Don't Be a Boob About the Boob

Dictionary.com defines a Boob as either:

n 1: an ignorant or foolish person 
n 2: slang for a woman's breast


PARTIAL NUDITY IN THE NEWS

The furor over the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show astonishes
me. Granted, it was a ground breaking moment in network 
television programming. It was the first time in the history
of a mega broadcasting event that a half-covered nipple was 
seen on the telly. 

I don't know, but suspect it was not the first breast to be
shown on network television. After all, CBS airs the Victoria
Secrets Show every year, and surely some partial breasts 
appear in that program. But it could be argued that parents
know that flesh will be seen in that program, so they know
to keep their kids away from the set. 

Then there is NYPD Blue. I have never actually watched an 
episode of this long-running television series, but I did 
note at the beginning of an episode a warning that the program
may air *partial nudity.* Since I have never actually watched
the program, I don't know what they were indicating with their
warning.


MUCH ADO ABOUT A BOOB

We are not talking about the Dan Quayle *potatoe* moment here.
Instead, we are talking about an image that every person has
either seen or will see at some point in their lives. 

A woman's breast is really a commonplace type of thing. In fact,
over half of the people in the world naturally have at least two 
of them. 

People who had a commercial interest in the Super Bowl have
been jumping on the bandwagon to protest this breast:

* CBS, MTV and the NFL are all denying pre-knowledge of this
  publicity stunt, and offering their apologies for the 
  incident.
* AOL is threatening to seek a refund for their ad placements
  in this year's Super Bowl. 
* Pepsi is threatening not to sponsor next year's Super Bowl.
* The Grammy's are threatening to exclude Janet Jackson and 
  Justin Timberlake from their awards show, unless they
  publicly apologize for their actions.
* News pundits everywhere are putting their snickers on the 
  incident while showing a censored version of the breast
  incident again and again --- as if they know everyone wants
  to see it again.

Even the federal government is jumping on the bandwagon:

* The FCC has launched an investigation into the now infamous
  breast incident.

And Presidential candidates are getting their sound bytes in:

* Howard Dean is pointing out that it is *much ado about 
  nothing.*

How about that? Howard Dean and I agree on something. I guess
there really is a first time for everything.


THE DANGER OF THE NIPPLE

Terri Carlin of Knoxville, Tennesse has filed a lawsuit on
account of the nipple that harmed her.

According to the Associated Press story about the proposed 
class action lawsuit, *As a direct and proximate result of the 
broadcast of the acts, (Carlin) and millions of others saw the 
acts and were caused to suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment 
and serious injury,* the lawsuit says. 

Terri Carlin has joined Dan Quayle in the annals of notorious 
boobs (an ignorant or foolish person).

Since when can a person suffer *serious injury* from a two
second glimpse of a boob? Now, a car wreck can cause *serious 
injury*. A bomb can cause *serious injury*. A baseball bat can
even cause *serious injury*. But, how does one propose that a 
boob can cause *serious injury*?

Does Terri also suffer *serious injury* when she disrobes for
a shower? This is another example of a ridiculous and frivolous
lawsuit.


WHAT ABOUT THE HARM TO OUR CHILDREN?

Let me tell you something. The harm to our children is not the 
boob that was glimpsed on national television. Instead, the harm 
to our children is in the reactions of all of the silly parents 
who are yelping about the sighting of a nipple at the Super Bowl.

Parents in the United States are scared to death that if their
children are exposed to nude images, then the tender psyche
of their children will be damaged in some manner. Yet, these 
same children are expected to grow up and have normal and 
healthy sex lives. 

Am I the only one who sees the contradiction here?

The following joke astutely shows the fallacy behind the *harm 
argument*:

   One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they 
   stumbled upon a naked woman frolicking in the water. After 
   a few moments one of the boys turned and ran away.

   The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took 
   off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked, 
   "It was interesting man, why did you run away?"

   The other boy replied, "My Mom told me if I ever saw a naked 
   lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something turning to 
   stone, so I ran." 


THE REAL HARM IS IN THE PARENTS' REACTIONS TO NUDE IMAGES

Parents want their children to be sheltered from sexual images.
They want to protect their children from the *dangers* of sexual
images. 

Some parents will go to great lengths and tell great tales to 
keep the minds of their children pure and wholesome. 

But, what happens in the mind of a young adult, when the dictates
of their parents shift from repressive puritanism to openess 
towards relationships and marriage? 

Parents look forward to grandchildren, but they train their 
children to grow up with an unhealthy attitude towards the 
human body and the human sex drive. 


I WILL RAISE MY OWN CHILDREN DIFFERNTLY THAN MY PARENTS RAISED ME

When you consider the American puritanism towards sex, is it 
any wonder that dysfunction and divorce are so rampant in the 
American populace?

My wife knows how I feel on this issue and is agreeable to my
point of view. Our older boy had to endure my wife's early fears 
about human sexuality, but she is pretty well come around. Well,
nearly come around. 

My wife is finally past my oldest boys' tendency to play with
himself. We don't get mad at him for it or tell him not to do
it. We do not try to embarrass or intimidate him from his 
natural exploration of his own body.

Very much to my mother-in-law's dismay, our four year old knows
what a female breast is and has seen two of them many of times.
He also knows what the male equipment is, and he knows that girls
don't have the same equipment. 

Our youngest is still learning how to talk.

My wife and I have agreed that when the time comes, we will 
not try to put our head in the sand or to try to put the heads
of our children in the sand. Instead, we will talk openly about
human sexuality with our children, and we will talk about the
importance of choice and abstinence.

I will not pass my own dysfunctions on to my children. And you 
should not either. The time has come to stop being a boob about
the boob.