a 
gorgeous woman.

He went from stuck and a love life that sucked to love with 
a loving relationship and a quieter mind.

These three people all suffered from a chronic case of 'the 
stucks' and they all did very specific things to get unstuck.  

Let's look at what they did.  In the first case the client 
discovered and honored her values and quieted her critical 
voice that said she didn't know what she wanted to do and 
would never know.  She began to trust that she had a purpose. 
And guess what? It showed up.

With the second client who was stuck in balance and friendships, 
she really worked on developing and honoring her boundaries, got 
clear on and honored her values, and began to believe in her own 
personal value.  She began to trust herself and developed a 
great life and made more money.

The third client learned to quiet that critical voice, 
discovered his values, developed good boundaries, and 
started trusting that he was a really good guy.

So what's the answer to getting unstuck?


You'll need to know and do the following things:
 
Boundaries - strong, firm; you stick to your boundaries once 
you draw them.

Values - not morals - things like integrity, freedom, full 
self-expression, romance, accomplishment and many, many more. 
Each individual has their own. You need to honor your values 
once you are clear about them.

Quieting the Critical Voice - the ego will try to protect you 
and keep you from changing, i.e. getting unstuck.  Your job is 
to notice that voice and choose another perspective.  So when 
you hear the criticism, you replace it with a new, positive 
perspective that you can truly believe.  'You'll never have the 
relationship you want' to 'I am dating and meeting wonderful 
people.'  'I am safe to love and have a committed relationship.' 
'I am in an exciting, loving, fun, committed relationship.'  
Whatever works for what you can believe at each stage.
The learning here is knowing what the critical voice is saying 
and the doing is to replace it with a positive perspective.

The fourth and most crucial thing that everyone must have to get 
unstuck is TRUST.  You have to believe that you can do it, trust 
yourself, trust the universe and trust those helping you to get 
unstuck.  You have to learn to TRUST and have FAITH.


Trying to get unstuck by yourself isn't easy.  I know.  I was 
stuck trying to market my business and needed to find the 
perfect person to help me.  I knew my values and so I knew I 
needed to listen to what was true for me, draw my boundaries 
around what I was willing to change and quiet the voice that 
said I didn't know how to market.  Then I had to trust the man 
I hired  - trust that he was a brilliant marketing person who 
could help me.  And he did just that.  And I am no longer stuck 
in the area of marketing my business and, in fact, now it's fun!!

I wish you a fun and enjoyable adventure as you begin to get 
unstuck.  One last and very important piece of advice - it 
takes time.  It's a process.  Be patient and compassionate with 
yourself.  Once you set your mind to it, you'll look back three 
to six months from now and say - "Wow, I am unstuck.  Hurray!!!"

Happy getting unstuck!!